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Having said that, Jerry Falwell died today at age 73. While I’m sympathetic to his family and friends, I am also relieved to know that there is one less person in the world using religion as a forum for spreading hate. Hate is a disease that Jerry infected the world with for decades. You can dress it up and say it’s the word of God, but I don’t buy it. I don’t believe that God encourages hate. Jerry has been very powerful at pushing religion into politics since the 1970’s, and he’s definitely made the world a more hateful place. It’s amazing to think how different the world might have been if Jerry never got into politics. I wasn’t around in the 1970’s, but I know it was a very political decade, focused on giving all Americans equal rights. Religion should have never been allowed into politics. I believe that everyone has a uniquely positive gift in life. I’m sure Jerry had something good to contribute. Unfortunately, I think he chose the wrong path. Having a spiritual connection is a wonderful thing. I’m not Anti-God. I just believe that religion is a private choice, and should not be forced upon American citizens through politics. Jerry felt otherwise, and used conservative politics to accomplish things. So ta-ta and farewell, Jerry.
We have a neighborhood bunny who has decided our backyard is the perfect place to poop. He has his favorite spot picked out, and he stops by nightly. One day, I was taking Petey for a walk around the backyard (this means I’m waiting for him to pee or poop). He came across something on the ground and started chewing it up. I thought it was just dirt or grass. He likes those. “Petey! What’s in your mouth?” I yelled, as if he would answer. He looked up at me with a doggy grin while little pieces of bunny poop fell out the sides as he chewed. “Bad dog!” I had to stick my fingers in there and dig out what I could. You would have thought he hit the jackpot, he loves bunny poop! In his defense, it does look kind of like his dry food. Petey has never been a poop eater, so maybe he just thought he was taste testing a new flavor of food. Anyway, I see the bunny from time to time. He says “Howdy” to me. How neighborly!
Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we? The year is 1998. It’s summer. I’m a teenager, living in a small Illinois town. I’ve developed a knack for creating websites on this amazing thing called the internet. The internet has been growing in popularity for several years, but it’s still very new and not widely accepted outside the circle of technology nuts like myself. One industry that really neglected to jump on the bandwagon was the music industry. But I had bright ideas for the future. One of my favorite singers was a young R&B diva. I won’t say her name because Google is very quick to pick up keywords from my blog. But she shared the same first name as a woman with the last name Lewinsky. Ring a bell anyone? Anyway, her sophomore CD was coming out that summer and she had a huge #1 hit duet, which later won a Grammy. This singer had absolutely no presence on the internet. Her record label, Arista Records, didn’t seem to think the web was a useful place to promote music. I decided to take matters into my own hands and create a fan site for her. I posted everything I could find about her, including pictures, audio, and video. I also kept up on exclusive news as soon as it rolled in. By 1999, I had built the largest, most comprehensive web archive of this singer. I orchestrated a huge internet campaign for a single that I firmly believed would be a hit. It was released as a promo to radio stations, but it received hardly any airplay and was very slow to take off. In fact, the label canned the plan to release it commercially. But I forged ahead and kept the buzz going. It jumped right to #1, was released as a video, and the single finally saw the light of day. I truly believe I played a role in this. Arista finally took notice of my tactics. They caught on that I had this huge internet following when they didn’t even have a website for her. They contacted me personally and gave me the title of “Official Fan Site”. There was a banner on their website, and I received all promotional material as soon as it was available. That summer, 1 year after I’d started the site, I was given a backstage pass to meet this singer when she played in St. Louis. When we met, it was a dream come true for me. That sad thing was that she didn’t seem to know who I was, or have any idea that I had built such a massive internet fan base for her. But I was blinded at that time. Afterall, here I was meeting my favorite singer. In 2000, I decided to take bold steps. She was working on a new CD and I believed I should take this to the next level. I contacted my connection at Arista and negotiated access to her manager’s private phone number. I called her manager and told them I wanted to handle the internet marketing for her next CD. They thought it over and agreed. This was it! I was going to be set for success! I had just graduated from high school, and this was my big break into a career in music. I was so happy. A couple of things took place in this singer’s personal life and her CD was delayed until 2003. When I started hearing buzz about it, I immediately called her management. But something had changed. They no longer returned my calls, I no longer received updates about her career. Her new CD came out that summer, complete with a very crappy website design, done by somebody else. I tried to be cool about it, but I wasn’t. I took it as a very personal rejection because I had been a very dedicated fan, I was far more capable than the designer who created the site, and I just didn’t understand what happened. Looking back, I realize it probably wasn’t personal at all. The designer probably had some type of contract or agreement with the record label. I noticed he had worked on other sites for their artists. But rejection is never an easy pill to swallow, especially when you invest your heart into something. I didn’t like the flakiness of her management. They could have returned my calls and just told me what happened. I don’t believe being a celebrity excuses you from common courtesy. So that’s my story about music