Negative equity is becoming all too common…

A house was bought several years ago for X amount, but now the value is cut in half. There is no way the owner can sell it to pay off the loan, unless he has substantial equity already built up, so his only option is to foreclose.

The damage it does to credit scores is immense. The prospect of getting another loan of any kind is shot for years to come. But more and more homeowners are weighing the options and deciding they’d rather get out of debt.

I’ve often thought about this myself. I love my home. I know that if I foreclosed, I wouldn’t be able to buy another one any time soon. But I also know that I will never be able to sell the house for what I bought it for. So unless I intend to stay here for the rest of my 30 year loan, I’m going to lose the money. It can be today, or it can be 5 years from now. It almost seems like it would make sense to do it now so I can start re-building my future.

I don’t plan on doing anything like that right now, but I am curious to hear what other people have done. It’s a problem that isn’t going away.

What are your thoughts? Have you foreclosed on your house? Do you regret it? What influenced your decision?

… to get some help.

That’s what my best friend said to me on the phone today. I think she’s right.

I am scared… wait… petrified of being cheated on again. 2 different men cheated on me last year, and it has really broken down my sense of trust for others.

The first partner who cheated on me did it because he felt we’d lost our emotional connection after so many years together. It was painful, but in retrospect, wasn’t that shocking. I should have seen it coming. I’ve heard that cheating sometimes has nothing to do with sex at all.

The second partner cheated because I wasn’t a bottom. That really did surprise me because he knew I was a top when we got together. He didn’t indicate that he was dissatisfied with being a bottom. But I learned a lot of things about him being promiscuous after the break-up, so I guess I just have to chalk it up to him being a bad person. I wish it were more profound, but I don’t think it is. Even if I had bottomed for him, I get the impression he still likes to play games.

It will take some time to build up my trust again. I realize that anyone can cheat at any time. I could be together with someone 20 years, and things could still fall apart. I wish I had an insurance policy to avoid being cheated on, but I guess that’s just the risk we take when we date others.

All I know is that fear consumes me. I have spells where I feel unlovable. This is going to require some time and work to regain my confidence. But I really do need some help.

Admitting it is the first step.

Day 6 of the new year. No drama, no stress. Life is enjoyable.

I’ve scaled back everything and gotten back to basics. I haven’t even been online much, except for work.

One day at a time.

It just hit me… The decade is almost over.

It’s funny to say it, but I honestly didn’t realize it. With all the hustle and bustle of daily life, I was aware a new year was upon us, but just now absorbed the reality that it was the end of an era.

I remember this period vividly from 10 years ago. I know what I was doing, where I was going, and what I had planned for my future. Now I’m left reflecting on it all. Some of it good, some of it bad, such is life. But I’m stunned.

How do you feel about it? Where has life taken you now vs. where it was going when the decade began?

He knows how I like my tea in the morning. I know he can’t go to sleep without a glass of water on the nightstand.

He knows I’m impressed when he can reference every song by Mariah. I know I can win his heart every time I quote lyrics by Kylie.

He knows every spot where I’m ticklish. I know that paybacks are a bitch.

He knows he can tell me anything and I’ll listen. I know he appreciates it when I open up and tell him my secrets.

He knows I’ll write one more blog post before going out of town. I know it will be the first thing he checks for when he gets on his computer.

He knows that I love him. I know he loves me too.

And now, a word from Black Eyed Peas…

I’ve got so much love
For you darlin’
And I
I wanna let you know how I feel

And it’s true that I love you
And it’s true
You’re the only one
And I do
I adore you
And it’s true
You make me feel alive

It’s been a day of many passionate debates due to over 1,000 e-mails that were allegedly stolen from the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia. [News source: CNN]

The theory/argument is that some of the top scientists have manipulated data about global warming to make it appear more urgent. A lot of questions still remain, especially the authenticity of the leaked e-mails. But news of this has caught a lot of attention.

