When I came out in 1997, there was no debate over gay marriage because America didn’t think it was a debate worth having.

In 12 years, we’ve come so far. We’ve fought for our rights, town by town, state by state. In many states, we’ve lost. But there is light at the end of the tunnel because America finally understands it’s a debate worth having. It’s a good thing.

I know that may sound hard to believe. You might be asking, “But Nathan, how is that a good thing?”

As the saying goes, the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. America is no longer indifferent to our right to equality. Love us or hate us, take us or leave us, the flood gates are open and we will no longer be ignored.

I think it’s important to say this because I sometimes come across websites where gay people say that we’re not getting anywhere. They are angry and frustrated and feel like we’re losing our fight for equality.

But don’t give up. You can’t give up. When I compare my life now to the way it was 12 years ago, I know things are getting better. It’s easier to come out now than it was then. It’s better than it was 20 years ago, 50 years ago. So don’t give up.

We will get there. Just yesterday, our new President Obama included us in his agenda for LGBT rights. He didn’t include gay marriage, as we wish he would. But hey, it’s a great start. When has any U.S. President ever devoted a section of his website to supporting us?

So when you’re feeling down, feeling that things will never get better for the gay community, just take a look at our past to see how far we’ve come. We’ll go even further in the future.

Today I was able to hold my boyfriend’s hand and even rest my head on his legs in public, without getting bashed or anything, now, if that isn’t a progress I don’t know what it is; I’m pretty sure people couldn’t do that ten or twenty years ago.