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An 11-year-old girl in Wisconsin (pictured to the right) was suffering from a treatable form of diabetes. But her uber-religious parents refused to take her to a doctor because they believed they could pray her illness away. They also believed that illness is God’s punishment for sin. She was freakin’ 11 years old! How sinful could she possibly be? Did she not share her crayons in school? Ironically enough, she died on Easter Sunday. How weird is that? Low insulin. I feel so bad for her. I know diabetics, it’s not a walk in the park. I can’t believe this little girl was told by her parents that she was possessed by sin and had to suffer to death… literally suffer to death. I do consider myself to be spiritual, and I do believe that humans can be healed. But this is downright crazy. I would never prevent anyone, child or adult, from receiving medical attention simply because it conflicted with my “religious” beliefs. Her parents have been charged with murder and are going to jail. Good! Let’s see them pray their way out of that one.
Today was the fifth anniversary of Apple’s iTunes Store. I was browsing their year-by-year summary of the most popular songs sold from 2003-2008, when I unexpectedly got flooded with emotions from the past. For most people, music is the soundtrack of our lives. It evokes feelings, moods, memories. Whether good or bad, we use songs to remind us of an old friend, a lost love, a parent or sibling. Something as simple as a melody can take us back years, even decades, to a different place in our lives. The page about 2003 reminded me of the internship I started at an up and coming design firm in Raleigh, NC. I was weeks away from graduating college at the top of my class with a 4.0 GPA. What a great time. Life was good. I had music playing at my desk every day. Outkast and Black Eyed Peas played a lot. 2004 immediately makes me think of the time I met my friend’s Winston and John for the first time (I talked about them in this recent post). “The Reason” by Hoobastank always makes me a bit misty eyed when I hear it. Although the message has absolutely nothing to do with them, it was on the radio, and I just connect it with them. 2005 reminds me of a lot of changes. By then I had moved up to the Senior Designer at that same web firm, and my career was flourishing. But I made the decision that our family was more important, so we moved to Nashville, TN to be closer to our family in Illinois, 3 hours away. I quit my job and found a new one here. Mariah Carey, Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, Kelly Clarkson, The Killers… those are just a few of the names mentioned in iTunes that bring back memories of that time of transition in my life. 2006 is when Rodney and I bought our first house. It was a hectic time, but not too bad overall. I know a lot about real estate, so it was actually pretty smooth. I think The Fray pretty much defined that year, and Justin Timberlake brings back good memories too. 2007 - Daughtry, Daughtry, Daughtry. There wasn’t any station that didn’t play his songs on the hour, every hour. This was the year I quit my day job and started running my own design business full time. I had a lot of time alone to listen to whatever I wanted that year. These memories are probably meaningless and insignificant to anyone else. But to me, they are bricks that build the foundation of my life. Every song, every artist, every cover image makes me think of someone or something pertaining to that particular time in my life. So here we are in 2008. I’m left wondering what songs and which artists will define this year when I look back at it. I already have a few in mind.
