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Two of my readers recently e-mailed me some interesting questions, and one asked if I would either post my response on the blog or send it back via e-mail. Well, I think they are both questions worth discussing, so I’m answering each here. Obviously, I won’t include their names. So for Question #1, I was asked how a man should prepare to receive anal sex. That’s a great question and it’s something every gay man has to ask at some point. I’ll go ahead and divulge this little secret - the first time I had sex with a guy, he wasn’t “prepared”. My dick came out looking like a fudgesicle. True story. He was mortified. I was (surprisingly) not that freaked out. The only thing I cared about was making it to the finish line. You should start by making sure you have a healthy diet. Your poop should be solid and pass without strain. You should also have a fairly clean swipe on your toilet paper. If you don’t, it may be due to drinking too much coffee or not getting enough fiber in your diet. It could also be from stress. There are many factors, but the bottom line is that a clean swipe is a good sign. If you have clean bowel movements, it means preparing for anal sex will be much easier. So let’s assume everything was clean. Make sure you have a bowel movement prior to having sex. Then, I recommend using a lubricated finger and poking around up there. If you do feel something, remove your finger and see if you can squeeze it out. Be gentle and don’t hurt yourself. I recommend this because if there’s anything on your finger, that means the sex will be messy. Prevention is your friend! So let’s say everything was good up there. Take a shower or bath, whichever you prefer. Pay attention to cleaning your hole, but don’t be aggressive because you can tear the lining. Just clean it like you normally would. You’ve probably heard a lot about enemas. Well, enemas are not advised. First, they can damage the inner lining and cause irritation. If you do them often, you can lose the ability to have natural bowel movements. Also, if you aren’t clean enough to have anal sex after a normal bowel movement, the enema will usually just make it worse. If you’re eating healthy and have a normal bowel cycle, preparing for anal sex should be easy! Just be sure you’re clean first, because you’ll feel confident, and your partner will appreciate it too. Life is not always perfect. Remember, I ended up with poop on my dick during my first time. These things do happen, but just laugh them off and go on! And, as I must always say, be sure to have safe sex! No excuses, ever! Your partner should respect your health and his own. Here are some helpful links to get you started:
Happy Humping! 
I had been working to teach Petey how to lay down on command, but he was having a hard time. He already knew how to jump up and sit. But I finally taught him to lay and I put it on video. This made us very happy.
I think it’s great that the U.S. celebrates a Mexican holiday, especially since it has no direct tie to any events here. A common misconception is that Cinco de Mayo is Mexican Independence Day, but it isn’t. The literal translation is “Fifth of May” and it marks the anniversary of when Mexico won a victory against France in the Battle of Puebla during 1862. The U.S. has a huge amount of people who are from Mexico or with a family heritage that links back to Mexico. So I’m happy that we do commemorate a day that was very important in their history. Also, we closed on our house last May 5, and I distinctly remember a Cinco de Mayo party that was going on at the office of our real estate agents. So I also associate those fond memories with today. Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone!
Last month, a local teen e-mailed me because he wants to be a website designer. He is a Junior in high school and was working on a project that required him to contact a person in his field of interest and ask them questions. So he contacted me and I was happy to participate. I have a soft spot for aspiring teens because I started my career when I was 15, and it was really difficult gaining respect. So naturally I want to treat him with all the respect he deserves, so he can gain a healthy sense of accomplishment and confidence. He sent over some questions, and asked for me to send my response to each. Well, I can be long winded at times. I think I told him the whole story of life. HA! I covered every topic thoroughly and made certain to fill him in on all the little secrets that nobody shared with me when I was his age. I never heard back and I figured I had really overwhelmed him and maybe even scared him away. Keep in mind, I didn’t tell him a bunch of negative things. But I did explain that designers can be very competitive and cut throat, and I encouraged him to stay true to his spirit and always be an honest business person. I also told him that designers tend to fall into jobs that make them unhappy (we’re very free spirits) so I encouraged him to never stay in a job that made him miserable because life is too short. Well a few weeks passed, but today I received a very touching card [hand-made] in the mail from him! I guess I didn’t scare him afterall. It read: The advice you shared in response to my questions was extremely helpful, and I will surely take it to heart. I truly believe that your advice will help me grow not only as a designer, but as a person. Awww, shux. That really meant a lot to me, and I thought this story was worth sharing.
This is not the opening line to a joke. I have a lot of readers who are dog-owners, so I figure I can just throw any question out there and get some feedback. Our dog is a miniature schnauzer, almost 2 years old. He only eats dry food and we are consistent with it. His bathroom habits are predictable and normal. But sometimes he lets out these wet farts and I think he might have anal leakage… but I’m not certain. When he farts, the smell is fierce! Let me tell you. But everyone farts, so it’s normal for dogs too. But sometimes I’ll smell something horrid and see a wet spot on the sheet…. Let me back up. We keep 2 layers of bed sheets on the couch. I know it looks really stupid, but a lot of people with dogs do cover the furniture with sheets so they can be washed. Anyway, I’ll look at the sheet on the couch and there’s a wet spot. It’s ass juice. It doesn’t appear that there’s a problem here, at least not a health one. He doesn’t seem to have any problems like an upset stomach, and the gas isn’t constant. But I’ve don’t recall any of the dogs having wet farts when I was a kid. Does anyone else have a dog that does this?
