Nathan Exposed » serving a big cup of crazy.

serving a big cup of crazy.

Petey and I have our regular routine of walking down the street on the sidewalk, past all the houses of the subdivision. I know just about everyone on the block and we all smile and say “hello”.

But today… crazy attacked! Her named is Marlene. We’ve met before, in fact I know her whole family. She’s a bit of a talker, but I’m always able to come up with some reason to move along quickly. But today, I got sucked in.

She started by telling me about her new $5,000 water system. She told me all about how the water isn’t safe to drink and we’re all going to die from it. Poison, I tell ya. POISON! She told me her whole family was deathly ill, vomiting every day, etc. That’s odd, because we live 3 houses down and aren’t sick at all.

She was going on and on about this system, and finally got around to the sell. She has to get 4 other people to sign-up for it and she gets a free prize. I told her flat out “Thanks, but I’m not interested in buying that.”

Then she moved on to telling me about how the whole neighborhood was ganging up on her. One woman tampered with her brakes and tried to kill her. Then some teenagers tried to break into her house every night, and were jumping her fence. Then 2 other families were in on it too. Watch out! They are all evil. They are all out to getcha.

Hmmm… wouldn’t it seem odd that every family in the neighborhood was trying to kill her? What is she doing to them?

Somehow she started babbling about how the end of the world is coming. We’re the last generation of people. Terrorists are going to wipe out the entire United States and kill us all.

(Ummm… how is that the end of the world? Wouldn’t that just be the end of the U.S.?)

I tried my best to keep a straight face, but finally just laughed and said “I don’t believe all that.”

She politely ignored my comment and carried on babbling. So finally, she wrapped up and said “I’ve just been talking your ear off!”

I flashed her a gorgeous smile and said “Yep.”

So I ~~walked~~ ran away with Petey and didn’t look back.

It’s going to be iPod and a pair of sunglasses from now on. That bitch is craaaaazy.

Sun, Mar 18, 2007 @ 4:13 pm | Filed in Humor | Permalink

2 Comments

Honey, please do be careful on the streets by yourself. And, be even more careful about calling US bitches crazy! We may infiltrate your water system or fool with your brakes.

Posted by Lewis on Sun, Mar 18, 2007 @ 5:50 pm

LOL.
There’s always one in the neighborhood. Reminds me of one of my neighbors, an older woman who would tell me how she always went swimming in her pool in her “High Heels”. Bizarre.

Well it sounds like your friend shows signs of why you “Shouldn’t” buy her new water filtration system, a whole lot of crazy!!

Posted by jasontt33 on Sun, Mar 18, 2007 @ 9:55 pm