Nathan Exposed » Yard Sale Weirdness

Yard Sale Weirdness

On the first weekend of August, Rodney and I had a yard sale at our house. Our friend across the street also sold her stuff with us, so we had a wide variety of items. She handled the money, and she’s really good at it. Rodney helped her. I was mostly on smile patrol. I’m really good at flashing my teeth and saying “Good morning! How are you?”

It was a huge success. We live on a very busy street and apparently the first weekend of the month is the best time for a sale due to people getting their paychecks.

Anyway, we had some more stuff to sell and decided to schedule one for this fall. Due to schedules, this past weekend was the only time we could squeeze it in.

A little breathing room, please…

It started off rough. I was still in the shower when Rodney went down to open the garage door and bring the tables out to the driveway. People literally started swarming inside our garage before we could even bring the stuff out.

To add to the problem, it was very cold and windy that morning. All three of us were shaking in our chairs. But wait, it gets better.

During the summer sale, we had awesome customers. No problems, and very few hagglers. But this time, the freaks came out to play!

80’s Lady

Let’s start with the lady in her 80’s tracksuit. No kidding! We’re talking teal, purple, and some other crazy colors. She walked up with her daughter and spotted a set of bubbles for kids, never opened, and priced at $1. She studied the set for a good 5 minutes, and finally said “How much for these bubbles?”

They were our friend’s bubbles, so she responded, “I can go down to 50 cents. They’re not opened.”

80’s lady scratched her chin and thought about it. “Hmmm… I’ll give you 30 cents.”

“Sorry,” our friend responded, “They’re a whole set. 50 cents is as low as I’ll go.”

80’s lady stormed off! She was seriously upset about not getting them for 30 cents. Holy fuck, lady! You could have went to the grocery store and found that much money in the parking lot!

Jew You!

Next up was the “Jew You” lady. She seemed like a nice lady at first as she brought up some clothes and opened up her purse. Rodney told her the total and she handed over the money. We made eye contact and I smiled. For no apparent reason, she said “These are so nice, I won’t even Jew you about them.”

A stunned look crossed my face as she paid and walked away.

“Ummmm, did that lady just make a stereotypical insinuation about Jews?” I asked. Rodney and our friend nodded.

The Smokers

It’s common courtesy to not smoke at a yard sale. Not only do you risk dropping ash on items you haven’t paid for, but you also get your smell on the clothes. Plus, cigarette smoking is just annoying and invasive in public.

This really trashy, dirty looking man and woman strolled up our driveway, puffing away and blowing smoke on everything. They were too lazy to even flick the ashes, so they had foot long sticks of ash just hanging off the ends. Yuck.

I was going to just let it go, but then our friend covered her mouth and ran inside. Oops, I neglected to mention that our friend is pregnant and they were blowing smoke right towards her.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t smoke her. My friend is pregnant,” I said to them in a very friendly tone, thinking they would apologize and put the cigarettes out. Instead, they walked off, cigarettes still lit, and got back in their truck to leave.

The Check

One woman was 50 cents short, so she asked if she could write a personal check for it. Ummm, no.

So that’s it, in a nutshell. It was amazing how different this sale was compared to the one in August. We made very little profit, which we already expected since it was cold and the end of October. But what was with all the weird people?

Mon, Oct 29, 2007 @ 1:13 am | Filed in Humor | Permalink

4 Comments

Hmmm…sounds like every one of my family reunions!

Posted by DanNation on Mon, Oct 29, 2007 @ 2:40 am

I had a simular experience at a charity yard sale of all places. You would think that people would like to help out when the money is going to charity. OH NO. I have never seen a bunck of cheap ass people in my life. One guy actually stole a .50 book. I saw him lift it and then walk off. But thats not all. He actually came back for seconds. This time I called him on it and he stormed off all indigant as if it were all my fault. Yard sales usually draw the lowest of the low. You were just fortunate the first time to get the good ones

Posted by DJ on Mon, Oct 29, 2007 @ 9:51 am

I can only say more power to you for having the yard sale. I don’t know that I could have dealt with those people. I would have lost it. I’d rather try consignment shops and goodwill before having a yard sale.

Posted by Daniel on Mon, Oct 29, 2007 @ 1:26 pm

People will be people, some good some bad. Isn’t it amazing how our shit becomes some one else’s stuff and/or how some one else’s shit becomes our stuff? Just thinking out loud.

Posted by TJ on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 3:32 pm