Every culture or community has its habits. From the first day I started socializing with other gay men, I noticed a trend in the amount of sexual dialog between them. That was 10 years ago and it hasn’t changed at all. One thing gay men seem to do a lot is hit on other gay men. I haven’t quite figured it out. I think in the traditional “straight” culture it’s considered off limits to do that. For example, a man and a woman go to a party. There’s no way you’re going to make a sexual remark to either one of them, because you know that wouldn’t be “acceptable” etiquette. These rules don’t apply when you’re gay. This has always made me uncomfortable. I’ve been touched more than I’d like to admit, I can tell you that. Groping my crotch, slapping my ass, pinching my nipples. What do I look like to you? On a very optimistic scale, I will say it’s mildly flattering. But it irks me that people would naturally assume that since I’m gay, I’m automatically open to this. Did I grab your dick? No. Dick I slap your ass? No. Did I give any indication that I would like to be touched by you? No. Show a little respect. This mindset carries over to the internet too. In fact, I think men feel even more confident to say sexual things from the security of our own computer. Pay attention to the signs. If you’re making remarks to someone, and he never says them back, you need to stop. You’re making him uncomfortable. The same applies in person. If he’s never touched you in a sexual way, figure it out… you’re making him violated. Every person has their comfort zone. I think we should keep ourselves in check and be considerate of other people’s preferences. I tend to approach people in the same mannerism I approach clients… with a hand shake. It’s safe and appropriate. Now I’m also a hugger, but only after I get the vibe that it’s “okay”. I like hugs a lot, in fact. They are physical, but not sexual.
I love this, because once I thought about it, I realized how powerful and true it is… ——– “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength but by perseverance.” - H. Jackson Brown
This story caught my eye, and it really sets the tone for how the internet will be influencing our next election more than it ever has before. As the story goes, a man named Joe who has wholeheartedly supported Barack Obama started a MySpace page using Barack’s name. It was an unofficial page and it racked up 160,000 friends (it has dropped to 20,000 now). Barack’s team had actually joined up with Joe and they had access to the password so they could go in and add their own content. So recently Joe changed the password, locking out Barack’s team. That concerned them, so they demanded that Joe hand over ownership of the page. He refused, saying Barack would have to pay $39,000 plus up to $10,000 in fees. That’s $49,000 for a MySpace page. Barack’s team refused to pay up, and contacted MySpace. Well, Barack won. MySpace provided full access to Barack’s team, so they now own the page. It’s a really odd situation. We naturally assume that one side is wrong, and the other is right. But in this case, I think they are both a little wrong. It sounds like bullying for Barack’s team to take over a MySpace page. This guy created the page, and he can do whatever he wants with it. If he doesn’t want Barack’s team to have access, that’s his choice. This goes back to the rule of supply and demand, which people have used for centuries. Barack’s team had a demand, and Joe could supply it. Maybe this supply wasn’t worth that much money, so they could have negotiated something lower. I think there was a better way to go about this. It seems like such a silly, insignificant thing to debate about. But if Barack would bully some guy on MySpace, I have to wonder who else he will bully on a larger scale? I do still like Barack. If I had to vote right now, I would probably still choose him. But luckily we still have over a year to form an opinion… I do think a small story has relevance in the way he goes about things. Your thoughts?
It’s been awhile since I mentioned what’s going on with my choice to work for myself, so here goes… March was my first month. It was pretty good financially. I’d say I broke even. I made just enough to get by with bills, mortgage, etc. I was satisfied with that. April really sucked. I was way in the hole financially. I hardly made a cent, actually. I did my best to remain optimistic, but it’s pretty easy to drive yourself crazy when you’re home all day. A lot of potential clients were on vacation, spring break, etc. Plus Easter. Work was the last thing people wanted to do, and here I was waiting. May is looking pretty damn hot, though! I’ve nailed a deal with an ongoing client that will keep me busy for at least 4 weeks solid. That means if I worked non-stop on his projects, I’d have enough to fill every day this month. I’ve also joined forces with Best Gay Blogs. I’ll be helping with their website on a weekly basis, and in return, a banner ad for my design services is rotating at the top of their site. If you ever wanted to know my full name, now is your chance. The Realtor team that sold us our house has contacted me for an estimate on my services. They would like me to doing ongoing work for them to increase their exposure online. It’s practically a full-time job in itself. I have a full website re-design for a client sitting here on my desk, ready to dive into. It’s a month’s worth of work too, and they have committed. I also do volunteer design work for a non-profit HIV/AIDS organization on a weekly basis. I’ve been doing it for 2 months now. I do everything for free, and they make me happier than any other client I’ve ever had. They are such sweet people. Wow, I had to write all this out to see just how lucky I am. Yes, there have been some bumps in the road. But I would not trade it for anything and I don’t believe I will ever be an “employee” again. Life is so much better when you take full responsibility for your own destiny. Sometimes you fail, but when you succeed, the feeling is SO AMAZING.
I read an article several months ago about prolonging a dying/already dead person’s life by inducing hypothermia. I meant to blog about it, but never got around to it. Then tonight, I read yet another article about the topic, here. I wish I had the old article, because it brought up a lot of interesting questions. First being, what exactly is death? We’re now finding that, by using extreme methods, a person can be revived completely after his heart has stopped. The edges of “death” are blurring more and more. It’s a topic that challenges the medical field, science, and even religion. When are we really dead? And if we do have souls, where do they go when we’re pronounced dead? What if we’re revived? What happens then? It’s a very challenging topic, but I am very happy that new methods are being found to keep people alive. Some people are at peace with death. Whenever they go, they are fine with it. But I’m one who would fight to the end. I wish I could say I’ve made peace with it, but I haven’t. I want to LIVE!… and you can be assured that I’m going to!
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