The 20 Hour Work Week?
A few days ago, a client scolded me for not working during the weekend.
“I called you all weekend. Why didn’t you answer your phone?” she asked.
Well the first problem is that I had no record of her calling repeatedly. There was a log of one missed call early Friday evening. So she was either exaggerating or flat out lying. In either case, I use Google Voice to manage my business calls and clients who call after hours receive a message that informs them I’m closed for the evening or weekend.
I gently reminded her that I’m not on call 24/7. I’m a website designer, not a doctor, after all. This seemed to perplex her because she works from 7 A.M. – 10 P.M., only taking breaks for meals and church. Wow. Is that someone’s idea of a life?
This isn’t the first time I’ve been given a lecture either. Some people find it downright shocking that I have outside interests, hobbies, and goals, which have nothing to do with work. Further, they find it inconceivable that I don’t plan to spend my last dying breath working at my computer. Wild, isn’t it?
For the most part, I’ve adopted a 20-30 hour work week. I never reveal this to a client because I fear their head would explode. But it’s true. I’ve worked very hard over the last 15 or so years trying to improve my strategy as a designer. So when I do work, it’s concentrated into very detailed execution. Then I have free time to focus on other goals, such as working on my novel.
I’m not a big fan of the expectation to work 40 hours. The weird thing is that most people aren’t really working that long anyway. They waste a few hours on Facebook, a few hours reading news, maybe a little time playing games online. If you added up the actual work they did, it would probably just be 30 hours worth. So why not cut past all the crap and let employees working shorter shifts, therefore encouraging them to be efficient with their time? Get in, get out, and get back home so you can do the fun things you really like.
Many countries already use this system and have found it really is better. But here we’ve been conditioned to believe that we’re supposed to sit at a desk all damn day, and that somehow equates to being productive. Instead, I just think it causes people to burn out and lose their enthusiasm.
It’s something to ponder. Thankfully, being self employed, I’ve found a system that is successful and still provides a paycheck. Clients may squabble about it from time to time, but that’s okay. I’ll enjoy a glass of wine while they’re stuck at their desk.
Beware of The Economy!
Today I read that “The Economy” added 200,000 jobs last month.
Who is “The Economy” anyway? Is he like The Wizard of Oz? People are always speaking as if it’s a real human being with super powers.
If he’s feeling generous, he’ll throw the unemployed a bone and offer them a paying job. But if he’s stingy, he’ll take those jobs away and leave people in poverty. I can’t help but wonder why we idolize The Economy as if it’s the great ruler of the world.
Oh, and here’s another one I love. Recently a man told me he had a great job until The Economy “got him.” How did it “get him” anyway? There’s this scene in the movie The Village where a mysterious monster in a red cloak goes door to door. If you’re chosen, he will mark your house with a red swipe of paint. Is that how The Economy “got” the guy I was talking to? Like he was chosen?
Both of the movies I’ve mentioned above have one thing in common – A group of people believes that something powerful controls their fate. This larger than life force can either make them or break them. And in both movies, this thing was revealed to be a mere human in disguise, posing to gain control over the masses.
I often think The Economy works that way. As humans, we have to believe something bigger than us is controlling our jobs, our homes, our market. And by giving power to this belief, we let it dictate the terms which we live by.
The shocking truth is that we, the people, control this economy. People ARE the economy. And yeah, it sucks when we lose our job. Yeah, it sucks when we can’t afford to pay for our homes or put food on the tables. But that’s always been how life is – A series of ups and downs that shape us.
If we stop learning from life experiences, and instead just blame it on something like the economy, we don’t really grow or aim higher. It’s easier to assign blame than to just keep striving for success.
So you’ll have to understand why I cringe when The Economy is treated like a real person. It should just be treated like a general atmosphere that gauges the number of jobs and cashflow with a particular society. It’s a means of measuring. Please don’t let it control your dreams of the things you want to achieve in life.
Happiness comes without limits. The economy has no control over your potential for success.
