Nathan Exposed » Tests of My Patience

I don’t like to be a negative person, but I must vent…

On New Year’s Day, Rodney’s Dad was rushed to the hospital. We got the phone call at 1AM as we drove home from our friends’ party. His Dad had congestive heart failure, pneumonia, and a few hours later, he suffered a mild heart attack.

Where do I even begin with this man? He only eats fast food. Morning, noon, and night. I don’t think one morsel of food that touches his lips hasn’t been fried. A few years ago, he had a massive heart attack and was in such poor health that they couldn’t even perform surgery. They put two stints in him, which helped prevent blockage around his heart.

Doctors warned him that he had to eat healthier and stop exposing himself to second-hand cigarette smoke from Rodney’s Mom (and we’ll get to her in a minute). He sits right next to her when she smokes, so he is literally inhaling unfiltered smoke right into his lungs.

You’d think that almost dying would change a man, but it didn’t. For these past few years, Rodney’s Dad has went on with his unhealthy lifestyle, not changing one thing. I swear he’s on a suicide mission. How could someone care so little about himself?

So when all this came about on New Year’s, I have to admit, I wasn’t surprised. But I was naturally upset, and went into my usual ritual of praying very intensely that he would survive.

Sure enough, he did make it. They put him on some medicine to help with the fluids on his lungs and also the pneumonia. They also cleared out his stints, which were already 40% blocked! Do you have any idea how much effort it would take to block stints after just a few years?

48 hours later, and he was out trying to run errands. He had to pull over 3 times because he was having so much trouble breathing. Did he call an ambulance? Of course not. That would be the SANE thing to do! He just went on with his errands, as if the problem would go away.

24 hours later, he was in the hospital again, and going through congestive heart failure. Do you see a pattern here?

On to Rodney’s Mother…

Whew, I have to really bite my tongue with this woman. She is all colors of crazy. The only way I know how to describe her is a parasite. She latches onto other’s people’s energy and sucks them dry until they are as sad and miserable as she is.

But on the topic of smoking, I can’t believe she continues to blow smoke towards Rodney’s Dad, even though she has specifically been told by doctors that if she continues smoking in their house, she will kill her husband. Those are the exact words of the doctor from a few years ago.

Her lungs are so bad that she has a breathing machine. Can you imagine needing a machine to help you breathe because your body can no longer do it?

I don’t know who is worse… Rodney’s Mom for continuing to smoke, or Rodney’s Dad for continuing to be around it. We’re going to be burying them both within 5 years… and that’s being optimistic.

Keeping on the happy face

Right now, Rodney really needs me to be strong and supportive. It’s tough. It really tests every ounce of my patience.

If they were dying of cancer, I could at least feel a little sympathy and say they had no control over it. But both Rodney’s Mom and Dad are dying because of their complete and utter disregard for themselves. There is just no way to sugarcoat it. Even doctors have agreed that these health problems are a direct result of the way they live, and not hereditary.

How in the hell do you feel sorry for someone who is slowly killing themselves, and making the rest of their family suffer in the mean time? It is the cruelest, most selfish thing to put a family through.

I am trying to be compassionate. It would be so much easier if his Dad would rest after being in the hospital, and report any problems immediately. It would also help if he changed his eating habits. Surely there’s some type of service for the elderly that would deliver healthy food. He could just as easily pay for that as he pays for fast food. Maybe I’ll look into that for him.

As for his Mother… I’ve been mild and there’s a lot to be said about her that I’ve purposely withheld. But on the topic of smoking, well we all know what needs to happen with that.

Tue, Jan 8, 2008 @ 8:11 pm | Filed in Family | Permalink

4 Comments

Yikes, Nathan! You’re really letting your in-laws have it here…Does Rodney read your blog? I mean, I’ll be the first person to have a serious one-on-one with you about in-laws. And there’s plenty of fodder for fueling the fire, believe me. But for me to put it in print, I’m not so sure. I concur with you 100% though…don’t get me wrong. I wish you guys both peaceful days in getting this sorted out.

Posted by Lewis on Tue, Jan 8, 2008 @ 9:12 pm

Thanks for your concern. I do hope that somehow both parents do decide to be healthier. I don’t know how much it would help, but I guess it never hurts to try.

Posted by Nathan on Tue, Jan 8, 2008 @ 11:30 pm

I hope Rodney’s Dad is doing better. It is amazing how some people never realize what the hell they are doing till it’s too late.

Good luck

Posted by The Bartender on Wed, Jan 9, 2008 @ 9:03 am

Wow, Nathan, don’t hold anything back, now.

Anyway, I know what you mean. My dad killed himself with the smoking and bad food. Picture this–He’s plugged into oxygen at the hospital and tying to get me to smuggle in smokes! Dinner for Dad was usually something in a frying pan with lots of grease. Second course would be a piece of bread which he would use to lap up the remaining grease from the pan.

I have two dear friends, a married couple a few years younger than me, who continue to smoke despite more frequent and severe respiratory problems. With most colds they run the risk of pneumonia.

People do as they please, particularly when it is the path of least resistance. Older folks become set in their ways and, heaven forbid, some youngster try to tell them otherwise. I never want to be old like that.

Change must come from within. Each person must make a personal decision to do what is necessary to live a long, healthy life. Unhappy people often seem to cling to a destructive path. Both of my parents allowed themselves to die because they stopped seeing a future for themselves.

I wish people would just get it. I did, seven years ago. The rewards were nearly immediate and it scares me to think what my health might be like today if I had not quit.

You and Rodney must have spoken about this(?)

Posted by Mark on Wed, Jan 9, 2008 @ 5:53 pm