Many of you may be aware of a blog called Hunk du Jour (French translation: Hunk of the Day). It features daily photos, profiles, and interviews with sexy men. Some are celebrities, some are just average guys found online. It’s a great variety with something for every hunk lover. It’s also very interactive, as readers get to vote for tomorrow’s featured man. Today they launched a new website design, and guess who designed it? Me. I’ve been working closely with Chris, the site’s owner, to create a whole new look. I had such a great time working on this site! (Who wouldn’t?) But working with Chris is what really made the difference. He’s been a great client and I hope his readers enjoy the new layout. Have a looksie:
He used to live in Los Angeles but now he splits his time between there and Berlin with his partner John. You might not know Winston by name, but you’ve probably seen his work for Instinct magazine. His partner is a photographer and he used to do the cover shoots while Winston did the hair and make-up. But the reason I’m writing this is because I’d like to tell you about Winston’s new creative process. He has a very unique style of creating artwork on newspaper print. He’s been doing it for awhile now and his work has been featured in art galleries in both LA and Berlin. His latest goal was to draw himself nude every day for one year, starting on his birthday last November. He is pushing the mind’s boundaries, the limits of creativity. I really admire Winston for tackling this challenge. I also love seeing the way his self-images takes on so many different styles and concepts. He’s halfway through and has posted video excerpts of the sessions, sped up to music. Here’s one video I really thought was unique: You can view the work-in-progress on Winston’s gallery website. You can also check out his video series on YouTube. A few months ago I had written about some health problems our dog Petey was having so I thought I should follow-up with the latest. He never did pass the 16 stones he had in his bladder, so he had to have surgery this past Thursday. The incision was 4 inches long across his abdomen and all around his penis. It looks pretty gruesome and a 4 inch wound is pretty substantial on the belly of a miniature schnauzer. Silly me, I guess I just thought it would be a tiny incision and they’d pop the stones right out. I didn’t realize they’d have to cut through all the stomach and muscle and bladder. Ouch. We also didn’t realize he’d have to stay in his crate 24/7 for the next 10 days. It is too risky for him to be out because he is a very wild boy who likes to run and jump. One wrong move and he could injure himself, so he has to be confined. I think that’s the hardest part… just resisting temptation. Once he has his pain medicine, he acts like a normal dog. So we have to keep in mind that he’s not okay to play right now, even though he thinks he is. But I think the worst is over. He was very sore and couldn’t move on Thursday. He had a few accidents and leaked on himself Friday, but actually started doing better and was able to go outside to use the bathroom, and also eat and drink. His appetite is back. We’re on our way to a healthy dog!
I’m not sure what it is about this pic, but I just found it to be funny, and yet oddly interesting at the same time. The angle is what seems funny. The close-up is so extreme that his penis almost looks like a character. I expect it to start talking at any moment… Open up and say “ahhhhh” I also enjoy the grin on this guy’s face. Have you ever seen someone so proud? You know this photo will be going out on his Christmas cards. Oh, well. I suppose if I looked like this naked, I’d be grinning too. At ease, soldier.
—– Question Submitted: My partner and I have been together for two years and now, suddenly, he wants to have an open relationship. I don’t like the idea of him being with other guys, but I love him and I want to make this work. He says I’m being stubborn and possessive. Maybe I am. What should I do? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. It sounds kind of hot. Should I agree to it? Nathan’s Response: Let’s start with an analysis of what open relationships are really intended to be, and then come back around to the specific situation at hand. The short answer is yes, open relationships can work. But the problem is they often don’t work. The technical definition of an open relationship is when two people who are already in a relationship agree that they can participate in sexual encounters with other people without guilt, shame, jealousy, or resentment. In order for this to truly work, both partners must fully and completely accept that their partner will be intimate with someone else.
The tattoo is a cartoon of a Japanese scorpion, named Sasori. Sounds fancy, but it’s really just the translation of “scorpion” in Japanese. (Cue the gasps.) When I was 17, an artist friend of mine used to draw characters on me with henna. I liked the scorpion so much (it’s my astrological sign) and I decided I’d enjoy being branded with it for the rest of my life. (This turned out to be false.) My parents took me to the tattoo parlor and paid for the tattoo. It was a gift. My other 2 brothers have tattoos also. I guess you could say we’re ink brothers. When I first got Sasori, I thought I was so cool. None of the other kids in school had one and I was just so bad-ass. But then the questions started… “Why isn’t it colored in?” I heard that dozens of times, day after day. The tattoo was never meant to be in color. I was so bothered by that constant question that I’ve pretty much worn long pants the rest of my adult life. Sad, isn’t it? Now the obvious question is “If it bothers you so much, why don’t you just have it modified?” While that would make sense, I don’t want another tattoo. And I don’t want this one to be more prominent. In fact, someday, I plan to have it removed. But as far as tattoos in general, I’m all for them. I just don’t want any on me.
