Nathan Exposed » How Do You Say No?

I have an interesting dilemma, which I’ve discussed with Rodney, but still am not sure I know the best approach.

With my website design business, I get a lot of random inquiries. Some people are just curious, others are serious. But they all pretty much have the same questions.

The challenge is decoding what they say when we talk and making a split second decision as to whether or not they would be a good client. I don’t know how to define what a “good client” is, but after you’ve been doing something for awhile, you do develop the ability to sense it pretty easily.

Whatever your job is, you probably have the same ability. You can tell from a mile away.

So the hard part is turning people down. Oh, the drama. Nobody ever takes it well. I get yelled at, I get called names, and you’d think I just killed their dog. The only positive thing about the experience is that they just proved that my suspicions were right about them.

What should I do differently? Should I take the easy road and just lie, saying I’m “too busy” to help them? Should I ignore them completely and hope they’ll forget about me?

They say honesty is the best policy, but I’m beginning to doubt it. If I’m honest and tell a person I’d like to pass on a job, I give them something to be mad about.

But if I lie and saying I’m busy, then at least they can just chalk it up to bad timing. And if I ignore them completely, they will probably be bothered for awhile, but will eventually forget about me because I haven’t really given them anything to be mad about.

Anyone have any ideas on what works best?

Wed, Jan 23, 2008 @ 4:14 pm | Filed in Life | Permalink

5 Comments

The best way to say no is “No” but with an empathetic tone. In other words, let them know you understand their needs but try and leave it on your shoulders and not theirs. Try doing it by adding a solution - your best savior.

Here’s why: Your alternatives (like you said) are to lie or ignore. Both of those could come back to bite you in the ass later.

We all know a good business is spread by word of mouth especially when it’s a small business. Also, you really never know who you’re saying “no” to and who they know or may know in the future. So how you say it might be very important to you down the line.

An example by this might be:

“Nathan, I’m really flattered that you’ve considered me for your project. After listening to you I understand the importance of your needs. However, I do not feel that I can commit to your project and give you the attention you deserve. Unfortunately, I have to decline but if you like, I’d be happy to refer you to someone that might be able to assist you.”

In a previous life I spent many years in customer service, not to mention many courses on the subject matter. I hope this helps.

Posted by Lika Starr on Wed, Jan 23, 2008 @ 6:13 pm

It depends on who they are and why I would turn them down.

If they’re potentially just a pain in the ass, I may tell them I’m too busy. Which isn’t a lie - I’m *really* busy most of the time and don’t have the time or patience to coddle their idiosyncrasies. I’ve not gotten too much negative response from that, actually.

The other type of client I can’t handle are the ones who don’t understand it costs money to make money, and thus fight over every nickel and dime. For them, I don’t discount my rates - thus pricing the deal outside their range. They tend to go away by themselves. I’ve had people try to haggle, make up imaginary other bidders, but I just respond with something akin to “you get what you pay for,” and let it fall where it may.

Posted by Jeof on Wed, Jan 23, 2008 @ 7:11 pm

I’m a big fan of referring them to someone else.

You can refer those clients to me if you like. I have a lot of experience working with hard to deal with clients.

Posted by jester on Wed, Jan 23, 2008 @ 8:27 pm

id lie and refer out.

Posted by eliot on Wed, Jan 23, 2008 @ 10:02 pm

Honesty is one thing, diplomacy is another. And reality is another. Somehow, they must all fit together. Pleasantly.

Posted by Lewis on Thu, Jan 24, 2008 @ 12:19 pm