Be You
The new year is upon us and many of us are going through a list of things we’d like to change about ourselves.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthier, more successful, more outgoing, or whatever it is you plan to change. But don’t forget there’s something beautiful and special about the way you are right now.
You made it this far, didn’t you? So you certainly did something right. And while it’s natural to always want to be a better version of ourselves, sometimes we become so obsessed with changing that we lose our own identity.
Love yourself and be who you are… Whoever you are. Whoever you’ve been or aspire to be. Have a safe and happy start to the new year.
We Can Be Kind
- How do we make it better?
How do we make it through?
What can we do
When there’s nothing we can do?
We can be kind
We can take care of each other
We can remember that deep down inside
We all need the same things
A friend of mine, a friend to many in the local GLBT community, passed away last December. Upon dying, he asked his friends to remember this song, titled “We Can Be Kind.”
Sometimes it seems like this world is so full of anger and hate. Everybody claims they want peace, and we all seem to agree that peace is a common goal. So why is it so difficult to achieve?
Hearing this song and knowing it was the dying wish of a friend really puts it into perspective. I know we can’t solve all the problems of the world in one day. But if we can all just be kind to one another, it’s certainly a start.
The Importance of Vacations
What ever happened to the tradition of vacations?
When I was a kid, family vacations were a yearly event. My parents took my two older brothers and me somewhere fun. We went all over the country.
My parents didn’t have a lot of money. In fact, sometimes they struggled to make ends meet. But they always found ways to cut corners and save up so they could make memories with their boys. And I think that’s a tradition worth keeping alive.
People don’t take vacations anymore. At least not in the U.S. Taking time off is frowned upon in most work establishments, and even when people do take the time off, they are still tied to their cell phone and laptops. The hell with that! That’s not a vacation.
I don’t understand why people don’t reward themselves more often. Taking a break from the everyday stress of life really does wonders, even if it’s something simple like spending the weekend on a camping trip 40 miles outside of your city.
I’m writing this because I’ve read several articles lately about how other countries make vacation a habit, while most Americans consider it a luxury. Employers don’t want to give their worker bees a few days to relax. And even if people do get the time off, they are racked with guilt and obligation to still work remotely.
Live your life, overworked Americans! If you don’t have a spouse or significant other to vacation with, take your best friends. Go alone. Do whatever you want, but just do something nice for yourself. You’re probably not going to remember the work you did last summer, but I bet you’ll remember that ski trip for many years to come!
Coloring Outside the Lines
I love to walk in the park across the street.
There is a sidewalk that surrounds the pond in a circle. No start or finish, no end or beginning. You can walk anywhere on the sidewalk and it will still take you around the circle.
The funny thing about the circle is that everyone walks in the same direction. I often wonder why. Like little ants following their leader. I don’t like walking with the rest of the crowd because there is that awkward moment when you’re both going at the same pace and you either have to speed up or slow down to avoid making it feel like you’re stalking them.
So I walk in the opposite direction. There is no awkward hovering. Everyone sees me coming and we give each other space on the sidewalk. I can go at any speed I want because we only pass each other for a moment.
One day, Daniel joined me for a walk. “Hey, you’re going the wrong way,” he told me.
“Why is it the wrong way?” I asked him.
“Don’t you see that everyone is walking in that direction?” he explained.
“So what? Is there a sign somewhere that says you have to walk in that direction? I like walking in the opposite direction.”
Daniel just laughed and proceeded to walk the rebellious path with me.
It’s a simple observation, and I don’t suppose the direction I walk at the local park has much value to the rest of the world. But it’s interesting to examine human nature. Following the patterns people take on a stroll through the park could be representative of their personality at large. Some people like predictability and order. Others like adventure and blazing their own trail.
It brings to memory a specific instance in grade school. I was coloring an illustration with my crayons. I was very young and it was the last day before Thanksgiving break. I colored the whole turkey blue and went quite far outside the lines.
“Why, Nathan,” the teacher scolded me. “There’s no such thing as a blue turkey and you colored outside the lines.”
