Pardon me for a moment while I explore the intricacies of my own astrological sign, Scorpio.

Books always say that I’m a sign of transformation. It’s true that during many points in my life, I’ve abruptly and without warning changed my entire lifestyle. Many people find that to be a hard pill to swallow, as change usually requires gradual transition. But for me, I’ve found myself capable of completely jumping into a new routine, as if a switch were turned on.

When the new year began, I changed. It was completely intentional. All of the things that caused me trouble in my life were gone in an instant.

I spent Dec. 31 volunteering at church to feed the homeless. Every Thursday night, a group comes in for a hot meal and a place to sleep. It was humbling to witness what life is like for them. Sure, it makes us all feel better to do these kind deeds, but this isn’t about earning a pat on the back. This is real life. This is the world we live in. It can be scary and cold, and isolating.

Often times, I feel isolated myself. Trapped in the pain and suffering of my head. I have felt so lonely at times. I have felt empty and useless, as if nothing mattered.

But it does matter. It all matters. It all counts for something, and I’ve had to step outside of myself, my own selfishness, and understand that there are bigger things in this world.

I still lack direction. I still don’t know exactly where I’m going, but I felt the healthiest thing to do was immerse myself in helping others first. This is how I’ve transformed myself, starting with baby steps.

Another effort I’ve taken on is teaching a Sunday school class for children at this same church, which is a gay-friendly church. (The pastor is a lesbian.) Religion is a deeply complex issue that I am still working out. I don’t suppose we ever truly have it figured out. But nonetheless, I enjoy spending time with the children. They are little rays of sunshine with bright eyes and big dreams about the world. Thankfully, this type of religion focuses on embracing our diversity, not spreading hate and judgment, as so many do.

This is my transformation so far. I’ve had to completely break myself down and throw away all the pieces to build a new me. The old me just wasn’t working out.

Day 6 of the new year. No drama, no stress. Life is enjoyable.

I’ve scaled back everything and gotten back to basics. I haven’t even been online much, except for work.

One day at a time.

I’m so excited to tell you about this!

I’ve written a guest post for my friend Chris of My 2 Cents and it will be going live on New Year’s Day. Let me give you some background on it.

Chris has a column called “Ask Sofanda Cox.” (Say the name together… so-fond-a-cocks.) Sofanda is an… um… how do I put it… opinionated lady who gives advice to crazy questions. For my guest post, I created a column called “Ask Justin Yermouth.” Chris supplied the questions and I gave the answers. I really enjoyed it!

Here is a sampling of what you can expect. Be sure to visit My 2 Cents on New Year’s Day to read the full guest post!

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Dear Justin,

Recently I decided to shave my balls so I jumped in the shower grabbed a razor and some shaving cream and went to town. I evidently fucked it up because I sliced open my sack and blood went everywhere. I’m too embarrassed to go to the doctor to get stitches, but I’m not sure this will heal without them. I have three questions: how long do I have to wait before I go back to the gloryhole and let the boys lick my sack and suck my cock; do you know of a way to make this cut heal without stitches; and how can I avoid this in the future?

Gay Boys Don’t Want RedWings

    Dear RedWings,

    First of all, you’re a dumbass. Who the fuck still shaves their nutsack in the shower these days? This isn’t 1976. Go to Target and shell out the $16.99 for a men’s grooming kit and use the guard settings like the rest of civilization. And no, of course it isn’t going to heal without stitches. Unless you’re one of the vampires from “True Blood,” you probably can’t heal yourself. It’s just going to get infected and then you’ll lose your balls completely. So in summary: get stitches, get a grooming kit, and use your other head next time. The question about gloryholes doesn’t even warrant a response. Good luck.

    Keep those nuts in their shell,
    Justin

It just hit me… The decade is almost over.

It’s funny to say it, but I honestly didn’t realize it. With all the hustle and bustle of daily life, I was aware a new year was upon us, but just now absorbed the reality that it was the end of an era.

I remember this period vividly from 10 years ago. I know what I was doing, where I was going, and what I had planned for my future. Now I’m left reflecting on it all. Some of it good, some of it bad, such is life. But I’m stunned.

How do you feel about it? Where has life taken you now vs. where it was going when the decade began?

He knows how I like my tea in the morning. I know he can’t go to sleep without a glass of water on the nightstand.

He knows I’m impressed when he can reference every song by Mariah. I know I can win his heart every time I quote lyrics by Kylie.

He knows every spot where I’m ticklish. I know that paybacks are a bitch.

He knows he can tell me anything and I’ll listen. I know he appreciates it when I open up and tell him my secrets.

He knows I’ll write one more blog post before going out of town. I know it will be the first thing he checks for when he gets on his computer.

