We Can Be Kind
- How do we make it better?
How do we make it through?
What can we do
When there’s nothing we can do?
We can be kind
We can take care of each other
We can remember that deep down inside
We all need the same things
A friend of mine, a friend to many in the local GLBT community, passed away last December. Upon dying, he asked his friends to remember this song, titled “We Can Be Kind.”
Sometimes it seems like this world is so full of anger and hate. Everybody claims they want peace, and we all seem to agree that peace is a common goal. So why is it so difficult to achieve?
Hearing this song and knowing it was the dying wish of a friend really puts it into perspective. I know we can’t solve all the problems of the world in one day. But if we can all just be kind to one another, it’s certainly a start.
Puppy Cuteness
Just some random cuteness of Mrs. Madrigal. She’s 11 weeks old now.
Bad News Bears
Some people have an addiction to spreading bad news.
In a couple of days, someone I know is going to deliver bad news to someone else I know. The news itself doesn’t have to be that bad. She could just deliver the general overview of the situation and it really wouldn’t be a big deal.
But true to her nature, this person loves stirring the shit. I think she’s only happy when other people are miserable. So sure enough, it seems she’s going to deliver the news in the most dramatic, detailed way, sparing no amount of negativity. Maybe she secretly derives pleasure from other people’s pain. Maybe she drinks the tears of young children and basks in the music of babies crying. I dunno, but whatever the case, she loves a good piece of life-shattering gossip and is always first to spread it.
The situation frustrates me and I’m so tempted to intervine. I know the bad news is going to be delivered either way, but I just wish for once this person would tone down the theatrical performance and just give the news with as little detail as possible. The outcome won’t change either way, but sometimes it’s nice to let someone else feel a little dignity at the end of the day.
Be kind whenever you can. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind.
Um, We Know What You Look Like
Why do people hate having their picture taken?
We all have that friend. You know who I’m talking about. They hate having their picture taken. They will go out of their way to avoid having their picture taken. And if, by chance, you do take their picture, they will fuss and criticize about how awful they look in the picture.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret… We already know what you look like.
Yep, sorry to burst your bubble. We already know how you look, and so does everyone around you. So if you think you look heavy in photos, you need to start exercising. If you don’t like your hair, your make-up, your clothes, then you need to change them. Change the color, change the style, change the technique. But don’t fall under the false illusion that avoiding pictures somehow makes you invisible to people around you. We all see you.
I have things I don’t like about the way I look. We all do. It took a cold dose of reality from photos to change that. I realized, of course, that I couldn’t change everything I was insecure about. But with a little trial and error, I was able to greatly improve things I didn’t like about my apperance. You should do try that too.
Oh, and by the way, your friends love you.
Nobody is your friend because of the way you look. Friends stick by you because there is something they like about you. So when they are trying to take a picture of you, and you stubbornly protest, don’t think you’re doing any favors. Instead, you’re just frustrating them. So simmer down, put on a smile, and just pose for the damn picture!
The Importance of Vacations
What ever happened to the tradition of vacations?
When I was a kid, family vacations were a yearly event. My parents took my two older brothers and me somewhere fun. We went all over the country.
My parents didn’t have a lot of money. In fact, sometimes they struggled to make ends meet. But they always found ways to cut corners and save up so they could make memories with their boys. And I think that’s a tradition worth keeping alive.
People don’t take vacations anymore. At least not in the U.S. Taking time off is frowned upon in most work establishments, and even when people do take the time off, they are still tied to their cell phone and laptops. The hell with that! That’s not a vacation.
I don’t understand why people don’t reward themselves more often. Taking a break from the everyday stress of life really does wonders, even if it’s something simple like spending the weekend on a camping trip 40 miles outside of your city.
I’m writing this because I’ve read several articles lately about how other countries make vacation a habit, while most Americans consider it a luxury. Employers don’t want to give their worker bees a few days to relax. And even if people do get the time off, they are racked with guilt and obligation to still work remotely.
Live your life, overworked Americans! If you don’t have a spouse or significant other to vacation with, take your best friends. Go alone. Do whatever you want, but just do something nice for yourself. You’re probably not going to remember the work you did last summer, but I bet you’ll remember that ski trip for many years to come!
Introducing Our New Puppy, Mrs. Madrigal
There’s a new addition to our family… A baby Schnauzer named Mrs. Anna Madrigal. Let me start by explaining the name.