“But it’s my turkey and I want it to be blue. And I don’t want to color inside the stupid lines,” I argued defiantly.
She just shook her head and moved on. To this day, I don’t like coloring inside the lines, and I don’t like following the same path as others.
The Million Dollar Check
I stared in disbelief at the blank check in my hand.
I’d had a really rough week and nothing seemed to be going my way financially. When I drove to my bank to deposit the commission check, I knew what the amount was supposed to be. I didn’t even bother opening the envelope until I pulled in to the bank parking lot.
So I tore open the envelope. Jagged edges along the top. Then I pulled out the check and was stunned by what I saw.
A blank check from a reasonably large corporation. My name and address was printed right on it. A blank check, with infinite possibilities. It had even been hand signed in blue ink. How did a mistake like this happen?
Filling in the amount would be easy. I’d just have to load it into my printer and have the amount typed out on the line. It wouldn’t look unusual or suspicious at all.
How much could I get away with before someone noticed? $500 easy. A couple of thousand dollars? Probably so. A million dollars? I doubt it. Most corporations probably didn’t leave that much money in one account. Or at least I assume they don’t. But then again, what kind of corporation accidentally sends out blank checks anyway?
My head spun with possibilities. How much trouble would I get into? After all, they did sign the check. Is it really fraud if they signed it?
After a few minutes of excitement, daydreaming about all the options, I quickly realized that no amount was worth it. The most I could get away with was probably a couple of hundred before anyone would notice. And that certainly wouldn’t be worth the jail time or penalty fees for forging a check.
I pulled out my pen and wrote in the correct amount on the check. It looked a little funny being hand-written when the rest of the check was typed, but the amount was relatively small. Even if it did arouse questions from the bank teller, I would have no trouble verifying the amount. Afterall, it was the correct amount.
Lately I’ve wondered if karma is real and if anybody ever gets what they deserve? I’ve seen a lot of bad things happen to good people. Is there even such a thing as right and wrong?
For example, last summer, I found a wallet in a grocery store parking lot with $1,800 cash, plus several platinum credit cards. I could have taken the cash with no problems and maybe even used the cards. But instead, I looked the owner up on my phone. He was a doctor. I called him at home and he came to meet me. I was certain that he’d at least hand me one of those crisp hundred dollar bills to reward me for my honesty.
But instead, he gave me a quick “thank you,” got back into his car and drove off. There were no questions about where I found it or what my name was. He didn’t even pause to open the wallet or count the money inside. It seemed as if he was not bothered by losing a wallet full of cash and credit cards.
In my head, I grumbled, thinking I could have just as easily taken some of the cash without consequence. But after all, it wasn’t my wallet, or my cash to take. So despite a moment of selfishness, I could not allow myself to sink to that level of dishonesty. We are not owed rewards for being good citizens.
Well if doing the right thing has any value at all, I hope there is a big dose of positive energy coming my way for resisting temptations. Money sure does have a way of falling into my lap. Too bad it’s always someone else’s.
A Charmed Day
Yesterday was better than I thought it would be.
A few years ago, I was on a really optimistic streak. I used to write encouraging articles about how to improve your life, how to be happier. When bad news started to strike, I got caught up in my pessimistic cycle.
It’s been awhile since I was truly optimistic. I definitely have strong spells of optimism, and perhaps I’m more positive thinking than some of my friends. But all in all, I know I could have a better outlook on life, like I used to.
Daniel and I are here in Cincinnati for his grandmother’s funeral. Death is hard as it is. But I felt it was going to be even harder because there are many of his family members who are strongly and vocally homophobic. So we both were expecting fireworks yesterday when we all had to be in the same room for the visitation.
I took a deep breath and prayed for only positive energy to surround us. Yes, despite my love/hate relationship with religion, I do have moments in which I still pray.
It was a simple act, but I knew in my head that I had to improve my attitude. I have to get back to my roots.
First of all, it was a very calm evening. Everyone was respectful, as they should have been. And the biggest bully of all didn’t even show up to the visitation. Another blessing.