He knows that I love him. I know he loves me too.

And now, a word from Black Eyed Peas…

I’ve got so much love
For you darlin’
And I
I wanna let you know how I feel

And it’s true that I love you
And it’s true
You’re the only one
And I do
I adore you
And it’s true
You make me feel alive

It’s been a day of many passionate debates due to over 1,000 e-mails that were allegedly stolen from the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia. [News source: CNN]

The theory/argument is that some of the top scientists have manipulated data about global warming to make it appear more urgent. A lot of questions still remain, especially the authenticity of the leaked e-mails. But news of this has caught a lot of attention.

Global warming has always been controversial. It’s easy to look outside and notice that the seasons have been warmer than they were when I was younger. I can’t help but notice the decrease in snowfall each winter too. When I was a child, we were almost guaranteed to have a white Christmas every year. Now, it’s hit or miss, and I’ve even experienced Christmas when it was warm enough to be outside without a coat.

But other experts have pointed to a natural cycle of warming trends that happen to the planet over a period of centuries. This data shows that the seasons would gradually change anyway, regardless of human contribution.

I’m not a scientist, and I haven’t read enough to get on a soapbox with very passionate arguments either way. But I will say this…

#1 - I rarely assume that a problem only comes from one source. I’ve found that life is hardly so black and white. I do believe we should reduce pollution and be more energy efficient. I also believe there could be bad consequences if we don’t. But I don’t know if I’ve ever truly believed the planet would just explode into a big fireball someday.

#2 - I think we should always keep an open mind to all arguments that surround something so serious. People get so narrow minded and just insist on sticking to their own theories. Is there really any harm in seeing multiple sides?

#3 - We once thought the world was flat. We don’t know everything, and I’d hate it if we woke up tomorrow and had nothing new to learn. Let’s stay informed and remember that we’re all citizens of this planet, so we all need to know what’s going on with it.


Nathan & Graham

Yesterday, I turned 28. While that’s not considered any particular milestone to most people, it was of significant personal importance to me.

28 was supposed to be the age when I had everything together in my life. My perception of the world is a mix of optimism, ambition, and intense determination. When I say “this is what I’m going to do and this is how it’s going to be,” I really do everything I can to succeed.

With that in mind, life did not go as planned when I was 27. Most of you know the story, and for those who don’t, I’d be happy to tell you sometime. But the bottom line is that I was thrown a huge curve ball. I had two options:

Option #1 - Give up, admit defeat, lay down and die.
Option #2 - Rebuild everything I thought my life was and define the next chapter.

During some dark moments, Option #1 really did seem like the way to go. When the rug is pulled out from under you, it’s hard to get back up. But I did. I always do, and always will have one more fight left in me.

So as I’ve crossed over to a new age, I’ve worked to understand 28 will not be the age that I have everything together. But I’m working on it… always a work in progress. I have my goals, my plans, my hopes and dreams. I do believe everything works out in the end, and that’s the eternal optimist in me.

While I work to achieve it, I know I have a great group of family and friends that love me. That helps a lot. I went out last night and had a great time. It was a fun birthday and I’m happy to have a new man by my side to help me celebrate it.

Graham and I love the photo at the top of this post. It was taken last night and it’s our favorite one. It’s silly and unusual… well, it’s us.

28 may not be what I thought it would be, but I have a feeling it’s going to be even better!

I’m really surprised that a lot of stores still use plastic bags. Not only that, but their employees don’t seem to be properly trained in reducing the number of bags they use. At some stores, they just put one or two items in each bag. I think they should try to utilize the space and fit as much as they safely can in one bag before they start on the next.

One thing I’ve tried to do to remedy this situation is bringing my own reusable bags into stores. It felt funny at first, carrying a Publix or Kroger bag into a place like Walgreens. But it always impresses the person working at the register. Actually, they’ve thanked me for doing it.

The bags are bigger, sturdier, and much easier to pack. Plus, the obvious benefit is that I’m not using plastic. People behind me notice, and I’d like to think that my actions will inspire at least one person to do what I do.

So if you want to do something friendly for the earth, pick up some reusable bags at your grocery store. They’re usually just $1 each. I always keep mine in my car so I can use them at other places too.

What a great week I have ahead!

The sun is really going to have to work hard to outshine me because I’m in a great mood all the way around. I have something fun planned for every night of the week, leading up to my birthday on Friday. Good friends, good times, and a good new man in my life.

Oh, and then the week after that is Thanksgiving. I’ll be seeing my family and meeting up with a friend I haven’t seen since 2000! Then we get into the holiday season. I’m looking forward to starting new traditions and rediscovering the season.

Life is great. I’m going to enjoy every day left in this year and I’m ready for an exciting 2010!