Mrs. Madrigal is our favorite character in Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City book series. A sweet, eccentric, pot-smoking tranny who plays Mother Hen to the main cast of characters. I think Mrs. Madrigal is the mom every gay man wishes he had. Anyway, I always thought it would be fun to name a pet after the character. So that’s the origin. We simply call her Anna, as it’s much easier to explain to strangers.
Unlike the character in the books, our Mrs. Madrigal is 100% female. She was born on March 24, which was my Grandmother’s birthday. How appropriate that we’d fall in love with a little puppy who shared the birth date with a great woman in my life.
Daniel and I got her over the weekend and training her has been a full-time adventure. But for the most part, she’s pretty calm, especially for a puppy. She loves to give kisses and cuddle with her two daddies. The first few nights were hard for her because she’d just been weaned from her mother, father, and 5 siblings. But we’ve been giving her plenty of attention to keep her happy.
I hope you all like puppy photos because I’m sure there are many more around the corner! 
Coke vs. Pepsi
Don’t you love it when you go to a restaurant and order a Coke, only to hear, “I’m sorry, we don’t have Coke. Would you like a Pepsi product instead?”
A Pepsi product? Does Pepsi have the deliciously sweet undertones of vanilla, caramel, nutmeg, orange oil, lemon oil, and cinnamon that Coke has? I think not!
It’s like ordering a meatloaf and being asked if you’d like an old sweaty gym shoe with ketchup on top instead. Not the same taste, is it?
As I write this, I’m enjoying a nice cold Coca Cola, of course.
The Proper Way to Poop
Oh sweet baby Jesus! There’s nothing proper about this topic!
Everybody poops. True story. And it’s been long overdue for me to write a new post about poop on my blog. But that changes today! Poop is evolving, ladies and gentlemen. Yessiree, it is. And I want to make sure my valued readers stay on top of the trends in pooping. Afterall, it sure would be awkward if you found yourself in a social setting where everyone was discussing their pooping habits and you found out you’d been practicing trends from 2009. Yikes!
Part 1: The Courtesy Flush
There’s nothing worse than walking into a bathroom and being smacked in the face by the awful ass stench left behind by someone else’s poop. It’s easy to prevent. When you drop that first chocolate bomb, which usually is the biggest and stinkiest, flush the toilet immediately afterwards. This will wash away the preliminary stank, and since you’re creating a shield over the toilet with your ass, most of the smell will go away with it. You may drop a few more nuggets in the aftermath, then wash it down with some fresh squeezed lemonade, but chances are that most of the stink will be eliminated.
Part 2: Wiping Like a Champ
What’s up with these people who stand up to wipe their ass? Do you purposely want to drop your nasty ass flakes down into your pants? Gross. The correct way to wipe your ass is to shift your body to one side, putting your weight on your hip of choice, and then wiping your asshole from bottom to top as your cheeks are spread. This ensures a firm, wide swipe.
Part 3: Get Your Shit Together
Americans clearly have a problem with pooping. They don’t poop regularly, so they’ve sent in Jamie Lee Curtis to save the day with yogurt. They can’t wipe properly, so they’ve sent in cartoon bears to sell toilet paper that doesn’t leave residue. How did taking a dump become so complicated?
Maybe people should take a look at the awful, chemical packed food they are shoveling down their throats and think about the repercussions. The truth is that a healthy diet combined with moderate exercise will bring you happy poop! And when I say happy poop, I mean there should be little to no streakage when you wipe your ass. Shocking, isn’t it? But a healthy, properly functioning digestive system will produce firm, clean breaking poopies that don’t leave behind any mess when you wipe.
Part 4: Clean as a Whistle
The last step in proper pooping is proper cleanup. For a lickably clean ass, you should keep some kind of wet wipes next to your toilet. Unscented baby wipes are usually less expensive, so check those out too. After you’ve wiped your butt, take a wet wipe and run it up and down your ass crack, making sure to you clean your hole thoroughly and also clean up any lint buildup that may have accumulated from your underwear. Oh, and don’t forget to wipe your dick off too. I’ve preached this over and over. Some of you are on board with this, yet others stubbornly resist. “Shaking it off” doesn’t do the job, and if you insist it does, I want you to wear a white pair of underwear and inspect it at the end of the day. You’ll find that there are yellow stains in the front because you didn’t clean your dirty dick off properly. So just wipe the damn thing; it isn’t that difficult.
Last but not least, wash your hands with soap and warm water. Then walk proudly out of the bathroom with your head held high, because you’ve just pooped properly! You’re ready to conquer the world, champ! Bravo.