So with this in mind, I asked for something positive, and nothing but positive things happened. Today is the funeral, and I am once again asking for positive energy to surround me.
Tomorrow is my 29th birthday. I love birthdays, but I’m not thrilled about the age marker. My average reader is in their mid-40s, so I know you’re just groaning and rolling your eyes that a 29 year old would be complaining about getting older.
Hear me out. Yes, I know 29 is still young. I get it. But hey, let’s be honest. Most people enjoy being 20-something. There is a certain youthfulness about it and once we’re in our 30s, it’s a different ballgame.
i know my 30s will be amazing. I know I’ll be wiser, stronger, and better. But for what it’s worth, I like being 20-something. And I’m not quite ready to let go and embrace that I only have one year left before 30.
So that’s what I have to say about that. I wish everyone a positive and happy day. Do the best you can, speak kindly to others, and share all the happiness you can.
The Warrior Within
The text message caught me by surprise. I pulled out my phone to read:
- I just want you to know that you are an amazing man, and I deeply value you and your friendship. Thank you for all that you have done for me.
When I saw his words, I was overcome with emotion as I felt the tears rise to the surface. I tried to hold back and keep myself together as I sat in the restaurant.
My friend has been battling cancer for the second time in his life. I remember the phone call, just a little over 3 months ago, when he was feeling hopeless, faithless, and had decided he was going to die. He’d picked out a casket, made funeral arrangements, and admitted defeat.
But despite the understandable doom and gloom he was going through, he’s surviving. He isn’t dead. So what a shock it was to see him tell ME that I’m an amazing man, when I think he’s the amazing one. I can’t begin to imagine what he’s been through. All I’ve done is listen to him when he needed to talk. That’s not so incredible.
A lot of people in the world are dealing with their own personal hells. I have friends who are heartbroken, friends who are sick, friends who are unemployed, friends who are lonely… We survive because we have to, need to, or just reach a point where we don’t want to suffer anymore.
That’s the incredible thing about the human spirit. We can be reborn, renewed, relieved. We can start a new chapter. I’ve done it plenty of times myself.
I know someone, somewhere out there needs to hear this today. Find your warrior within and keep fighting.
Transformation
Pardon me for a moment while I explore the intricacies of my own astrological sign, Scorpio.
Books always say that I’m a sign of transformation. It’s true that during many points in my life, I’ve abruptly and without warning changed my entire lifestyle. Many people find that to be a hard pill to swallow, as change usually requires gradual transition. But for me, I’ve found myself capable of completely jumping into a new routine, as if a switch were turned on.
When the new year began, I changed. It was completely intentional. All of the things that caused me trouble in my life were gone in an instant.
I spent Dec. 31 volunteering at church to feed the homeless. Every Thursday night, a group comes in for a hot meal and a place to sleep. It was humbling to witness what life is like for them. Sure, it makes us all feel better to do these kind deeds, but this isn’t about earning a pat on the back. This is real life. This is the world we live in. It can be scary and cold, and isolating.
Often times, I feel isolated myself. Trapped in the pain and suffering of my head. I have felt so lonely at times. I have felt empty and useless, as if nothing mattered.
But it does matter. It all matters. It all counts for something, and I’ve had to step outside of myself, my own selfishness, and understand that there are bigger things in this world.
I still lack direction. I still don’t know exactly where I’m going, but I felt the healthiest thing to do was immerse myself in helping others first. This is how I’ve transformed myself, starting with baby steps.
Another effort I’ve taken on is teaching a Sunday school class for children at this same church, which is a gay-friendly church. (The pastor is a lesbian.) Religion is a deeply complex issue that I am still working out. I don’t suppose we ever truly have it figured out. But nonetheless, I enjoy spending time with the children. They are little rays of sunshine with bright eyes and big dreams about the world. Thankfully, this type of religion focuses on embracing our diversity, not spreading hate and judgment, as so many do.
This is my transformation so far. I’ve had to completely break myself down and throw away all the pieces to build a new me. The old me just wasn’t working out.
