Nathan Exposed » Goodbye, Sweet Nephew

Goodbye, Sweet Nephew

derek 6 years ago, I met my nephew Derek. He’s actually Rodney’s nephew, but since I became a part of the family, I became Derek’s uncle, and he accepted me as that.

Derek was graduating from high school. He was a wonderful person with a whole future of dreams ahead of him. I knew as soon as I met him that Derek was special. He had a kindness and love for other human beings that you don’t come across every day. He was a gentle spirit.

Unfortunately, Derek was also a very melancholy soul. Some people just aren’t able to deal with a world that seems bigger than we are. So whenever life got a little too heavy, he found comfort in alcohol and drugs.

We all tried to get Derek help. But if you’ve ever dealt with an alcoholic or drug addict, you probably know that’s easier said than done. People will do what they want to do. It’s very difficult to monitor what they are up to 24/7, and that was the case with Derek.

I do believe that Derek tried. There were little glimmers of hope that he would clean himself up. We had several heart to heart conversations in which I told him how much I love him, how much I care about his well being, and how I want him to stop being drugged up all the time.

The photo above was taken around Christmas, 2004. Rodney and I spent the day with Derek, and right before this picture was taken, I made him promise me that he would get himself together. Unfortunately, it was a promise he couldn’t keep.

Last Wednesday, May 16, Derek died of a drug overdose. There were 3 different kinds of pills, marijuana, and alcohol in his system. Everything converged and his body pretty much shut down.

Rodney and I rushed over to be with our family. It has truly been the most difficult time of my life. I’ve dealt with death in the family, and it’s always been very sad. But it’s always been death by natural causes.

To lose someone to drugs is more painful than I could have ever imagined. It breaks my heart to know he could still be alive today and could have been helped somehow. It also hurts so much to know he was only 23. Just think of all the amazing things he could have done with his life.

But I understand that this was a personal struggle that Derek dealt with. I understand that life was different through his eyes and I’ll probably never know what demons he wrestled with.

So many people showed up at the funeral home to say goodbye. It’s no exaggeration to say that Derek truly was as loving as I’ve described. Many people were impacted by his death.

I’m so sorry the rest of the world will never get to know how beautiful he was. Derek was like a great big teddy bear. Every time I saw him, he put his arms around me and told me he loved me.

So I write this in tribute to my wonderful nephew. Goodbye, Derek. I love you and miss you so much.

Sun, May 20, 2007 @ 11:44 pm | Filed in Family | Permalink

18 Comments

I’m so sorry to hear this news! It is sad when people die so young. I hope that your family is coming together to support each other. Keep me posted on how you are doing…

NephD

Posted by DanNation on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 12:07 am

Oh wow… I’m so sorry to hear that, Nathan. Losing someone to something other than natural causes is always harder to deal with since it could have been prevented. Big hugs to you, Rodney and your family.

xoxo

Posted by Rey Rey on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 1:24 am

I don’t know what to say, Nathan, other than I’m sorry for your loss. *BIG HUGS*

Posted by enihsnus on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 4:53 am

We’re so sorry to hear of your loss Nathan. We are sending positive thoughts and vibes to you, Rodney and your family.

Chad and Nick

PS - Your tribute is beautifully written - xoxoxo

Posted by bestgayblogs on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 5:50 am

sorry for your loss.

Posted by aboutaboy on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 11:33 am

Rodney i am so sorry to hear of your loss…. just think you will have an angel in heaven looking out for you now…..

be strong…..

i am sitting here in tears…your tribute was so heart felt….

DoninToronto

Posted by DoninToronto on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 12:18 pm

(((Warm Hugs)))

Posted by TJ on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 3:47 pm

Very sorry to hear that Nathan. All the best.

Posted by Tom on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 5:25 pm

Nathan, that’s a beautifully heartfelt tribute to your nephew Derek. He was fortunate to have inspired such love and care from those around him.
I’m sorry for your loss, and also for the life that Derek will not get to live.
love,
D

Posted by DEL on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 7:50 pm

Aww. I hope he’s at peace now.

Posted by danny on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 8:59 pm

Nate, I’m truly sorry to hear about Derek… I really don’t know what to say…

Posted by john on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 9:41 pm

Damn! how painful! I’m sorry for U’r loss Nate & Rod. :’(

Posted by mamael$troke on Mon, May 21, 2007 @ 11:05 pm

That’s so sad Nathan. I am truly sorry to hear this news. I’m sending many positive thoughts your way. Many of us know first hand what you are going through, so if you need to ramble about anything you know where I am.

Posted by chip on Tue, May 22, 2007 @ 5:59 am

My thoughts are with you and your family. It sounds like he truly touched you guys. Big Hugs!

Posted by jasontt33 on Tue, May 22, 2007 @ 8:56 am

So sorry. I lost a friend surrounded by similar circunstances about 7 years ago. I was married and my wife and I tried everything to help him get on the right track but ultimately, it never happened. Hope you are doing OK. Give Rodney my best.

Posted by scotty on Tue, May 22, 2007 @ 5:09 pm

I know he would be proud of your tribute to him….sounds like a great kid. I am very very sorry for the loss for you and Rodney. You know I love you guys and wish you peace.

Posted by Lewis on Tue, May 22, 2007 @ 6:37 pm

Letter from Heaven

To my dearest family and friends, I write to you from heaven.
I have a few things I’d like to say
It’s been a few days since I’ve been gone, but I beg you not to be sad.
I arrived okay, here I dwell with God.

Please do not be unhappy, just because I am out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
When you’re walking down the street, and you’ve got me on your mind;
I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind
You never have to worry, for I am always by your side.

That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through.
God welcomed me; he said to me,
“It’s good to have you back
For we missed you while you were gone.
As for your dearest family and friends,
They’ll be here later on.”

I wish that I could tell you what God has planned for you
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I am closer to you now, than I ever was before.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years,
They are bound to bring you tears, But do not be afraid to cry.
Because I am no longer in sight, Know that all the pain has disappeared
The moment I stepped into the light.

My dearest Family and friends,
There are many obstacles ahead, And many hills to climb
But together we will overcome them
One day at a time.

Now I must go, but I leave you with the following,
Whatever you do
Believe in your heart
Love your life
And believe in your own self

And Remember that I am always watching.
You’ll never be alone, If you ever need me,
To chase away the sadness and wipe away a tear
I’ll be half a step behind to hear what’s on your mind.

Posted by vfrankl on Wed, May 23, 2007 @ 8:13 pm

Nathan and Rodney I am so sorry for you loss and offer you my most sincere condolences.

Posted by martini-dan on Sat, May 26, 2007 @ 11:32 am