Tennessee, the Home of Anti-Gay Laws
The city of Nashville, which I love so much and affectionately refer to as “Homeville,” has been in the news a lot lately. Specifically, it has been the battleground for several embarrassing and discriminatory laws that have passed by a landslide.
It started last year, when we passed a new law making it illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. Sounds like an amazing step forward, right?
Well business owners cried foul, saying that this conflicted with their religious beliefs. True story. People actually argued that their personal religious views were being violated if they were not allowed to discriminate against gay and transgender people. (Palm to forehead.)
So the non-discrimination law was repealed and Gov. Bill Haslam signed the repeal tonight. In the year 2011, a state governor actually re-instated a law that says it’s perfectly fine to discriminate against gay people. Wonderful.
Next, we have a law in the works that would make it illegal for anyone in the school system to discuss or even acknowledge homosexuality around children in grades K-8. As an example, let’s say a middle school kid is gay, or perceived to be gay, and he’s being bullied by his peers. He goes to a trusted teacher or mentor to talk about it. Under this law, the teacher cannot discuss it with the child because, according to law, the topic of being gay is forbidden. Yes, forbidden! The teacher could be fired on the spot.
So now being gay has become some type of swear word, which only sends a message to GLBT youth that there is something wrong with them. Wow, what a wonderful solution for all these teen suicides! Make gay youth feel even more outcast by not allowing their teachers to talk with them!
Daniel and I went to a protest event, which is where I took the touching photograph above. There were many straight people with kids there, showing their support for equality and agreeing that there is nothing wrong with gay people.
Despite protests, calls and letters to state leaders, the bill has passed several rounds of voting. It’s sponsored by Stacey Campfield, a member of the TN House of Representatives. The sad thing is that flaming closet case has been passionately pursuing this bill for years! Don’t you just love it when politicians are so deep in the closet, they decide to punish the rest of us with these outrageous laws? It won’t go through the next round until next season, so thankfully it’s on hold for now. I hope during the summer he gets caught in some gloryhole bathroom stall encounter by an undercover cop and voters will see just how hypocritical he is. Maybe then, this stupid bill will be put to rest before it becomes law.
Anyway, this is my long overdue rant about Tennessee’s current politics. These issues have weighed heavily on Daniel and me. As a newly married gay couple in Nashville, we are very sad that the state is constantly finding new ways to strip away GLBT rights.
And it’s a tough topic because these laws do not reflect the view of all Tennesseans. We have many diverse and open-minded communities. Gay and straight people live, work, and socialize peacefully together throughout the state. I really do love this city. I wish the bigots were not doing so much damage in Nashville.
There’s that voice inside that says run away, as fast as we can, to a new state, where we’ll be more accepted. But there’s also a triumphant spirit inside that says we deserve to live here just as much as anyone else. This place is our home too, and we should continue fighting the battle for equality. We have a wonderful support system of family and friends here, so I don’t suppose we’ll be running away just yet. We love them too much to leave right now.
It’s the End of the World As We Know It…
And I feel fine…
There have been many days that I’ve sat down at my computer, feeling inspired to write some passionate post about an encounter I’d had. Something I witnessed, something I read, something I heard about. But as I find myself halfway through, I feel depleted. Robbed of all my energy. The world has gone mad, and keeping up with the lightning fast pace can be exhausting.
History has shown us that society is full of highs and lows. Looking back someday, I think many people will agree that this particular period is a low. We had a media frenzy of birthers. A group of people who defied all reason and common sense. I’ll never forget the day that a client of mine in Canada called me, laughing hysterically on the phone because he just could not believe a news report he’d heard about Donald Trump. It was a cold, cruel reminder that other countries, even our neighbors to the North, think we are a bunch of idiots. And it’s true. He had every right to be laughing hysterically. If you were on the outside looking in, wouldn’t you think our society has become a joke?
Then there are the Rapture fanatics. I still can’t believe this one. They really think the end of the world is tomorrow night at 6 P.M. In fact, they “guarantee it.” Nobody even seems willing to ponder the fact that time is a region-specific measurement. It is not 6 P.M. everywhere at the same time!
I think that all forms of society go through trends. There will always be crazy people, of course. Crazy trends, crazy ideas. And sometimes I embrace the crazy. Sometimes crazy is a good thing. As Norman Bates said, “We all go a little mad sometimes.”
But in general, we really need to get a grip. Americans especially. I really hope that someday we will realize this. I know we’re better than this. I know we’re smarter than this.
So here’s to hoping that society reaches another high soon. The world sure could use a change of pace.
