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Today was a nice day, so I took Petey to the Bark Park, which is a fenced area of the city park set aside for dogs. I usually keep Petey on his leash, as he can be a bit awkward around other dogs. But we still have a good time. Well this time around, I was feeling adventurous. Everyone has having a good time with their dogs, playing in the grass and socializing. So I unhooked Petey from his leash and let him run free. The first thing he did was stick his nose in every dog’s asshole. I kept apologizing to people, and finally one woman said “Hey, I don’t care. They’re dogs. Whatever.” Her casual attitude convinced me to loosen up a bit. I let Petey sniff every doghole in the park. He even stuck his head between another dog’s legs, right as that dog was about to piss. I swooped in and grabbed Petey before he was blessed with a golden shower. Whew. Everyone liked Petey, and he was very good with other people. That’s when it happened… Petey ran up to a lady and jumped on her. “OHMYGOD! He got mud on me!” she exclaimed, in an airhead voice that everyone heard. I was embarrassed. I felt like a scolded dog, and if I had a tail, it would have most certainly been between my legs. I was also confused. I could have sworn this lady was on the ground with her dog a few minutes ago. What’s a little mud from my dog going to hurt? I grabbed Petey, put him on his leash, and I was out of there. Out of all the dogs jumping around, she picked mine. Ugh. I know she was just being a cunt. You shouldn’t go to the Bark Park if you’re afraid of a little dirt. But still, it confirmed my social fear that Petey would get a little too excited and bother someone. So I think he’ll be back on the leash for awhile. It’s okay, I didn’t really like watching him sniff all that ass anyway. 
But there is one guy I have to talk about after seeing him in a movie this weekend. His name is Derek Magyar and he is much more than just a pretty face. He is a very talented actor, and he’s smoldering with sexuality in the film “Boy Culture“. I wasn’t even familiar with the film, but it’s actually won a lot of independent film awards and received raving reviews. Derek stars in this story of a hustler who falls in love with his roommate, played by Darryl Stephens (”Noah’s Arc”). Wow, when I typed that out, it sounds like a really lame plot. But trust me on this… “Boy Culture” is a must-see, filled with a very talented cast and very well executed plot and direction. There are many elements that make a good movie, and I think everything came together in harmony for this one. But Derek is what makes it a winner. If you’ve ever heard the term “makes love to the camera”, Derek has mastered it. His mannerisms and subtle gestures are right on target. When the story calls for vulnerability and emotion, you can feel it just from his eyes. The only thing I hate is that Derek is a breeder boy off camera. It shouldn’t really matter, right? Acting is acting. But there is something refreshing when an actor actually is gay, especially a hot one. Then you can really imagine him having sex with another guy. Ah, well… In any case, Derek is about the hottest actor I can think of. It’s not just appearance, it’s the depth of his acting skills that really make him special. Check out “Boy Culture” if you get a chance. It’s on DVD.
Recently a friend divulged to me that he’d never given or received analingus. “Holy Cher!” I gasped. “Never?” I decided a story like this would require a full lesson on my blog. There are a lot of stereotypes about what is often referred to as a “rim job” in gay culture. The first and obvious fear is that a man isn’t clean down there. I hear you on that one. When I see a movie where two guys come back from a club, all hot and sweaty, and go straight for the rimming, I throw up a little. Just a little. A shower is mandatory before rimming. I mean that ass had better be sparkling before I put my tongue there. Likewise, if I am going to be rimmed, I make sure my ass is clean enough to eat off (pun!). You should also make sure you’ve pooped before your shower, and don’t even think about it if you have an upset stomach or you’re gassy! Nu-uh, mister! Next, there is the smell. No matter how clean it is, an ass does smell like an ass. But let’s not be confused. The smell of ass is not the same as the smell of poop. They are quite different actually. A [clean] ass just smells kind of musty. It doesn’t really smell bad, just different. But I can assure you that it shouldn’t smell anything like nasty poop.
The correct way is right below it. This man has paced himself. He has a good angle to dive right in with his tongue and he can balance his nose over the butt crack, where there is very little smell at all. He could probably stand to move a little bit higher, but you get my point. And finally, when you’re rimming someone, don’t just give little kitten licks. Dive in and eat that ass. Licking the hole is only foreplay. If you really want to rim someone, you need to probe your tongue as deep as you can get it. You will drive your man CA-RAZY when you do that! He’ll be panting and screaming in no time. As for taste… rimming really doesn’t taste much at all. Again, we’re assuming your guy is clean. The tip of the tongue can only taste sweet flavors. Even though you call a guy “sweet cheeks”, the ass does not produce sugar. That concludes today’s lesson. Feel free to ask questions or share your own rimming stories/advice in the comments.
