Nathan Exposed » Would You “Choose” To Be Gay?

Would You “Choose” To Be Gay?

I often hear gay men say if they had a choice, they wouldn’t be gay. When I ask them to explain, they say “Who would want to be born an outcast when you could be born to have a normal life?”

If I had a choice, I would still choose to be gay. Yep, I said it. And I have never heard another gay man say that.

I love being gay. The man-to-man connection. I love every part of a man. Physical, emotional, mental… men are just different, and it’s a difference I enjoy.

And being gay provides a sexual versatility that only two men can experience. Can a man and a woman experience what it’s like to be both the penetrative and receptive partner? No. Can two women experience it? No. It’s something special only two men can have where they truly get equal opportunities for the exact same pleasures.

I’m certainly not downplaying the special bond heterosexual couples or lesbians have. They obviously have their own their own pleasures and they’re entitled to them.

I’m just saying for me personally, there’s nothing I’d rather be than gay. No matter what challenges or homophobia I have experienced in my life, I would never trade them to be a different person. I am truly and undoubtedly comfortable in my own skin as a gay man.

So I’m curious about my readers. If you could choose your sexuality, would you still be gay?

Fri, Jul 25, 2008 @ 2:17 am | Filed in Gay | Permalink

12 Comments

I’d go gay again………. You get a thicker skin in your twenties and thirties so the homophobia stuff becomes less tiresome. Plus you sometimes get to sit on monster cock, I wouldn’t trade that for all the beer in the world.

Posted by tom on Fri, Jul 25, 2008 @ 4:21 am

Hmmm… interesting question, especially from someone like me who has lived both worlds, and wasn’t “born” gay. When I was straight and with my girlfriend of 13 years, I loved everything about being straight… but I hated the bars and clubs. Most straight bars and clubs tend to feel much more of a meat market, and it’s uncomfortable being amidst that. Also, PDA is much more prevalent in straight society and I deplore that. The relationship itself was great… and not having to “explain” who she was when meeting people and/or relatives made life so much easier. And there was never any questions of acceptance.

When I decided to be gay (yes, it was a decision for me), my whole world flipped and I saw it in a totally different light. I loved (and still love) the gay world and almost all aspects of it. I love the freedom that we as gay men have from traditional male stereotypes. I love that every day is almost a celebration of being who you are. I love the fluidity of liberal thought and ability to change the rules with each relationship. There aren’t set roles of who is what in gay relationships and that freedom is often taken for granted. And I love the strength and power in a masculine relationship (although the compassion and different chemistry of hetero relationships isn’t anything to sneeze at either).

But what I don’t like about being gay is the often defensive pose we have to assume just because of who we are. There’s often some sort of apprehension or trepidation that comes with having to explain why I am not married or don’t have a girlfriend. And when I have a boyfriend and people ask if he’s my friend, there’s a sort of unease that sneaks in, regardless how comfortable or secure I am as who I am.

And since we, as gay men, are often on the firing line when it comes to political platforms (and sometimes, foreign affairs), there’s a sense of disrespect that exists socio-politically on many levels.

Being that I still can choose to be hetero if I want to (yes, I know, it’s hard to believe… please drop it), I still enjoy being gay 1,000 times more. The exuberance of life and the feeling of being alive and not constrained by gender roles and tradition is a feeling and a state of mind that I’d never trade in a million years.

Posted by Rey Rey on Fri, Jul 25, 2008 @ 9:57 am

You know, Nathan, I’ve heard people say this before as well. And I always think, “Yes, I would.” I love my life. Period. That’s the end of it.

Posted by Lewis on Sat, Jul 26, 2008 @ 8:04 pm

A long time ago, I would’ve said “no.” But then I got a life. So “yes, yes, absolutely yes!” I would definitely choose to be gay.

Posted by Riverwolf on Sun, Jul 27, 2008 @ 7:20 am

I have been reading your blog and following your stories for about a year now and I believe that this is the first time I have felt the urge to comment.

I guess that I never really knew what I would prefer to be growing up. Of course there was that period when I just wanted to be like everyone else and have a girlfriend. Now, I know that I only want to be with a man. There is so much more that a man can do for me that women simply can’t. I am happy being the way I am, it’s just getting the rest of the world to think that way and I will be truly happy.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories. I will continue reading loyally. All the best.

Posted by JM on Sun, Jul 27, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

I don’t think I would change. I like dick way too much.

Way.

Posted by Daniel on Sun, Jul 27, 2008 @ 4:13 pm

The question doesn’t apply to me, but the photo sure is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by irisgirl on Mon, Jul 28, 2008 @ 8:18 am

I’m staying right where I am! I just wished I realised who I was, wanted and needed to be a lot sooner in life. I have decided, I am and will continue to be gay. The predisposition was there but the choice to embrace it needed to be made. As it stands I didn’t choose to be gay but if I had to choose I would say bring on the men and there’s not enough space here to explain why. Men just work for me!

Posted by Tony on Mon, Jul 28, 2008 @ 5:29 pm

since i’ve only ever known “gay”, i can’t imagine what it is like to be straight. so i’d pic gay.

Posted by kyle on Wed, Jul 30, 2008 @ 7:26 pm

I’m 41 and have subscribed to my gayness since I was six years old. Yup! I had a crush on this super sexy boy in kindergarten and all through high school. I also enjoy straight sex, but don’t explore it as much as I used to. I don’t consider myself “BI”, I am just more overtly open minded about “pleasures” of the flesh than most I’ve ever talked to. Would I be gay? Absolutely, no doubt. Its awesome in so many ways. It satisfies my being and none of the detractors can take that away from me. I’ve heard guys answer NO to this question before and it begged the question “Then why are you gay now?”. But all people have their individual motives and experiences from which to draw.

Posted by Patrick in Phoenix on Sat, Aug 2, 2008 @ 1:51 pm

I totally agree. There are so many beautiful men in the world, and if I wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate them, and that would be a crying shame.

Posted by stuartsez on Tue, Aug 5, 2008 @ 6:57 pm

If I were not gay I wouldn’t be me. I love men and maleness far too much to want to be different - and I have never met a gay man who wants to be straight.

Posted by Steve on Sun, Aug 10, 2008 @ 4:25 am