There is always a smile waiting for me at Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures. Here are just a few of my recent favorites:

Every relationship has a list of deal breakers… a specific set of do’s and don’t’s that are grounds for an immediate ending.

Last week, Rodney broke one of our deals and it was a big one in my book. So I ended things.

I asked Rodney to go stay with some friends so I’d have time to breathe and process what I was feeling. The next day, I went to my parents’ house here in Illinois so I could get some needed support.

Rodney has asked me to go to counseling with him and I’ve agreed to it. Actually, I’m kind of looking forward to it.

I need to find out what caused this to happen. I also need to find out how to work through this pain. I think this counseling is going to be good all the way around.

The future is uncertain… but isn’t it always? Perhaps we will be able to work this out and be a stronger, happier couple. Or maybe I’ll just never be able to forgive him. If that happens, at least I can say we both tried to fix it.

8 years is a long time to be with someone. It’s worth trying for. I’m just going to take this one day at a time and try to deal with everything with a level head.

Thank you so much for your continued support while I deal with this. It means so much to me and really lifts my spirits!

I will be back in Tennessee on Sunday night and will be seeing Rodney for the first time since it happened. We’re going to do some talking and go from there.

After 8 years, Rodney and I are no longer together. It’s been a wild 24 hours, full of mixed emotions and mood swings. I have a lot to say about it, and over time, I probably will. But right now, it just feels too fragile and too close to the surface to talk about. It also seems disrespectful somehow, so I will keep the details private for now.

Many of you have supported us over the years, offered comfort when we needed it, offered joy when we celebrated a milestone. I really appreciate the support we receive from people I’ve never even had the pleasure of meeting face to face. Thank you for that.

The context and dialog of this site will undoubtedly be changing as I start a new life. I have no idea what the future will bring. There are many open questions to be answered in our lives. No matter what though, and no matter how much it hurts right now, I know that I’ll be okay.

I’m going to Illinois this weekend, so I will be out of pocket for a few days. But I just wanted to put this out there. Talking on my blog is therapeutic, it helps me get things off my chest. So that’s the news.

It’s 3AM and I’ve finally convinced Rodney to stay up with me.

I’ve always been a nocturnal person. Even when I was a kid, I would adjust to an evening schedule during the summer when I was out of school. My parents always hated it. They would say “But Nathan, you should get your sleep.” I would try to explain, in the best way a child could, that it makes no difference what time you go to bed as long as you get your rest. Even to this day, they make a big deal about it, and I have no idea why. I get the same amount of sleep as everyone else, just at a different time. Oh, well.

One thing I’ve often wondered is whether or not my schedule is internal, or if it is affected by light. Let’s say I went to a different country where my sleeping patterns aligned with their time zone. For example, I usually go to bed at 6AM here. So what if I went somewhere that would make it 10PM when I went to bed? Would I just stick to my regular schedule, or would I once again re-adjust my sleeping patterns to go to bed when it’s 6AM there? I hope that makes sense. It does in my head.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to convince Rodney to stay up with me, and he wouldn’t go for it. He likes to be an early riser. But I’ve finally convinced him, and little by little, he’s been doing it. Tonight, he proudly announced he was going all the way and staying up until 6AM.

He also admitted that it’s really nice being up late. The world is so quiet and peaceful. You get a lot of work done at night. I would say that everybody should try it, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn’t it?

Speaking of nocturnal, we just finished watching Twilight for the second time. I love that movie. I can’t put my finger on why. On the outside, it’s just another vampire themed movie, this time geared at younger audiences. But there’s something so dark and romantic about it. I think everybody loves a good vampire story because of the symbolism behind it. The ability to live forever. The mystery of hiding your true identity. And as with all vampire movies, there is the tragic love story between mortal and immortal.

And besides, I think Robert Pattinson is just dreamy. :)

A hot, wet appetizer…

Then right to the main course…

It’s taken a long time, but Google Maps has finally begun working on coverage of the little Illinois town I grew up in. Sure, it’s blurry, low-resolution, and oddly angled. But there’s something deeply sentimental about the ability to walk the streets of your childhood from the privacy of your computer.

I came across a photo of my Grandma G’s house and it struck a sensitive nerve with me. I never drive by there, it’s just too much. And the new owners have really let it fall apart, which is all the more upsetting. But seeing it there on Google really took me back. I could smell the flowers in summertime and the fresh cut grass when my Dad took me over so he could mow her lawn.

It’s one of those memories we can never get back. She would have been 78 last Wednesday. Now thanks to Google, I can still visit her house any time I want.

The more I ponder this, the deeper it gets.

    “Every decision you make - every decision - is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.”
    —Neale Donald Walsch

They call this “physical therapy.” I don’t know much about all that. But I do know this is the fastest way to pump a fart out of a guy. Just sayin’.