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People die every day. It’s tragic, but true. And every day, those of us who live might pass up death by a matter of minutes. It’s startling how quickly fate can change. Tonight Rodney was taking Petey on a walk. Petey stopped at the mailbox next door and sniffed it out. He loves to sniff everything, especially at this house (which is empty, by the way). 20 minutes later, we heard this horrible crash. A driver had went up onto the sidewalk, mowed down that very mailbox, and then came to a stop a few feet past it. We don’t know if he was drunk or not, but the amount of police cars that came suggests he was. The mailbox was busted right off its post, and there was glass and car parts everywhere. What if Rodney and Petey were there when that car struck? Rodney could have possibly been killed, or at minimum, seriously injured. And our little doggie Petey would undoubtedly be torn to shreds. It’s very scary if you think about it. What a difference 20 minutes makes. What if Rodney had waited a little later to go out? He could have been distracted by a phone call, by a TV show, or even by me. Anything could have changed his fate, but thankfully, it didn’t… and nobody died tonight. At least not here.
Some random facts about sex: - Drinking a glass of pomegranate juice each day increases blood flow and helps prevent prostate cancer. In addition, studies have shown that men who started drinking a glass of it each day has more frequent, harder erections. It also helps reverse erectile dysfunction. Bottom line: drink your pomegranate juice! There are many rewards to it. (Sidenote: If you suffer from erectile dysfunction, it can actually be a sign that your blood flow is blocked, which could mean more serious problems with your heart. Get it checked out!) - A 50mg tablet of Zinc taken each day helps keep your immune system healthy to fight off a cold or flu. My friend Lewis recommended it to me last winter, and I haven’t been sick since! But as a bonus side effect, it can also make you produce more semen. - Americans have the least frequent amount of sex. The average couple has sex 85 times per year, while people in Europe have it around 105 times per year… that’s twice a week, every week!
With a vote of 23% in the poll, readers chose the gluteus maximus as their favorite physical feature on a man. The cock n’ balls came in at a close 2nd place, and at times was tied with the face and/or lips. So without further ado, let’s celebrate the ASS…
Let’s take a trip in the time machine back to the 1950’s. Guys were the “man of the house” and the women were just there to cook and clean. God forbid they should have any say in the decisions or choices. Now fast forward to 2007. I’m upstairs working when I hear the doorbell, proceeded by knocking. Everyone knows to call ahead before coming over, including neighbors, so I knew it couldn’t be any of my friends. As usual, I ignore the door, knowing it’s nobody I want to see. The knocking and doorbell ringing continued, so I began to worry that maybe one of the neighborhood kids was injured and needed help. I came downstairs and opened the door to find a man dressed up in a suite, a big shit eating grin on his face. “Hi, are you the man of the house?” has asked, extending his hand forward. “Oh, does that mean my partner is ‘the woman’?” I asked sarcastically. I slammed the door in his face and went back upstairs. Ugh. I know I was being harsh, but that’s so obnoxious to assume every man must have a wife. Rodney and I treat each other as equals and we’re both the men of the house. Furthermore, even if I did have a wife, I wouldn’t call myself the “man of the house” because I feel like that’s belittling to them. “I don’t know many Irish people, but then again, I don’t hang out in bars.” Who said it? It was me. Yes, I’m terrible. And yes, I was joking. But you should have been there. The timing and context was perfection. (Sorry, Mr. Bee. But you know you had it coming for that dildo joke.)
In this particular episode, I was standing outside the entrance in a t-shirt that stopped just past my balls. I’m not someone who would ever go to a nudist type of place (sorry Lewis), so I was very nervous. There were 2 girls I knew sitting in the grass, telling me to come in. I hesitated, feeling shy that everyone would see my package. “Don’t worry,” one of them assured me, “nobody’s paying attention.” Then I saw two guys from my school. Jock types, football players. They were standing there naked and they leaned in to kiss each other. I was just inches away from them. My t-shirt started to protrude out and I felt embarrassed. I tried to make a joke to pass off my raging hard-on. “Well, I guess this t-shirt isn’t going to cover much now,” I said. The 2 girls giggled, agreeing with me. The next thing I remember was being inside the garden. It was like a different world. Everyone there was someone I knew when I was in school. Oddly, I felt accepted in this garden, whereas I never felt accepted in school. That’s all I remember.
Inspired by Daniel’s post, what’s your favorite part of a man’s body? Choose from the poll below. Votes are completely anonymous.
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5 Comments
I recently had a dream that took place in a secret garden. Like so many of my dreams, it took place in the past tense, in my hometown, when I was a teenager.
