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Fortune cookies know everything.
“Do you still find me attractive?” Now if you know me, you’ll know that’s exactly the kind of random, trick question type of thing I would say during a moment of silence, just to mess with your head. “Uh-um… yeah,” he replied. Fast forward to the end of the meal. We both got fortune cookies with our bill. I usually don’t even open them, but this time, I decided to. The message said: “You are beautiful.” I smiled and laughed. “What does it say?” Rodney asked curiously. I turned up my nose and said “I don’t think I’ll tell you.” Rodney just laughed and showed me his… “Pay attention to subtle questions.” This was classic! I turned mine over and showed it to him. “Here’s what you were supposed to say,” I remarked sarcastically. We both laughed. It was a good time and fortunes were right on target. 
Every year, I swear that next season, I will not participate in the lying, backstabbing, cheating, conniving, bitchy world that is Big Brother. And every year, like a little crack addict whore, I’m back on the couch, watching it religiously. (No offense to any little crack addict whores that read my blog.) Anyway, this post inspired me to talk about it. I hope that all of Kail’s kids “choose the homosexual lifestyle” just to piss her off. I hope that Jessica and Joe both get laryngitis so I don’t have to hear them talk (although I will admit that Joe can be very witty at times). I hope Dustin’s finger gets stuck up his nose so he’ll learn to stop picking it. I hope that Mike, Nick, and Zach get caught up in some crazy poolside orgy. Oh, and I hope somebody will force feed Daniele food so a brisk wind won’t blow her away. And this is just the first week.
Okay, one more vague, cryptic, porn-related message: If I had an alias name, what should it be? Freaky Frank? Moby Dick? Sloppy Sam? (Damn those are awful.) And no… I’m not starring in gay porn flick… but yes, this is porn related… which I will explain at a later time (maybe). Maybe I should just go by the name Tom to really mess with somebody. Oh, hey, I could be Titillating Tom! UPDATE: How about something with “Mister” in it? I love to be called that. Mister Big? Heh. Mister E (like “mystery”.. okay, I know… stupid). Mister N? No, I still like Mister Big. It’s like Sex and the City meets gay porn.
Alright, I know this will sound odd, but I have a question for personal reasons: Is anyone here who reads my blog into “thug porn”? When I say you’re into it, I mean that you have a specific love for it, that you watch it on a regular basis, and you are familiar with it. If so, send me an e-mail: secrets [at] nathanexposed.com. You don’t have to give me any personal info about yourself and I will explain what this pertains to when you write. Thanks.
This video is hilarious! For all you people who say I’m the poop expert… you haven’t seen anything yet! Don’t worry, the video isn’t graphic. It’s just a teddy bear on a toilet. But the narration is awesome. Heh.
If you have allergies, nasal congestion, sinus problems, or even a cold, I’m going to tell you about the most awesome device for getting rid of them. It’s better than any medicine you’ll find, and it’s been around for centuries in Asia and India. It’s called a Neti Pot, and you may have seen it on 2 recent episodes of Oprah. Essentially it’s a small pot that you fill with warm water and mix in an isotonic saline solution (which is available in packets at your drug store). The pot has a spout on the end, which you stick in your nostril. The water will flow up your nasal cavity, all the way to the top, then stream out the opposite nostril. This completely cleans out any blockage, build-up, dust, and pollen. It also helps prevent the common cold. You repeat with the other nostril and let it do the same thing. Everyone who does it loves it, and it becomes your daily routine. You will feel and breathe much better! I bought mine at Walgreens for $15 and it came with a 30 day supply of the isotonic saline solution. When I run out, I can just buy more there. The pot is washable and obviously re-usable. I cannot rave enough about it! Here’s a hilarious video demonstration that had me laughing out loud. Yes, it’s funny to see someone do it… but it really is effective:
There is a ton of buzz over the significance of today because, in terms of numerology, it is the luckiest day of the century. I haven’t delved too deeply into numerology, but what I’ve read has been particularly accurate in my case. So perhaps it will turn out to be a good day for many. But something even stronger about today is how the law of attraction plays into it. If you’re familiar with it, or have been reading along on my blog, you know that what we think about, we bring about. So essentially the things we put our energy into come true. With that being the case, if you believe 07-07-07 is a lucky day for you, it probably will be. But also, whenever a large group of people focuses their energy on something, it can create a powerful ripple effect that spreads to the masses. What if we all felt lucky, and felt inspired to do things on a particular day? Well, if you’ve been thinking about it, here’s your chance. Start out 07-07-07 by telling yourself it’s going to be your lucky day, and everything good comes to you. I do that every day.
Hello all! I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th! We had friends visiting this week, so I’m just getting caught up on things. I have something for you to ponder. I was watching this video about fear and I felt inspired afterwards. It talked about how fear runs our lives, and after I thought about it, I realized it really does. So let me ask you this… If you woke up today and found out that you could do ANYTHING without fear, what would you do? I bet things will pop in your head as soon as you read this. When they come to mind that quickly, that means they are right there boiling beneath the surface. You don’t even have to think, they just come right up. Do you see how passionate you are? There are things you want to do so badly that a simple question makes them re-surface. So now ask yourself WHY you haven’t done them yet, and when you ever will.
Being Catholic myself, I’ll be the first to admit the Vatican, and the whole church in general, can be a bit … well… CRAZY. But the current Pope has issued a new set of commandments, aimed at drivers, and I think they are actually pretty good. I do think it’s waaaaay over the top to call them “commandments”, as this is the first church-endorsed set to be released since Biblical times… but whatever, here they are: The Drivers’ 10 Commandments: 1. You shall not kill. 2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. 3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events. 4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents. 5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination and an occasion of sin. 6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. 7. Support the families of accident victims. 8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness. 9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. 10. Feel responsible toward others. ——-
There was a father in his yard with his two sons. I’d guess they are ages 3 and 5. Each child had a BB gun, and the father was teaching them to aim at a nearby tree. Imagine seeing a 3 year old holding up a gun to his eye, trying to aim it. The gun is bigger than he is. That’s the good ol’ southern values I always hear about. Teach your kids right and get them started young. The sooner they know how to use a weapon, the better. Nothing bad could ever come of this scenario.
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This past weekend, Rodney and I went to a Chinese restaurant. While waiting for our food, I dropped that ever-so dreaded question on him — 
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It’s like an enema for your nose!
Whenever somebody is outside in their yard, Petey goes nuts barking. Today, he was being especially loud, so I looked out the window to see what was going on.
