Nathan Exposed » The Four Agreements to Life

Get your boots out, this shit is gonna get deep.

A friend of mine was recently telling me about a book called The Four Agreements, and explaining the complex nature of the human mind. According to this way of thinking, our life is one continuous story. We are the narrator. Everyone else around us is a character in the sub-plot.

Everything that we learn is something that is absorbed. Right and wrong, good and bad. We all start out with a clean slate, and then the influences around us shape our way of thinking. They teach us to judge everything by their standards, and then we become clones of them, generation after generation.

Nothing is literal. My perception of reality is different than yours, and so we’re all floating in our own dream-like existence. If we’re fortunate, our stories will cross paths and you will become a sub-plot of my world, and I will become a part of yours.

The Four Agreements are a basic set of rules to achieving inner peace with the world around us. They mostly deal with the negative things, which bring us down in life. The agreements are as follows:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

These are all good points, but #2 and 3 are the ones that hit home with me.

I take a lot of things personally. I’m a very sensitive person, and over time, I’ve learned to embrace my sensitivity rather than trying to deny it. The world needs more sensitive people in it, not less.

Emotion is a natural thing. Only a robot wouldn’t take things personally. But still, I do see the wisdom in trying to drown out other people’s actions and only focusing on my own. I will never be responsible for what other people say or do, but I am responsible for how I respond to it.

The point about assumptions is also valid. So many silly wars have started, all because of mis-communication. Sometimes it’s really hard to ask questions and talk about things. But I do think that conversation is the path to peace. As long as we can talk, we can find common ground. It’s when we stop talking that we lose our power.

I logged onto eBay last night and picked up a copy of this book. The overview of it alone is inspiring to me, I can’t wait to read the full book. Apparently it’s been a bestseller for years. I don’t read many books, so that would explain why I didn’t know about it.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 1:14 pm | Filed in Life, Abundance | Permalink

4 Comments

I love coming to your blog, Nathan. Not only can I get my fix of men in jockstraps (which I don’t really find sexy), poop stories, dream interpretations, and stories about Petey, Rodney, Purr Purr, and Prissy, I also learn about (no sarcasm) self-empowerment, self-actualization, and the power of positivity.

You’re like the gay man’s Tyra Banks!

Posted by Rey Rey on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 4:47 pm

hmm. interesting ideas for sure.

Posted by eliot on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 @ 7:39 pm

I think those 4 agreements are absolutely right on.
And Hey there, Mister, who told you you could resign ?!?
I mean, of course you can if you want, but it surprised me that you just up and quit.
Oh yeah, I shouldn’t take it personally….

Posted by Daniel on Wed, Oct 31, 2007 @ 2:25 am

they are so hard!

and yes. 2 and 3 are so insanely tough. im very bad about both.

Posted by chris on Wed, Oct 31, 2007 @ 1:53 pm