I read a lot of sites that drag out the bad news about gas prices as much as possible. You know the media… let’s milk a situation for everything we can so people are ready to kill themselves. I’ll never understand the sick fetish with making people as depressed as possible when they hear the news.
I believe in being optimistic in every situation. There is always a way to improve a matter if you just put your best foot forward and give some thought to finding a solution. Let’s take a look at the topic…
The Root of the Problem
We’ve set ourselves up to be dependent on other countries to provide our resources, and now we’re at their mercy. On that note, let’s do a survey on where our fuel comes from. “Somewhere far away” does not count as a valid answer.
Yes, the price of gas is high. But for every problem in history, a solution is found and people become stronger and smarter as a result. Our country has to find a way to get through this, and we will. I promise.
A Need for Change
In some crazy way, this is a good thing. High gas prices will apply the needed pressure to find alternatives. It will also force the automobile industry to stop selling gas guzzlers. There is no excuse for people to think a car that gets 30 miles per gallon is a good thing. Are you kidding me? Cars in other countries get much better mileage than that.
And consumers need to make better choices too. I can’t tell you how many friends we have that buy big SUV’s because they “need the extra room for their dog”. Honey, please. Unless you take your dog out with you every single day, it is not a necessity. Dogs will fit just fine in the back seat. If there isn’t enough room, they’ll make room. Dogs are limber.
As for kids… I grew up with two older brothers and when we went out with the family, the three of us were packed together in the backseat of a car. We never had an SUV. Yes, it was a bit tight. Yes, we felt a bit cranky. But we survived and there was no long term damage. The point is, you don’t need a bus to drive your kids around.
Better Options for Employees
I know what it’s like to drive 45 minutes to work every day. The people out there with long commutes are suffering, and I get that. But again, this is probably an opportunity for improvement. Some jobs can be done from home. I’ve heard that a lot of companies are looking into 4 day work weeks instead of 5.
In addition to saving on gas, this is a wise decision anyway. I’ve been preaching that for years now. Many people work better when their work schedule is condensed down to more concentrated periods. How many people out there slack off a little during the week and save some tasks for Friday, just because they don’t matter? Wouldn’t you work better and more efficiently to get them done on Thursday if you knew you’d have Friday off?
Work should not rule our lives. We spend most of our time on this earth working, and you can’t take that money to your grave with you. I think it’s a better idea to have longer weekends so you can spend more time enjoying life, and also cut down on driving. I also think people will be better employees when work is condensed down, so it’s a win-win for everyone who has that option.
Optimism Goes Far
I know it’s easy to be upset about these things, but optimists always find a solution. If gas prices are bothering you, take the optimist path rather than the pessimist path. There is a good chance you’ll find a way to help with your gas expenses. Most likely, whatever you come up with will make your life better for the long haul.
I’m not denying that the price of gas is high. That’s just a matter of fact. Anyone can do the math. I’m just saying that attitude makes a difference with every problem. 
Last fall, I mentioned a book called The Four Agreements, but I never followed up to say how it turned out. I think it’s a really great book, very inspiring. I didn’t agree with the author’s perspective 100%, but I think it’s worth a read.
Here is a particular passage that really touched me…
—-
“My teacher opened his chest and took out his heart, and he took a beautiful flame from his heart. Then he opened up my chest, opened my heart, and he put that little flame inside it. He put my heart back in my chest, and as soon as my heart was inside me, I felt intense love, because the flame he put in my heart was his own love.
That flame grew in my heart and became a big, big fire - a fire that doesn’t burn, but purifies everything that it touches. And that fire touched each one of the cells of my body, and the cells of my body loved me back. I became one with my body, but my love grew even more. That fire touched every emotion of my mind, and all the emotions transformed into a strong and intense love. And I loved myself, completely and unconditionally.
But the fire kept burning and I had the need to share my love… [I’m skipping some paragraphs]
… And I put a little piece of my love in every human and I became one with the whole of humanity. Wherever I go, whomever I meet, I see myself in their eyes, because I am part of everything, because I love.”
Yesterday marked 1 year since I officially started working for myself after quitting my job. The goal was simple: Embark on my own journey as a website designer, work from home, and live a stress free life.