The story went live in the early afternoon of April 16, 2008. In it, Azariah explained how it’s important for the Christian community to be loving and accepting of gay people. Azariah was the producer and host of a syndicated Christian TV show called The Remix, which reached young viewers all over the U.S. He went on to explain that he didn’t mind his career in the religious media being over because he felt it was more important to spread the message of acceptance and tolerance. Within hours, the story took on an unexpected life of its own. It was picked up by The Huffington Post, and then spread to popular gossip site Perez Hilton, as well as many gay-themed news blogs. By early evening, the modest story of a young Nashville man coming out of the closet had reached millions of readers around the world. Blogs and news forums were flooded with support for Azariah. Despite an expected backlash from conservative Christians, the overwhelming theme was positive and deeply supportive. Azariah’s simple message of love seemed to connect with everyone. Now there are so many more questions people want to ask Azariah. He was generous enough to devote some of his time for an exclusive interview with Nathan Exposed: —– Nathan: What made you decide to come out yesterday? Most people usually don’t wake up and say “I think I’m going to come out in a newspaper today. ” Instead, it’s usually after a situation reaches a boiling point and they feel they have no other choice. Was there something or someone that urged you to come out? Azariah: Well some things have happened in the past year that have caused this to come out. It was a mix of life experiences, maturing, and studying what the Bible really says about being gay. After I watched the documentary, “For The Bible Tells Me So” I became confident in who I was and was ready to deal with this. So it was a mix of all those things that really brought this on. Nathan: You seemed to anticipate the worst before it ever happened. Isn’t there a chance people already suspected you were gay and accepted you? Your show has an audience of young viewers, which do tend to be more open minded and probably already know gay kids in their schools. Azariah: I tend to think the worst and hope for the best. In this case so far, only the best has happened. I do think some people suspected I was gay, I mean lets face it, I am by no means flamboyant but I’m no jock either. The reaction so far has been 99% positive. I’ve received hundreds of emails from people all over the world telling me their story and saying how inspired they are. From all the emails I’ve received, I have realized that I must have a voice for these people and to all the others who need to know there is hope and they can still be a Christian, even if they are gay. Nathan: Tell me about your life before you came out and the process of getting here. Did family and friends know you are gay? Did you (and do you) have a support system to help you through this? Azariah: My life before publicly announcing I was gay is the same as it is now. I was active in the gay community. I have been attending a gay affirming church, Covenant of the Cross. Most of my friends are gay and they are VERY intelligent people who love God. My family and friends have known for a while. It was no secret to them. Yes, I do have a very strong and amazing support system here in Nashville. I have some very amazing friends who have already been down my road. Nathan: Do you have role models in the gay community that you look up to? Azariah: Oh my gosh yes! I can not tell you how much Ellen Degeneres’s story has helped to bring me where I am now. I use to go on YouTube when I was feeling down and watch her interview on 20/20 when she was just coming out and find so much comfort in that. She has been such an encouragement. I also really admire Anderson Cooper on CNN. His story is fascinating. Ellen however, is my role model, hands down. Nathan: Now I have to ask this, because I know someone else will if I don’t. Are you currently dating anyone? Have you been in relationships with other men in the past, or is this all new for you? Azariah: LOL!!! Awww… Nathan: A lot of gay people struggle with religion and what the church teaches them. I thought it was interesting that you pointed out that true Christianity is about accepting and loving everyone for who they are. But religion can breed very hateful reactions to gay people that contradict the core message of Christianity, which is love. What is your spin on it? How did you overcome all the darkness and see that you can be Christian AND gay? Azariah: It’s been a long hard road and the journey is not over. I received an email from a guy named Matt who just came out to his parents this past week and they’re not taking it well at all. Neither is he. Matt said he needed advice and already tried to commit suicide twice. This broke my heart when I read that. Its emails like that that I read and ask myself where is the body of Christ to love and comfort him? I believe the church needs to lay down their stones and start to speak love