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Petey recently celebrated his 3rd birthday. He got to go to PetSmart and pick out a new rubber toy. (Hey, what boy doesn’t want a new rubber toy on his big day?) Afterwards, Rodney thought it would be funny to put a hat on Petey and take pictures. Something tells me Petey didn’t agree that it was funny. If he could speak, I have a feeling he would be saying “Somebody call PETA!!!” But he can’t talk. So he wore the hat and we took pictures. Happy Birthday.
I have to give Paris Hilton credit for this wonderfully sarcastic jab at John McCain. In response to McCain’s recent ad campaign, which compares Obama’s celebrity status to Hilton’s, this is what she had to say in this mock commercial:
Cloverfield, is that you?
It all started when this mysterious beast washed up on the shores of Montauk, NY. On Tuesday, a photo of it was posted on Gawker.com With its unusual beak and sharp teeth, rumors quickly spread that it was a “monster”. Was it some kind of turtle without a shell, a dog with a decomposed snout, a pig? WTF? The mystery continued to unfold, and since the exact whereabouts of the body are unknown, people decided it was all a hoax… That is until witnesses started coming forward claiming they too had seen the body on the beach. Now new photos have surfaced, taken by a different person. In these shots, it just kind of looks like a dog. Not nearly as interesting as a monster, I know. And the “beak” was actually just the bone of the nose, taken at a strange angle.
I actually have a theory of my own. It’s a creature sent by God to punish us all for trying to legalize gay marriage. The Bible thumpers always warned us that bad things would happen if queers started getting married. Too bad God forget to make the creature water proof. But hey, the universe wasn’t created in a day. Sending a creature to punish us all for gay marriage might take a few prototypes to get it right. When we get a popcorn kernel stuck in our teeth, why do we fish it out with our tongue and then eat it again? Don’t we learn our lesson the first time?
But when I got a look at the jar, I couldn’t help noticing the label said www. amishjam.com (yes, there was a space in the address, for no apparent reason). That seemed odd. I thought the Amish rejected modern life. Why would they have a website? So I took a look at amishjam.com. Of course the design was horrible. I already expected that. But the real surprise was that they offered online shopping, credit card processing, and shipping. Hmm, I just dunno about this. Today, the Amish are just innocently selling their products online, making a little extra money for the farm. But you know there’s that one guy who will get the nerve to search for porn and then the whole village is corrupted. (If I were Amish, you all know I’d be that guy!)
Bedjump.com is a whole site dedicated to photos of people (mostly adults) jumping on beds in their hotel rooms. When I was a kid, I always loved jumping on the beds in hotel rooms. There was nothing more fun than leaping from one bed to the other. My parents got so mad when I did that.
[Site found through Riverwolf]
Where do we even begin, boys? The mullet? The bed sheets? The owl on the nightstand? The 19th century lamp right next to the big 1980s lamp? The overly confident pointing to his flaccid penis? No, it’s none of the above. The thing that bothers me most about this picture is a detail that only a graphic designer would notice. Do you see those little bits of grain and specs on the photo? That’s noise from a scanner. This man took the photo with a 35mm camera, had it developed somewhere, and then scanned it into his computer. Oh, to be the guy working in the photo lab that day.
Tonight I saw a commercial for a vibrator on national television. It’s called the Neutrogena Wave. And who was the spokesperson? None other than Vanessa Hudgens, the controversial star of High School Musical, whose nude photos were leaked last year. You can’t make this shit up! So the vibrator, I mean “cleanser”, is supposedly intended for refreshing your face with gentle vibration. But I suspect this tiny device will soon become every woman’s replacement for the “neck massager” she keeps in her nightstand. I love it! Hilarious! Brilliant! Buzz-tastic! Here’s the commercial:
I’d love to eavesdrop on the conversations going on in the White House… Hey, what if we started putting pressure on the auto industry to produce more models that got 40MPG or more on them? Nah, that would be too hard. It would require communication. We don’t like that. Hey, what about improving our relationships with foreign countries so they could help us with oil? Nah, that would be too hard. It would require friendliness and negotiation. We just like blowing shit up and killing people. Hey, what about drilling more holes in a planet that is already unstable? Yes! Now that’s an idea I can support!
Well today, the gazebo was on clearance at 50% off, and there was only one left. Why is summer stuff already on clearance? I suppose they will be selling Halloween decorations next week, but I digress… Since the item was on clearance, Target wouldn’t hold it for me. So I called Rodney at home and had him hurry over so he could help me with it. While I was waiting, I had to stand guard over the last box. Women were circling around me like hungry buzzards. I was fighting off bitches left and right. It’s my gazebo, damn it. Mine!!! I shot them all frosty stares that said “Walk on, lady, walk on…” Fast forward to this evening, when Rodney and I got started putting it together in the backyard. The box says it takes “less than 1.5 hours to assemble”. Liars! 4 hours later, it still wasn’t finished. We had everything on it, all except for the little pointy roof at the top. The directions were really detailed in the beginning. Step by step, and very illustrated. I guess they got bored or tired, because at the end, they just skim through the final steps and we don’t even understand how to get that damn thing on top of it. So right now, we just have a gaping hole in the roof. Rodney calls it a skylight. Indeed. My best guess is that I’m going to have to borrow a step ladder from a neighbor and toss the small pointy roof over it, hoping it lands in the center. There you have it. I really just went to the store for some milk.  ©2005-2008 Nathan Exposed . All Rights Reserved Meet the Cast
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On a recent visit to Illinois, Rodney bought some Amish jam that was being sold. I wasn’t with him, so I didn’t get to see the set-up.
Oh, this is too good to be true! A marketing idea like this just comes along once in a lifetime.
What started as a quick trip to Target to pick up a few things turned into an all-day adventure. Rodney’s had his eye on this gazebo in the Lawn & Garden section all summer. It’s a very nice item, a full 10 ft. wide and 10 ft. high structure that also comes with mosquito netting to keep out bugs.