Today I pulled up an ambitious calendar I’d planned for myself over 12 months ago. I’ve completely lost my way from this plan, and maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I had it right in the beginning:
MONDAY:
Networking (Basically this means spend time talking to potential clients)
Exercise
Meditate
Yoga
TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY:
Design Work for Clients
Friday:
Exercise
Meditate
—-
What a brilliant plan. Only 3 full days of work, and a little networking on Monday. The other 2 days involved self improvement and rejuvenation. Saturday and Sunday weren’t even on the calendar, because I wanted those to be spontaneous.
How did I go wrong? I planned this out perfectly so that I could make a reasonable amount of income by just working this easy schedule. I wouldn’t be filthy rich, but that’s okay. I would be happy, and that was my whole reason for quitting my job in the first place.
But my real schedule is quite different from this one I planned. I work every day. I enjoy the work, I like the clients… but come on… I can’t go one day without thinking about my projects or checking my e-mail. The silly part is that most people aren’t even in a rush. If I didn’t check my e-mail one day, nobody would even notice or care. So why do I push myself?
Now that I’ve come full circle and survived the first year, I’m going to re-consider trying this plan I originally set for myself. I believe it can be done. Anything can be done if you put your mind to it!
I might have to stray just a little bit. I might have to respond to a few e-mails on a Friday, or do a little light work on a Monday. But that’s okay. I still think I should re-consider living life by the plan I set for myself. I should exercise, meditate, read more books. I should relax.
We’re responsible for our own futures. Nobody else can be blamed if life doesn’t turn out the way we planned. Don’t get me wrong… I’m very happy. But when I look at this schedule… that’s a pretty sweet life, you have to admit.
I can do it, I will.
That’s a hard question to ask. But even harder is anticipating the sting that might come with the answers.
A wise business man once said in one of his lectures that you should ask everyone you work with, “What can I do better?”. If you want to take it a step further, you can even ask your significant other, your family, your friends.
I’ve never actually done it, because I would be way too sensitive to take the heat if someone actually said something that struck a nerve with me.
But today, I decided to step outside of my safe and secure box.
There was a potential client that I’d been communicating with, and things were going well. It seemed promising, and I did believe he would be hiring me to design his website. I’d provided good customer service, which he acknowledged. I’d presented a strong portfolio, which he acknowledged. And the budget he’d set for this project was reasonable and workable for what he wanted to accomplish. All signs point to “yes”, don’t they?
That’s what I found out they decided to hire a different designer.
My first instinct was to write them a friendly e-mail, thanking them for their time and consideration and wishing them well. I try to always do that, because I want to leave people with a positive impression, even if they didn’t decide to do business with me.
So I wrote them a friendly e-mail, but I added an additional paragraph that said:
“I’m always open to feedback so that I may improve my business. If you don’t mind, please let me know if there is anything about my process that I could do differently or better. If there is anything specific that influenced your decision, please let me know so that I can provide better service in the future.”
As soon as I sent that off, I dreaded the response. Did I really need to know these answers? Couldn’t I just leave things as they were, with a friendly goodbye and then be on my way?
The response arrived, and I held my breath as I opened it. There was nothing wrong with my process, or my service. They chose to go with a designer that was an acquaintance, and they felt obligated to hire this person instead of an outside source.
I felt relieved, and also proud that I’d went out on a limb to ask something I didn’t really want to know.
Maybe that millionaire business guru was right… ask people “What can I do better?”
I’ll try… I promise I will.
I enjoy it when I find a simple life lesson hidden in a common place, so please indulge me as I start to sound like Mike Brady from The Brady Bunch.
This past weekend, one of our nephews and his girlfriend visited us to celebrate Rodney’s upcoming birthday. We had the spontaneous idea to play the card game Uno… and I love spontaneous card games, by the way.
We decided to play to 500 points, so we did, and I lost each time. I’m not very good at card games, and I had a lot of questions because it had been awhile since I played this particular game.