Global warming has always been controversial. It’s easy to look outside and notice that the seasons have been warmer than they were when I was younger. I can’t help but notice the decrease in snowfall each winter too. When I was a child, we were almost guaranteed to have a white Christmas every year. Now, it’s hit or miss, and I’ve even experienced Christmas when it was warm enough to be outside without a coat.

But other experts have pointed to a natural cycle of warming trends that happen to the planet over a period of centuries. This data shows that the seasons would gradually change anyway, regardless of human contribution.

I’m not a scientist, and I haven’t read enough to get on a soapbox with very passionate arguments either way. But I will say this…

#1 - I rarely assume that a problem only comes from one source. I’ve found that life is hardly so black and white. I do believe we should reduce pollution and be more energy efficient. I also believe there could be bad consequences if we don’t. But I don’t know if I’ve ever truly believed the planet would just explode into a big fireball someday.

#2 - I think we should always keep an open mind to all arguments that surround something so serious. People get so narrow minded and just insist on sticking to their own theories. Is there really any harm in seeing multiple sides?

#3 - We once thought the world was flat. We don’t know everything, and I’d hate it if we woke up tomorrow and had nothing new to learn. Let’s stay informed and remember that we’re all citizens of this planet, so we all need to know what’s going on with it.


Nathan & Graham

Yesterday, I turned 28. While that’s not considered any particular milestone to most people, it was of significant personal importance to me.

28 was supposed to be the age when I had everything together in my life. My perception of the world is a mix of optimism, ambition, and intense determination. When I say “this is what I’m going to do and this is how it’s going to be,” I really do everything I can to succeed.

With that in mind, life did not go as planned when I was 27. Most of you know the story, and for those who don’t, I’d be happy to tell you sometime. But the bottom line is that I was thrown a huge curve ball. I had two options:

Option #1 - Give up, admit defeat, lay down and die.
Option #2 - Rebuild everything I thought my life was and define the next chapter.

During some dark moments, Option #1 really did seem like the way to go. When the rug is pulled out from under you, it’s hard to get back up. But I did. I always do, and always will have one more fight left in me.

So as I’ve crossed over to a new age, I’ve worked to understand 28 will not be the age that I have everything together. But I’m working on it… always a work in progress. I have my goals, my plans, my hopes and dreams. I do believe everything works out in the end, and that’s the eternal optimist in me.

While I work to achieve it, I know I have a great group of family and friends that love me. That helps a lot. I went out last night and had a great time. It was a fun birthday and I’m happy to have a new man by my side to help me celebrate it.

Graham and I love the photo at the top of this post. It was taken last night and it’s our favorite one. It’s silly and unusual… well, it’s us.

28 may not be what I thought it would be, but I have a feeling it’s going to be even better!

I’m really surprised that a lot of stores still use plastic bags. Not only that, but their employees don’t seem to be properly trained in reducing the number of bags they use. At some stores, they just put one or two items in each bag. I think they should try to utilize the space and fit as much as they safely can in one bag before they start on the next.

One thing I’ve tried to do to remedy this situation is bringing my own reusable bags into stores. It felt funny at first, carrying a Publix or Kroger bag into a place like Walgreens. But it always impresses the person working at the register. Actually, they’ve thanked me for doing it.

The bags are bigger, sturdier, and much easier to pack. Plus, the obvious benefit is that I’m not using plastic. People behind me notice, and I’d like to think that my actions will inspire at least one person to do what I do.

So if you want to do something friendly for the earth, pick up some reusable bags at your grocery store. They’re usually just $1 each. I always keep mine in my car so I can use them at other places too.

What a great week I have ahead!

The sun is really going to have to work hard to outshine me because I’m in a great mood all the way around. I have something fun planned for every night of the week, leading up to my birthday on Friday. Good friends, good times, and a good new man in my life.

Oh, and then the week after that is Thanksgiving. I’ll be seeing my family and meeting up with a friend I haven’t seen since 2000! Then we get into the holiday season. I’m looking forward to starting new traditions and rediscovering the season.

Life is great. I’m going to enjoy every day left in this year and I’m ready for an exciting 2010!