and how it changed the course of my career. It’s amazing to think that if things had gone a different way, I may have been in a completely different place now. I’m quite happy with my life, though. So I guess all’s well that ends well. There is a lot of buzz surrounding “natural” ways to clean your home. Consumers are getting wise to this and looking for alternative cleaners that are earth friendly and safe to breathe in. Did you know that 3 simple products can handle most of the cleaning? You probably already have them in your kitchen. Distilled White Vinegar: The Power Cleaner All you need is one of those plastic water bottles with an adjustable spray nozzle (make sure the bottle has measurements on the side; most do). Pour an equal amount of water and vinegar into the bottle. It doesn’t matter how much you use, just make sure it’s balanced. You can use this to clean toilets, showers, tubs, sinks, etc. Just be careful with things that have a finish on them, like marble and granite. The vinegar is acidic, so you don’t want to damage it. You can also use it on mirrors. But for those, just use pure vinegar. If you use water, it will streak. And don’t worry about the bad smell. It disappears when the vinegar dries. Pure Baking Soda: Functional and Flexible I love baking soda! It’s strong enough to clean up the residue on the tub, yet gentle enough to scrub on vegetables when you’re cleaning them. You can really use it to clean just about anything. Sprinkle it on directly, then wash or wipe it off. Try it out, because I bet you’ll be amazed at how well it cleans! It’s also a deodorizer. Put some in your refrigerator to absorb smells. Lemon Juice: The Scum Buster I’ve already written about lemon juice, but it’s worth repeating. Lemon juice is awesome at dissolving build ups and soap scum! Just pour some on and watch it fizz away. However, lemon juice is not an all purpose cleaner. It’s very concentrated and acidic, so just be mindful of that when you’re using it. So there you have it… 3 simple items that are very effective cleaners, very affordable, and very “natural”. After I took a look at the ingredients in commercial cleaners, I became wary of them. Have you seen what they put in those? I feel much better using my safe, homemade cleaners instead.
Since I’ve begun working for myself, I’ve caught on to a little game people like to play. Let me set it up for you. A potential client comes across my work. He or she likes what I do, and might want to hire me. So they contact me and we talk for around 40 minutes. With every general inquiry I get, I usually have to invest 40 minutes talking to them on the phone. I don’t mind. I like hearing people’s story. So we’ve talked, we seemed to have a good connection, and everything’s looking up. Then, they call me back to put me on the spot. Client: “Hey, Nathan, I have a quote right here in front of me from another designer. I want to know how much you’ll charge me for the same services. Send me a quote.” Here’s what’s really happening. They want me to provide a lower quote, because everyone wants the best deal, right? Well, it’s not really fair to do that because this designer might have only half the experience I have. It’s not a level playing field to just say “a designer gave me a quote.” Anyone can give a quote, it’s not magic. But anyway, they want me to name a figure, and they want it to be lower. Whoever is lower will probably win. If there are any shortcomings in the lower quote, they will find a way in their mind to overlook them. For example, if that designer isn’t as good, they will rationalize it because the price was lower. So I catch them in their game. “Oh, you have a quote, huh? Well how much is it?” I ask. “Um, what?” they say, completely surprised. “How much did they quote you?” I ask again, politely but firmly. “X amount of dollars,” they reply. “That’s great! I will do it for X amount of dollars too! Let me know who you pick!” I say cheerfully, beating them at their own game. Now they know they will pay the same amount no matter who they go with. They have to actually pay attention to the work we provide and choose the candidate that’s a better fit for them. I hate games. Why would someone try to play games when I am providing an honest service? Most designers are self employed, and they rely on that income. When they see a client, they see food on the table and bills being paid. Please don’t jerk them around. Just tell the designer how much you’d like to spend and you will get an honest response. No games required. [Edit: Most of this post is written as tongue-in-cheek. There’s actually much more to the dialog, I don’t just agree to quote whatever someone else quotes. My main point was to humorously say that all you have to do is communicate openly with your designer, and he’ll tell you what he can do on your budget.]
Household cleaners have become a hot topic when it comes to being “green”. Not only do these products have toxic effects on the environment, but they also are toxic to us. So we’ve learned some cool new tricks that are very cheap and much better for the air we breathe in our home. One worth mentioning is lemon juice. You can buy a small bottle of lemon juice in your local grocery store for under $1. You know the kind - they come in a little lemon shaped container that’s been around for decades. This stuff is pure magic! Let’s take hard water deposits, for example. The ice and water dispenser on our fridge gets used daily. As a result, there was a thick build up of crud on the removable tray. We’ve tried scrubbing it, soaking it, even removing the tray and blasting it off in the dishwasher. No luck, this stuff would not budge! Last night, I got the bright idea to put a few drops of lemon juice on it. Today, I walked by and it was completely clean! The lemon juice had eaten through all the crud, and there was no residue leftover. Another cool trick is to drop juice around your faucets to clean soap scum. It will eat through the muck right in front of you. Notice how it bubbles and then disappears. Leave it there for about 15 minutes, then wipe it away. Lemon juice can be used to remove all kinds of things, but be careful! It is acidic, so it could damage or ruin your counter tops and furniture. Just watch what you use it on.