into people like Matt’s lives. I was able to overcome much of the oppression and guilt by just doing my own research and having long conversations with people about it. Nathan: What is the current status of The Remix? Has it been canceled, and/or do the networks even know you came out yet? Azariah: I do know that as of today (Thursday) the second day of all the chaos, one network has taken The Remix off the air. I have not heard from the other two networks. I do know they are soon to follow. Nathan: Is the show something you’d want to fight for? If you love it and it’s your passion, would you be curious to see if you can stand up and insist that the show go on, since you are the producer? Azariah: I know these people, and this crowd. It’s the whole Pat Robertson and TBN crowd. There is no way in this lifetime they will allow a openly gay person on their networks. I wouldn’t fight for it because I know the fight would be in vain. I’m hoping that secular networks will come forth and be interested in picking it up. It really is a great show concept and very fast paced and I still own the rights to it! Nathan: I’m sure there are many gay men and women in Christian media who are hiding in the closet. Is it something everybody knows but doesn’t talk about? Do you know if anyone else plans on coming out specifically because you did? Azariah: I have actually received several emails from people actually coming out to me that are in the Christian industry. Sometimes everyone does know about “that one person in the office” but no one dares talk about it. No one has come to me saying they have plans to come out but I have been told they wish they had the courage to. Nathan: In closing, is there anything you’d like to say that came to your mind after the initial article was published yesterday? Anything you wanted to say after the fact? Anything that has been misinterpreted and you’d like to clarify? Azariah: Everything I’ve seen has been pretty fair and accurate. The only thing I would like to add is, to all those who are struggling with who you are as a gay man or lesbian and your faith, know that there is hope and you’re not going to hell. God loves you and accepts you, just believe in him and be loving to others and you are saved. —– Thanks so much for agreeing to this, Azariah. The poor guy had been reading and responding to e-mails all day, and was still enthusiastic about filling out these answers. I’d like to end this post with a very touching video message he posted on YouTube:
What it boils down to is a local man named Azariah Southworth came out of the closet. So what’s the big deal? Well, Azariah is the producer and host of a very popular nationally syndicated TV show called The Remix, aimed at Christian youth. Azariah is well known in the Christian community and has been featured in many religious magazines. He’s also had some of the biggest names in Christian music on the show. I thought Azariah’s quote about the situation was so inspiring: “I know I will be cut off from many within the Christian community, and if so, then they didn’t get the point of the life of Christ. I believe by me living my life honestly and authentically now, I am able to be a better person and a better Christian. We all know there are so many other gay people in the Christian industry; they’re just all scared. I was scared, but now I’m no longer afraid.” So true! Religion is a topic that divides the gay community very strongly. It’s the single most controversial topic and it has single handedly ruined the lives of many GLBT people. Who doesn’t know the story of someone who was terrified to come out because he or she knew his family and friends would reject him due to religious beliefs? It’s the story of so many of our lives. I think what Azariah has done is worth applauding. I hope it provides a lesson to the Christian community that loved him so much. If you truly believe in the lessons taught in The Bible, you will accept that gay people are creations of God, and to hate us or judge goes against the very message you’re preaching! The sad thing is that so many gay people don’t get to live their lives openly because of the way religion is used as a weapon. That’s just not the way it should be. I know that there are many other closeted gay figures in the religious media, and I hope this will start a trend of them coming out. When you break past that mental wall that being gay is some dirty, perverted fetish, you eliminate boundaries and show that gay people are just as normal as anyone else. Nice job, Azariah! And kudos to Out & About for publishing an article that is making waves everywhere, with a very insightful message.
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This is a story that really angers me right down to the core.
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Sorry I’m just thinking about a guy I have a crush on. I need a moment… Ok… over it! I have been in relationships in the past. I’m currently not in a relationship. I do want to find someone to love and who can love me soon, but I’m patient, so no rush.
