Nathan Exposed » The Art of Analingus

Recently a friend divulged to me that he’d never given or received analingus.

“Holy Cher!” I gasped. “Never?”

I decided a story like this would require a full lesson on my blog.

There are a lot of stereotypes about what is often referred to as a “rim job” in gay culture. The first and obvious fear is that a man isn’t clean down there. I hear you on that one. When I see a movie where two guys come back from a club, all hot and sweaty, and go straight for the rimming, I throw up a little. Just a little.

A shower is mandatory before rimming. I mean that ass had better be sparkling before I put my tongue there. Likewise, if I am going to be rimmed, I make sure my ass is clean enough to eat off (pun!).

You should also make sure you’ve pooped before your shower, and don’t even think about it if you have an upset stomach or you’re gassy! Nu-uh, mister!

Next, there is the smell. No matter how clean it is, an ass does smell like an ass. But let’s not be confused. The smell of ass is not the same as the smell of poop. They are quite different actually. A [clean] ass just smells kind of musty. It doesn’t really smell bad, just different. But I can assure you that it shouldn’t smell anything like nasty poop.

This is where the technique of positioning makes all the difference. In this picture to the right, you will see the wrong way to rim someone. The problem here is that this man’s nose is buried right in the balls. You’re going to get a big whiff of mustiness here. It’s going to stink, no matter how clean the guy is.

The correct way is right below it. This man has paced himself. He has a good angle to dive right in with his tongue and he can balance his nose over the butt crack, where there is very little smell at all. He could probably stand to move a little bit higher, but you get my point.

And finally, when you’re rimming someone, don’t just give little kitten licks. Dive in and eat that ass. Licking the hole is only foreplay. If you really want to rim someone, you need to probe your tongue as deep as you can get it. You will drive your man CA-RAZY when you do that! He’ll be panting and screaming in no time.

As for taste… rimming really doesn’t taste much at all. Again, we’re assuming your guy is clean. The tip of the tongue can only taste sweet flavors. Even though you call a guy “sweet cheeks”, the ass does not produce sugar.

That concludes today’s lesson. Feel free to ask questions or share your own rimming stories/advice in the comments.

Sat, Sep 15, 2007 @ 2:21 am | Filed in Gay, Sex | Permalink

9 Comments

Thank you Nathan

Posted by danny on Sat, Sep 15, 2007 @ 9:09 am

A “wrong” way to rim? I didn’t know!

Posted by Lewis on Sat, Sep 15, 2007 @ 11:53 am

As always, a great story! I’m like Lewis, didn’t know there was a wrong way, but it does make sense.

Posted by chip on Sat, Sep 15, 2007 @ 2:34 pm

Hmmm… This “friend” has a correction: I… I mean “HE” has indeed received a rimjob. I… I mean “HE” has just never given one. There’s something about a nappy hole that just skeeves me… I mean “him” out.

Screw the pronouns… So yeah, I’ve never rimmed. And while I enjoy getting rimmed, I just don’t like the fact that I won’t reciprocate. Kinda not fair, I guess.

And, I kinda like the smell of balls.

Posted by Rey Rey on Sat, Sep 15, 2007 @ 6:07 pm

Yeah, I have to say I totally dig that musty ball smell.
But I’m a rimming virgin. That’s both as a rimmer and a rimmee.
But you brought me a step closer to trying it.

Posted by DEL on Sun, Sep 16, 2007 @ 1:29 am

Aren’t you supposed to use jelly or something?

Posted by jasontt33 on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 @ 9:30 am

I know I’m a little behind with this, but I’ve been without internet for a while and having to catch up on old posts from various bloggers.

I LOVE this about your blogs!

You’re so open and honest, and educational at the same time.

I wish my ex had of read and taken a lesson, not only from this post but the post you had about anal sex.

Cleanliness was NOT one of his best qualities.

Posted by patrick on Sun, Sep 30, 2007 @ 1:28 pm

My fiancee and I were just talking about this. I made the mistake of telling her that her ass smells like ass in the 69 position despite her high personal hygiene levels. I thought the wedding was off. I ran a search on Yahoo! “Does analingus taste bad” and your site came up first. Thanks for vindicating my point. I might be an asshole but I’m still correct in saying my honey pie’s rosebud smells like one. Thanks so much.

Posted by Rich on Sat, Jan 12, 2008 @ 3:42 pm

It’s OK to have your nose in the guys nuts. That mustiness is half the fun.

Posted by thismomentnow on Fri, Mar 28, 2008 @ 1:42 pm