Attention Target Shoppers:
Get off your damn cell phone and trim your nails, please.
A weekend trip to Target proved to be eventful. Let’s start with the Highlights Sisters— 3 girls, all dark haired with the top of their heads looking like they had been dipped in a bowl of vanilla ice cream.
I was enjoying a leisurely session of browsing the latest books when the aisle was overtaken by the Highlights Sisters, all 3 yacking and texting away on their cell phones.
This trend simply has to be end. I don’t mind people having the occasional conversation on their phone. But the people who are completely oblivious to others around them should be put on a boat and sent out to sea. I wonder how long it would take them to disconnect from their phone and realize what happened to them?
I tried moving over to the music section, then DVD’s. Everywhere I went, it was just a matter of time before these 3 stooges ran people out of the aisles. They had no carts, no items… I honestly think they just wondered into Target to have phone conversations.
I finally gave up and went to find Rodney. Once we were ready to leave, we walked down the main aisle that goes all the way through the store. One of the sisters was stopped right there in the middle, one hand on her hip and the other pressed to her phone. Customers were weaving left and right to get around her.
Cat Man
When we got to the checkout, we were greeted by an 8 foot tall man. (Okay, maybe he wasn’t really 8 feet, I was never good at math.) I have sympathy for people this tall. Everyone in the room notices you, and they’re all uncomfortable because your crotch is at eye level. Not to mention the fact that you have to crouch to enter a room and ceiling fans are your enemy.
But Rodney and I were both distracted from his height as we zeroed in on his cat nails. They were freakishly long, and had been filed down at the ends to look sharp and pointy.
Sometimes we all get a little lazy and don’t trim our nails. But this was more than just a lazy fluke. His nails were manicured and shaped to look like long girly weapons. The odd part was that he was very masculine. Not the type of guy you expect to have cat claws.
Now let me stop right there. I know you’re probably thinking how bad could they be? But really, you would have to see these to believe them. This tall glass of water was ready to scratch someone’s eyes out.
So that was our trip to Target. And people wonder why I never leave the house. 
You should have gone to Wal Mart for the entertainment of the year award.
Posted on Mon, May 19, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
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