Tonight I was thinking about our nephew and how it’s been almost a year since he died from a drug overdose. It was such a tragic event at age 23. Situations like these are difficult because there is so much anger left lingering after all the tears have dried. So many questions left un-answered.

I often hear people talk about losing someone they loved through an illness or suffering of some sort. It seems they always get a chance to say “goodbye”. For me, it seems that everyone who has died left without warning. It seems there are so many people I never got closure with. Grandparents, cousins, nephews, friends. It really makes me stop to appreciate each conversation I have with people. I always remember the last one.

The last time I talked to one Grandma was when I was in a hurry to get off the phone. I feel badly because if I’d known it was the last time, I would have said so much more. Then another Grandma, I sat with her at a restaurant, keeping my eye on the watch. Dad offered to let me ride back with them to the nursing home, but I declined. Would it really have bothered me so much to just haul my butt in the car and ride back with them? I can still see her tracking slowly to the car with her cane that night. If I’d only known it would be the last time I saw her.

Recalling these memories made me think about the conversations we have with people and the constant rush to be places and do things. Most of the things we’re in a rush to do won’t even matter tomorrow.

I try to value every moment of life, but many times I still feel I’ve failed to appreciate people. I always wish I could have one more conversation before they go, and maybe say the things I really felt in my heart.

Next time you’re engaged in a conversation with someone you love, I encourage you to imagine it’s your last. Make sure you’ve said the things you really felt so that you won’t regret not saying them later.

I suppose that these types of moments will forever be etched in each of our minds for one reason or another. I don’t think you’re the only one. But I do think it’s time that we all start becoming more “Present” in our conversations and relationships….seriously valuing them. In case you missed this post:

http://its-raining-men.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-present-are-you.html

HUGS!!!!!

Whenever I finish a phone call with my partner, my mum or any family member, I always tell them that I love them. I don’t do it because I should or that I have to because it’s what you do. I do it because as you say you never know. I’m not being morbid but at least I will know that the last thing they heard from me was just that, me telling them that I love them. I know I said it and I know that they heard me. It may seem a small silly thing and you think well doesn’t everyone do it, you’d be surprised how so many don’t and others just take these things for granted or sometimes they just forget. Same thing goes for when my partner leaves the house to run an errand, go to work or go to the gym, we always say I love you, again not because we have to but underneath you just want to be sure. Life is never easy and as for death there is rarely any preparation and even if there is time it’s still never enough because we always want just one more moment. It’s about being human. It will never bring the person back and it never makes the loss any easier but in some small recess of our brain we know that we at least said those three little words and they heard them.

You’re so right, Nathan. I always find myself rushing through life, and have to constantly tell myself to slow down and enjoy those I care around me.