Rodney did end up in the lead. He always wins games, just so you know. He’s a good sport too. He never brags or takes it too seriously. I think it takes the fun out of things when people go overboard, so it’s nice that both Rodney and I are casual. He doesn’t get too wrapped up in winning, and I don’t get too wrapped up in losing.
So yes, Rodney was ahead, followed by our nephew and his girlfriend, and then I was in last place.
But as it turned out, my luck took a sudden twist, and I won 5 games simultaneously, coming in at 1st place. It’s worth noting that I never win games… in fact, I can’t remember a time in my life, even as a child, when I won a card game or even board game.
So the moral of this little story was that it does not matter how far behind you feel, you can always come out ahead, even when the odds are against you. I think we just have to keep playing with the cards that we are dealt, because change might be just around the corner.
This lesson extends far beyond Uno, and pours over into the game of life too.
Today, as we honor Martin Luther King Jr., keep in mind that it only takes one person to change the world. If you ever feel like you want to achieve something, but fear you don’t have enough strength to do it on your own, just remember that you do. All it takes is one voice to spread a message, and before you know it, you can have millions of voices repeating your words.
Happy New Year to everyone! I hope 2008 is off to a great start for you.
Historically, people always look to the new year as a way to start out fresh. We can really start over anytime we want, but using a new calendar year is the most popular choice.
I think there’s a universal belief that new year’s resolutions are broken by the middle of January. Many people world wide start out with your run of the mill list: Eat better, exercise, get more sleep, spend more time with family and friends, find a better job, be happier… you know the drill.
In 2007, I accomplished all of the above. So even though people think of these as nice goals to have, but unrealistic or unattainable, I’m here to tell you that they are all possible. I was cut from the same cloth as everyone else, so if I can do it, I know others can.
Here’s a resolution I hope you’ll keep —- make 2008 the year of you! It’s not selfish, it’s not greedy, and let me tell you why…
If you look at the list above, all of those things center around YOU. Whether it’s how you live, how you work, or how you feel. It’s human nature to want to take care of yourself, but as adults we somehow develop a complex in which we feel ashamed to put ourselves first.
Don’t feel that way.
You have a responsibility to love yourself first. You’re already half-way there by making those resolutions. It’s your subconscious self crying out for some care. Take the next step and make yourself fully aware of your needs and your goals.
Love yourself first. That’s my resolution for all of us to work on. I see a lot of you out there not doing it right now.
I hope 2008 is your best year yet!
Sometimes I do more listening than talking. When I go to a social gathering, I remain quiet and study the other people in the room. I pay attention to their mannerisms, their words, their stories. If you want to know if someone is happy, all you have to do is listen to them talk. The longer they talk, the more they confess. You could be a total stranger, and they’ll tell you all about their failing marriage, their stressful job, or the oceans of debt they’re drowning in.
Right now, as we’re right in the middle of the holiday season, we get to escape to a fun filled land of love and cheer. It’s the one time of the year when everywhere we go, we are barraged with symbols of hope and peace… and happiness. If only every day could be like Christmas.
But soon the New Year will be upon us. We’ll be faced with the dark uncertainty of January. I’ve always dreaded that month. It starts out with such optimism. You make your resolutions, your promises to change. Two weeks into it and you’re back to your old habits, it’s cold out, the sun goes down at about 4PM, and there is just a sense of dullness in the air. Well, at least that’s how I feel about it.
The good news, however, is that 2007 has been a remarkable year for me. I’ve actually exceeded most of my resolutions that I made at the start of the year. I quit my miserable day job, I started working for myself, I strengthened my relationship with Rodney, I improved things with my family, and I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. I have to give myself a little pat on the back for a job well done.
So when 2008 comes, I will embrace it with open arms. I’m actually kind of excited about the possibilities as I ponder the new resolutions I will make for the coming year. Yes, I’ve accomplished plenty. But we must always move forward with new goals. How else will we grow?
And for you other bloggers out there… I’ve been observing you. I’ve been listening to your story even if I’ve remained silent. I’ve witnessed your ups and downs, your accomplishments and failures.
Some of you choose to look on the bright side, and see life for all the wonderful things it offers. Other continued to wallow in self pity. You change lovers, change jobs, change locations, and you’re still just as unhappy as you were at this time last year.
