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Did you know Mars is in retrograde? Neither did I. But I kept hearing about it until I finally researched it. I do know we are influenced by the planets, but I don’t follow it closely. I’m still bitter because Scorpio’s planet (Pluto) was called a “dwarf”. How rude! Anyway, a lot of crazy sheot has been going on lately, particularly at home. Rodney and I have been fighting non-stop, and it’s gotten way out of hand. It just seemed to spring up from nowhere, like one day we both woke up and wanted to run each other over. Well, as it turns out, Mars is in retrograde, which is supposed to bring out the worst in people. At first I didn’t think much of it until I read up on some articles that showed a lot of wars have have actually started while Mars was in retrograde (Mars is a planet of war). Mars is going to be in retrograde until the end of January, so if the planets really do rule the moods of people in the world, then everyone just needs to take a happy pill and deal with it. Can’t we all just be friends?
My search continues for a fictional last name to use on my blog. I’ve decided I want it to be simple, but uncommon: Nathan Black Nathan North Nathan West Nathan Berlin Nathan Anderson Nathan Green Nathan Fisher
The only thing I love more than a Super Mario game is a Super Gay Mario game with hearts and rainbows and music you could skip to. From Howard’s blog: Speaking of gay, Hayes had a co-worker get drunk and write an entire flash game that plays as Super Mario through a rainbow prism. Yes! Drinking is the new productivity inducer. The funny thing is the friend doesn’t remember doing it.
Oh, come on, you’re holding out. Don’t be shy, just raise your hand up if you’ve ever worn them. Fine, we’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t tell the truth. I’ll go first… I have worn Edible Undies. Yes… those awful, ridiculous things you buy at Spencer’s for $7. It was a long, long time ago, and we’re all entitled to stupid mistakes. I don’t know what dumbass invented these, but I guess they had good intentions. They thought “Gee, wouldn’t it be sexy if a man had flavored candy underwear on that you could eat off his dick?” Yes, it does sound a little hot in theory. I’ll give them that. So one weekend, a partner and I decided it would be fun if I put some on. What I didn’t expect is that these things melt onto your skin, and the heat from your body turns them into a sticky pool of sugar within minutes. Liquids of any kind (translation: my pre-cum) make them disintegrate even faster. Let’s just say there wasn’t anything sexy about them, and they had all but evaporated before the fun could begin. I ended up peeling them off and throwing them away. I just thought I’d share this little gem from my past. To my horror, these things are still being sold, complete with the original 1980’s packaging! How do the makers stay in business? Are there really that many people who make the same mistake buying them? Well, let me save you some trouble… don’t do it. Whip cream is still a classic, and I highly recommend it.
It’s amazing how emotionally invested we get in celebrities, isn’t it? When we really like a celebrity, we become defensive and protective when they are criticized. We’ve all been there. Somebody says something negative about a celebrity we like, and it makes us mad. I feel that way about Ellen Degeneres. I really like her and I don’t like it when people say negative things about her. Anyway, when the writers went on strike, Ellen somehow became the target of criticism. The Writers Guild of America has accused Ellen of not supporting them since she has continued taping her talk show. That’s ridiculous. None of the talk show hosts have stopped taping. Their contracts are different and the rules of their industry are completely different than the rules of scripted shows. Why should Ellen stop? Nobody expects Oprah to stop. Or Dr. Phil (is he still on?), Martha Stewart, Tyra Banks, or anyone else. Nope, they are just criticizing Ellen. In fact, it’s become so out of hand that the New York division told Ellen to not come there over Thanksgiving because she wouldn’t be welcome there. So she canceled her trip! This is crazy, and it makes me mad that people are picking on Ellen, but haven’t said a word about any other talk show. Do they really think that Ellen Degeneres controls the entire talk show industry? I was originally supportive of the writers, but if they’re going to start picking out celebrities to bully, then I’m going to stop being sympathetic to their cause.
Here’s a touchy topic. Four patients in Chicago were infected with HIV after receiving organ transplants from a donor that was positive. This is the first time someone in the U.S. has been infected from an organ transplant since 1994. It turns out the person who was infected contracted the virus 3 weeks before dying. So at the time of death, the virus did not show up on tests. As a result, the organs were then given to the four people who needed them. The article was published on Gay.com and has received some pretty heated comments. There are multiple ways to look at this. Optimists say that the four people should just be grateful to be alive. People die everyday while waiting for an organ donor, so they should just consider themselves to be survivors, even though they now have HIV. I guess that’s a very nice way to look at life, considering how precious it is. And it is true, most people would rather be alive with HIV than to have died waiting for an organ. However, other people (I won’t call them pessimists because it sounds too harsh) think it’s very upsetting. These four people thought they were going to get a new chance at healthiness, only to discover that now they will need to keep track of the virus. They can still be “healthy”, but let’s face it… nobody wants news like this. It’s a difficult thing and I guess the four people might fall into either category above. Whatever the case, it’s happened and it can’t be taken back. The best we can do is continuously try to find a cure, and also improve our testing so that we can detect it sooner.
HELP! I need a fake last name. Here’s the deal: I don’t use my last name on my blog, which isn’t so unusual. Most bloggers do prefer to keep their last names private. But sometimes it does get frustrating not having a last name to post. E-mail is another good example. For 2 years, I had my e-mail set-up to show messages from “Nathan”. I shudder to think how many people must have thought it was spam when they saw a one worded name in their Inbox. I finally changed it to “Nathan Exposed”, which sounds just as spammy. So I need a name. A fake name. And I’m terrible with fake names. How about Nathan Richards? It’s a dirty joke. “Dick” is a short name for “Richard”, so I could be like Nathan Dicks, only Nathan Richards so it’s not so obvious. No? Okay, how about something European or exotic? How about a strong German last name? I have ancestors from Germany. Nathan Brandt means “fire”. Nathan Faust means “fist”, heh. Freud means “joy”. Nathan Freud, I like that. Nathan Nussbaum means “nut tree”. Again, I like that. It has a nice ring to it. Nathan Lang? Lang means “long” in German, and has just enough similarity to sound like Nathan Lane. I guess I could name myself after my first dog, Nathan Bouncer. Yes, my first dog’s name was Bouncer. I don’t remember why. Any ideas?