If you’re a fan of Alfred Hitchcock like I am, prepare yourself for a Hitchcock overload this coming week. Some of his greatest works are going to be playing on AMC, starting this Sunday night! All times are Eastern: The Birds Dial M for Murder Family Plot Frenzy The Man Who Knew Too Much Marnie Psycho Rear Window Rope Saboteur Torn Curtain The Trouble with Harry Vertigo
My home office faces the street, which is very busy in our neighborhood. There is a school about 1 mile down the street, and during this time of day, it’s usually congested with the cars of Moms picking up their kids. But one Mom stands out from the crowd — she walks to get her daughter everyday. At a little after 2PM, I see her making her way down the street. About half an hour later, she comes walking back with her daughter, who is chattering away. I never really thought about it at first, but once I did, I was kind of touched by it. It’s probably the most meaningful part of the day for that little girl. When she gets older, she’ll always remember those walks with Mom. Walking also encourages conversation, so I bet the daughter finds it easier to open up. Best of all, it’s good exercise that will keep them both healthy. Her daughter will probably grow up to associate walking with happy memories, and will be more likely to continue the habit as an adult. I realize that not all adults can do this for their kids. And I don’t know if this Mom does it by choice, or if she just doesn’t have a car. But I guess the reason doesn’t matter, because the bottom line is that she is doing it. Just one of those tiny observations about life around me, which I’m usually too self-absorbed to notice.
As a part of her Presidential campaign, Hillary Clinton is going to be laying out her new plans for an improved healthcare system this Monday in Des Moines. While Bill Clinton was in office in 1993, Hillary attempted to put together a plan that would require all employers to provide insurance coverage to their employees. The insurance industry put up a big fight, and unfortunately Hillary’s plan failed to gain support. Now that healthcare has become a very big issue in America, where 48 million people are uninsured, Hillary hopes that her new proposal will enforce change in the healthcare system. Details of the plan have been kept under wraps, but I’m confident that Hillary’s plans will be a step in the right direction. The price of insurance in the U.S. is outrageous. I know so many people who can’t afford their own insurance, and they have to really weigh out their options any time they get sick. In a world of modern medicine, I don’t see why anyone should have to think twice about going to see a doctor. But the high cost of office visits and drugs makes people have choose between finances and health. Many times, the healthcare industry abuses its power and uses it to get richer off the poor. I’m all for people being prosperous, but you shouldn’t make your living ripping off people for your services. What ever happened to helping out your fellow human beings when they are ill? I have my own personal experience with this issue. While working for a small design firm years ago, I single-handedly convinced my employer to offer health coverage to all full-time employees. I pushed for it, and got it! I’ll be curious to hear what Hillary has to say about her plans for healthcare in America.
Japanese condom manufacturer Ondo Creation is now selling its flavored condoms (mint, strawberry, chocolate and banana) with an 18 minute music CD to help set the mood during sex. The music starts out slow, then gets increasingly faster, and finally slows back down again. This new condom + music combination will be sold in popular nightspots throughout Hong Kong, London, Paris, Stockholm, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Singapore. I think as a novelty it’s a great idea because I’m all for anything that will encourage people to use condoms. But I just found it funny that the CD was only 18 minutes long. Heh. You can hear samples of the music on Ondo Creation’s website. [Source]
He called Ms. Ebbert to the front of the plane, and verbally humiliated her in front of the passengers, then finally sent her back to her seat, resulting in a very awkward flight. She has requested an apology from the airline, and they have refused, stating they did nothing wrong. I was able to schedule an interview with the flight attendant who started this incident, Mr. Douche. Below is a transcript: —— Nathan: I understand that you asked Ms. Ebbert to leave the plane, go home and change her clothes, and then come back for a later flight. Tell me about this. Mr. Douche: Well, she was dressed in a provocative manner and her revealing clothing was offensive. Nathan: Uh-huh. I see. Now, Mr. Douche, are you a certified member of the Fashion Police? Mr. Douche: The Fashion What? Nathan: The Fashion Police. You are required to undergo 2 years of training on the red carpet and be certified & licensed before you can be a member of the Fashion Police. Now were you trained, certified, and licensed to be handing out tickets for fashion violations that day? Mr. Douche: Well… um… no. Nathan: I see. Well, then, you are in direct violation of Paragraph 187 of the Fashion Police Code of Ethics. Let me ask you another question - was Ms. Ebbert endangering the flight in any way? Mr. Douche: Yes, she was endangering it with her sexuality. Nathan: On the Southwest Airlines website, it is clearly stated as to what is allowed and what is not allowed on a flight. Are there any rules regarding the dress code that Ms. Ebbert violated? Mr. Douche: The code of decency. Nathan: Uh-huh. Well, you don’t have a very strong argument here. Do you regret treating Ms. Ebbert the way that you did? Mr. Douche: Absolutely not. The way she shows off her body is immoral. I was doing my part to protect the other passengers from her sinful ways. Nathan: So now passengers are required to meet your standards of morality in order to be on a Southwest Airlines flight? It isn’t enough that they paid money to be on the flight? On today’s episode of The Ellen Degeneres Show, Ms. Ebbert was a guest and discussed the incident. In response, Ellen showed a Southwest Airlines campaign from 1972 that had flight attendants wearing short skirts. If this “immoral clothing” was acceptable 35 years ago, why is it suddenly unacceptable today? Mr. Douche: Ellen Degeneres is a homosexual. Her opinion doesn’t count. Nathan: First of all, this has nothing to do with Ellen’s sexual preference. Second, this isn’t an opinion. The fact remains that 35 years ago, Southwest Airlines did have an ad campaign with flight attendants in skirts. Regardless of anyone’s opinion, if the airlines itself displayed this clothing, it’s a pretty tough argument to say it’s wrong these days. And back to the main point, you really don’t have the right to ask a person to leave a flight unless he or she is dangerous to the other passengers, or is making threats. Mr. Douche: There is no point in debating this. I stand by my decision and Southwest Airlines has backed my decision in a public press release. Nathan: Uh-huh, well I guess that settles it, Mr. Douche. On an unrelated note, I have a dog named Petey. We once lived by a neighbor who sported a “W04″ sticker on his car. Petey instinctively liked to shit in this person’s front yard every time he passed by. I never trained him to do this, he just knew it was right. Let’s bring Petey in the room and see how he responds to you. Petey enters the room, walks over to Mr. Douche, and lifts his back leg. Nathan: Thank you, Mr. Douche. That’s all the time we have for today.