So I ask all of you, bloggers and readers alike… Are you where you want to be? If you aren’t, why not? Will your friends and family be subjected to another year of your pity party, or will you take the bull by the horns and choose to have a happier life? Remember that happiness is only what you perceive it to be, nothing more and nothing less. It’s a choice, a mindset, an opinion.
It’s sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but only we can make ourselves happy. We can’t blame anyone or anything else. The paths we take are with our own free will. I doubt anyone held a gun to your head when you got onto that rocky road. But if you have had a gun held to your head, please accept my sincerest apologies.
I hope your new year is filled with more happiness than you could ever dream of.
I wonder what it is about the human mind that always wonders over to the dark side? You can encounter 10 nice people when you start your day. Somebody says “Good morning”, another person holds the door open for you. All it takes is one rude person, and your whole day is ruined.
That’s how life is. I try to believe that the world is made up of mostly good, kind people. But all it takes is one nasty person to ruin your whole outlook. When that happens, I just feel like throwing in the towel.
I started working for myself in March of this year. I had the most amazingly consistent run of good clients. From March through this fall, it was one good person after the other. But lately, I’ve been on a negative streak.
I don’t know what happened. It just seems like lately I encounter the angriest, cruelest people you could imagine. They have all this baggage and rage, and I guess they think a website designer can heal them? I have no idea.
They love the work, but they don’t want to pay for it. They’ve had a bad experience with a designer in the past, and now I’m going to pay for all their sins, and they even want a discount because the last designer ran off with all their money. Their Father didn’t give them enough hugs when they were children, and now it’s all my fault.
It’s crazy. These people should be committed to an institution. I try not to focus on the negative, but when I tell Rodney about the people I deal with, his mouth is just hanging open in shock.
I am a designer, I make your website look pretty. I cannot take away all the pain in the world, and I do not want to hear about your messy personal problems. It only makes my job harder.
But that’s my challenge. We are faced with challenges every day. We have to try and find the good in every situation. We have to forgive and accept that people don’t really mean the things they say and do to us. Even more difficult, we have to maintain the courage to treat every person with a clean slate.
When I’ve just finished dealing with one nut job on the phone, I still have to turn around and be nice to the next person I talk to, because they don’t know what just happened and they deserve to see the best of me.
The best of me. That’s what I have to be. Every day.
Get your boots out, this shit is gonna get deep. 
A friend of mine was recently telling me about a book called The Four Agreements, and explaining the complex nature of the human mind. According to this way of thinking, our life is one continuous story. We are the narrator. Everyone else around us is a character in the sub-plot.
Everything that we learn is something that is absorbed. Right and wrong, good and bad. We all start out with a clean slate, and then the influences around us shape our way of thinking. They teach us to judge everything by their standards, and then we become clones of them, generation after generation.
Nothing is literal. My perception of reality is different than yours, and so we’re all floating in our own dream-like existence. If we’re fortunate, our stories will cross paths and you will become a sub-plot of my world, and I will become a part of yours.
The Four Agreements are a basic set of rules to achieving inner peace with the world around us. They mostly deal with the negative things, which bring us down in life. The agreements are as follows:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
These are all good points, but #2 and 3 are the ones that hit home with me.
I take a lot of things personally. I’m a very sensitive person, and over time, I’ve learned to embrace my sensitivity rather than trying to deny it. The world needs more sensitive people in it, not less.
Emotion is a natural thing. Only a robot wouldn’t take things personally. But still, I do see the wisdom in trying to drown out other people’s actions and only focusing on my own. I will never be responsible for what other people say or do, but I am responsible for how I respond to it.
The point about assumptions is also valid. So many silly wars have started, all because of mis-communication. Sometimes it’s really hard to ask questions and talk about things. But I do think that conversation is the path to peace. As long as we can talk, we can find common ground. It’s when we stop talking that we lose our power.
I logged onto eBay last night and picked up a copy of this book. The overview of it alone is inspiring to me, I can’t wait to read the full book. Apparently it’s been a bestseller for years. I don’t read many books, so that would explain why I didn’t know about it.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
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