Nathan Exposed » this is war, mofo’s!

We’re under attack!

This spring, little reddish-brown bugs have invaded the backdoor of our house! I’ve searched and searched online, and can’t find out what the hell they are.

The most popular theory is chiggers. No, they’re not chiggers. I’ve seen pictures of chiggers. These little things are the size of a pixel. They don’t bite or cause damage, they just hang out.

Anyway, I don’t care what they are. This is war and I want them outta here!

Let me start by explaining that the backdoor is primarily glass with a wood frame. They all like to collect on the glass and hang out in the sun! For reals.

When the sun goes down, they go away. They are like little beach bums. And they looove the water.

Petey has a water bowl in the kitchen. They all scurry over to that and dive in, then drown.

Sun and water. Are these bitches on spring break or what?

A few days ago, I tried an experiment. I put a large bowl of water outside the door. The next day, it looked like a graveyard. Hundreds of these little bugs had jumped in and drown.

So today, I went psycho with the insecticide outside. I sprayed it all over the back patio, back door, siding, grass. Then, I took 6 little bowls of water and lined them up against the doors. I am going to wipe those little shit flakes off the face of this planet.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thu, Mar 22, 2007 @ 11:32 am | Filed in Humor | Permalink

3 Comments

Woah, Nathan, you sound like you’re going nuts, man. Like Kathy Bate’s character did in Fried Green Tomatoes when she rammed the car in the parking lot…..Tuwanda! However, to side with you and your dilemma, we have a similar deal here every single year about this time…..last week it started. Little things just like your’e describing in four different areas/windows. These suckers are only out during the daytime and hang out on the glass…..we sprayed the shit out of them. They come back. I’ve also put up ant traps (even though they are not ants)…and it actually seemed to help….could just be coincidence. Ours disappear automatically within 2-4 weeks. But in the meantime, they drive us as crazy as you sound!

Posted by Lewis on Thu, Mar 22, 2007 @ 1:40 pm

I just get all moist when you get violent.

Posted by DEL on Thu, Mar 22, 2007 @ 5:04 pm

We want pics!!! Decimating anything with 6 legs doesn’t count as murder, so knock yourself out. Your description of what they are like is enough to make my skin crawl. LOL.

Posted by enihsnus on Thu, Mar 22, 2007 @ 10:01 pm