Last week, I mentioned that I had helped out a high school student who was aspiring to become a graphic designer. He asked me a series of questions and I gave him some very in depth answers. In response, one of my readers wrote me and asked if I could answer some of his questions about design too. Sure, I’d be happy to… Start by gaining a basic understanding of how design works. I’m going to assume you already have a natural instinct when it comes to being creative. It all starts on the inside. A designer is someone who sees everything around him in shapes, colors, textures. The challenge is finding the right tools to express your vision. Even though design trends change, there are basic principles that withstand the test of time. Learn about contrast and tension. Remember that simplicity is key. Make a habit of writing down every idea that comes to mind, even if it seems like a bad one. Once you’ve begun to understand the way design works, start practicing with designs that already exist. For example, take a logo that you really like and open it up in Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. What exactly draws you to it? The colors? The typography? Learn to identify what works. Then, re-create the logo. Trace over it, emulate the font, do whatever you have to do. Practice re-creating any and all designs that compel you. Through practice, you will automatically learn how to create that same workflow yourself. Question #2: How do I put together a good portfolio? The first mistake many designers make is believing they need a gigantic portfolio with all kinds of examples. This is not true at all. I have watched people thumb through my portfolio. At most, they take a few seconds to look at something, then they move on. People are either sold or turned off by designs immediately. Having 60 items to thumb through is not going to help. They will already know if they like you after 5. So let’s say you meet your first client. You need something to show them. Create a mock campaign for an imaginary client. Design the logo, business cards, and website. Add these to your portfolio. You can also find volunteer work for charities. They are often in need of some help with their marketing. Remember that quality wins over quantity every time. It’s better to just have a few really powerful pieces rather than many ho-hum pieces. And be honest. If they want to know if you’re just starting out, don’t be afraid to tell them. Everybody starts somewhere. There was a time when they were new to their job also. Some people will be judgmental and turn you away because you don’t have a lot of experience. That’s fine, consider it a blessing. You don’t want to work with them anyway. They have demonstrated that they don’t have any faith or confidence in you, so they aren’t a good client to begin with. Question #3: Is it really difficult, or is it all in my head? Most of any challenge is in your head. Enthusiasm is infectious, people will catch on. Put yourself out there, make yourself known. Tell every person you meet what you do, and you will immediately start a network. Sometimes business can be slow. Don’t let that sink you down. Use that quiet time to build goals and improve yourself. Your next big project could be right around the corner, and you want to be in good spirits to receive it. Question #4: How did you start off? I met my first client at a hotel in the swimming pool. I don’t remember how we started talking or even what we talked about. But somehow, the topic did move over to website design (this was in 1997, so the internet was big news). I told him that I was learning how to design, and he told me that he needed a designer. My first job was born. Starting off literally did come from simple interaction with another human being. All you have to do is talk to people and you can make connections. Having good design capabilities is obviously important, but it’s your personality and communication that will really build strong working relationships which last. Question #5: How did you keep it up? I’ve always had this inner belief in myself. Often times, we are our own worse critics. So I have had moments when I lost some of my faith, and doubted myself. I can look around and see all kinds of designers who create much better work than I do. But I can also look around and see all kinds of designers who do work that isn’t very good. So the glass is either half full or half empty. The important thing is to believe in yourself, no matter what. Know that you have a unique contribution, and if design is one your gifts, then there are people out there for you to share it with. I’ve also learned a lot about the law of attraction, which is the topic of The Secret. You’ve probably heard people talking about it or even seen it here on my blog. The simple fact is that so much of our lives is controlled by our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Make sure that all 3 of those things are in alignment with your goals. If you want to be a designer, create a plan, make it a goal, and take action to make it happen. I believe in you… so there, now you have your first fan. I’m cheering for you!!!
Since the discussion is on sex lately, let’s talk about Prince Albert piercings. I always thought the concept behind having a Prince Albert was so that sex would be more intense for the pierced guy, and also the receiving partner would be more stimulated by the metal poking around inside them. It made sense to me in my head. I’d even read forums where people discussed how pleasurable sex was when you have a pierced dick and your partner likes the feeling inside him. So I thought I had this figured out. But lately I’ve noticed a lot of porn where the receptive partners are pierced. Huh? That just seemed odd to me. If I went to the trouble of piercing my dick, you had better believe I’m going to want to stick it in a hole. (I’m just saying…) Why would you pierce your dick, only for it to be flailing around in the air while some guy is pounding you? I’m sure it’s still pleasurable, but it seems kind of odd to me. Any pierced people around who’d like to weigh in?
2 days later, and it’s amazing how much buzz there has been on other blogs about my post regarding anal sex. I’m flattered… and very red in the face. HA! Well, thanks for the coverage. “Welcome” to the new readers. (Now everyone knows my first sexual partner got his poop on my dick. Oh no!) I even got a request to continue the post with how the couple should warm up to get the receiving person stretched. Sorry, baby, you’re going to have to write that one yourself. Update: Ahem, I do not appreciate this Google.
I got this test from my friend Daniel… Um, I demand a re-count!
You are DeathChange, Transformation, Alteration. People fear this card, but if you want to change your life, this is one of the What Tarot Card are You?
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It never makes me happy when a person dies. I want to preface by saying that because I realize that death is a very serious matter and I don’t mean to handle it carelessly.
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It was a treat, any way you look at it.