As the year draws to a close, I’ve decided to make a list of every client I’ve worked with in 2007. This has been my first full year of being self employed, as of March 1st. Seeing it all on a page really puts things into perspective. Look how blessed I’ve been to have so many good clients. The good far outweighs the bad, and that makes me very proud. MY LITTLE ANGELS: The Fag Hag - This woman was the perfect client. She had common sense, she understood how to communicate effectively, and she has a wicked sense of humor. I’d love to clone her and work with more people like her. The Photographer - He has an artistic mind like I do, so working together was easy. Thanks to the creative freedom he gave me, I was able to build one of my best websites for him. He’s also come back for multiple projects, and once he even sent me a check before I’d had time to bill him. Wow. The E-Commerce Guy - Easy to work with, pretty down to earth. There were some bad choices he made which made my job harder, but ultimately they will affect him because he’s not running his site the way he should. But as far as being a traditional “good client”, he’s been a gem. The Hollywood Transplant - She called me right before she moved away from a huge Hollywood firm and when she got to Nashville, she became a client, just as she said she would. Really nice, and very prompt. The Good Ol’ Boy - This man had redneck written all over him, and I was actually nervous meeting him because I thought he was going to start talking about “titties” at any given moment. But he surprised me. He was actually very professional and easy to work with. The Secret Admirer - I’ll admit it was very uncomfortable when he told me he “had feelings for me”. But weirdness aside, he’s a good client, and he let me do my job on the project. The Unexpected Friend - I saw him check out my ass when I was walking away, but you can’t blame a gay man for being gay. He has turned out to be a good friend and one of the nicest people I know. I’m impressed. He’s even referred some business to me. The Insurance Agent - He provides our insurance, I provide his marketing material. The Ex-Employer - Persistence really paid off with him. 2 years after leaving his design firm in North Carolina, the stars aligned and I started doing work for him again. It probably didn’t hurt that I kept my name fresh in his mind every couple of months. The Non-Profit - Who knew non-profits had so much dough? Anyway, good clients, very well paying too. The eBayer - A very nice guy that happens to be the partner of my doctor. He’s another example of someone who gave me total creative freedom, and the results were beautiful. The Friendly Talker - Easy to work with, but way too talkative. He really liked the job I did, and I liked him, so I guess that’s all that matters. The Realtor - Instead of doing design work, she actually hired me to teach her how to use her computer. She was a good student and easy to work with. — The BAD EGGS: The OCD Guy - This man is driving me crazy! Every time I e-mail him, instead of responding with a simple answer, he calls me to talk for 15 minutes. I was convinced his e-mail program was missing a “Reply” button! Instead, he only knew how to check mail and write mail, but didn’t understand the concept of replying to it. I finally had to tell him to please stop calling so much because he was interrupting my concentration. So what did he do? He started e-mailing me every 5 minutes. Argh! The Thief - This is a true lesson learned! He suckered me out of $800 worth of work without paying for it, and then had the nerve to report me to the BBB. Luckily the BBB saw how crazy this guy was and sided with me. I never got paid, but thanks to this guy, I now require a deposit and contract from everyone. The Douche - He got 6 hours of free work from me before going with someone else. Yes, this is before I required deposits and contracts. He then came back to me a few months later wanting my services. I required a deposit from him and he promptly paid me. But after thinking about how much I disliked him, I gave the money back and told him he’d need to find someone else. The Confused Kid - I hate using age discrimination against people because I don’t like it when it’s done to me. But this was truly a young, confused kid who had no idea what he wanted. He did pay me a deposit, but he was just a huge pain to work with. Mid-way through the project, I quit, and gave him his money back. The Crazy Marketers - I’m not violent, and I would never physically hurt someone. But let’s just pretend that life is a video game, I’m Mario, and they are represented by Bowser. I would shoot them with fireballs, then pounce on them until the bridge collapsed and they fell into a boiling pool of lava. Then, I’d drag the burned carcass out, stomp on it again, and cover it in gasoline before throwing it back in. One time I took a picture of one of them, and she joked that I’d be making it into a dart board. She laughed, I didn’t. Thanks for the idea. I haven’t ruled it out yet.
Contrary to what retailers would like you to believe, it is not Christmas time. It is November, which is part of Autumn. Because it is Autumn, our home is decorated with pumpkins. Just doing my part to inform the public. This is my newest entry in the looooong overdue series I created called “Exposed Yourself,” where you post a photo of something in your home. Feel free to play along and post something on your blog. I love taking a peek into other people’s homes. As you can see, this is our fireplace, which Rodney keeps decorated for every season and holiday. Fireplaces are less common in newer homes since we don’t really need them. But it was one of the features we insisted on when we were house hunting. I think it’s a nice centerpiece for any room, even though we don’t really use it for its purpose.
Brace yourself. It’s romaine lettuce, an apple, banana, pineapple, mandarin oranges, and lemon juice. Yes, really. The actual recipe calls for spinach, cucumber, lemon juice, apple, celery, and ginger, but I improvised with what’s in the house. It’s not too bad actually. Pretty refreshing, but I’m sure if I used the real ingredients, it would be much better. Would you like a sip?
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By a vote of hands, how many of you have worn Edible Undies at some point in your life?