Does anybody remember Eudora? I loved that program. So lightweight, so uncomplicated. It was a program for reading and writing e-mail. That’s it. You could have 4,000 messages in your mailbox and the program still launched in seconds. I loved it. Well the days of Eudora are long gone, but it’s currently being re-invented using the code structure of Mozilla Thunderbird. Not a bad idea. If you recall, the once popular Netscape was headed to the graveyard when it was given fresh life by Mozilla Firefox. In just a few short years, Firefox has managed to win over thousands of web users. Maybe Eudora will get new life too. I really like Thunderbird. It’s my mail program of choice, actually. If I could combine the features that I loved about Eudora with Thunderbird, that would be pure Heaven to me. We’ll see where this goes. It’s still in the early beta stages, under the codename Penelope. If you didn’t know, a program always has a codename before it is finalized. In the mean time, I’ve customized the new mail sound in Thunderbird to play the classic Eudora mail sound. It’s such a happy tune.
For all you New York readers out there, I wanted to let you know about this awesome benefit my friend Rey has helped organize:
SKOOL’d Is Back!! Raising Funds, Awareness for LGBT Youth in Need NEW YORK, NY - In the ongoing fight to end homelessness for youths in New York City, SKOOL’d is back in session for the third year in a row and is promising to be bigger than ever. Hosted by Heatherette’s Richie Rich with special appearances by multiplatinum-selling Universal recording artists Mya and JoJo, SKOOL’d will be held at SOL (609 W. 29th Street, NYC) on Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2007. JD from Le Tigre will be the DJ. This year, SKOOL’d aims to raise funds and awareness for these two organizations that help LGBT youth in need: The Reciprocity Foundation, a two year old organization that works to train and place homeless youth in jobs within the creative, entertainment, and fashion industries; and The Ali Forney Center, NYC’s primary emergency housing center for homeless LGBT youth that provides refuge, leadership/educational/vocational training, and HIV prevention programs. SKOOL’d began in July 2005 as a project of The Serpentine Society, the LGBT alumni organization of the University of Virginia (UVa), in order to support UVa’s LGBT Student Resource Center. It has since expanded its focus to promote and assist LGBT youth-related charities in New York City and throughout the United States. Due to the success of SKOOL’d, its planning committee has grown to include not only UVa alumni but also other committed friends and philanthropists and its host committee has attracted a number of notable New York City personalities, including photographer Patrick McMullan and authors Tom Dolby and John Berendt. Sponsored by Genre Magazine, HX Magazine, and Universal Records with cocktails provided from 7pm to 9pm by Christiania Vodka and Martin Miller’s Gin, SKOOL’d promises to be a star-studded event. Tickets for the 21+ event are $30 in advance/$40 at the door and can be purchased at www.skoold.org. The Ali Forney Center (AFC) The Reciprocity Foundation http://www.skoold.org
 ©2005-2008 Nathan Exposed . All Rights Reserved Meet the Cast
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This is where the technique of positioning makes all the difference. In this picture to the right, you will see the wrong way to rim someone. The problem here is that this man’s nose is buried right in the balls. You’re going to get a big whiff of mustiness here. It’s going to stink, no matter how clean the guy is.
On a recent Southwest Airlines flight, 23-year-old Kyla Ebbert was asked by a flight attendant to leave the plane because her clothing was too “provocative” and “offensive”. The temperature outside was 110 degrees and Ms. Ebbert was wearing a short skirt, which the Southwest employee felt was inappropriate.
