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You have to love your instincts. Last week, I was offered a partnership in a growing internet company. It consists of 2 brothers building an online web application. They are tech savvy enough to back it up, but they needed a designer to bring it home. Currently, they are not making any money from the service. It’s a free web app, so there isn’t any profit to be made. But the catch is that someday, they plan to offer a premium service, and eventually sell the company. I have to admit, the deal did seem promising. I become a partner, I contribute the design, and I share profit when profit is there to be made. We even discussed contracts. Everything sounded bulletproof. Still, something gnawed at my stomach for days. They were nice guys, I’d searched the internet and could confirm that it was becoming a popular application. It all seemed very promising. Sure, it was a risk. But we were all equal. If I didn’t make money, neither would they. So the risk factor was equal for all of us. But I had to trust my gut. So I backed out abruptly. I told them that it just didn’t feel right for me, and they cordially thanked me for my honesty. Done deal. Here’s the fun part. Today, through a completely random set of links, I found a website offering EXACTLY the same thing they were. It also had the same advanced features that they said they were working on for the future. Why is this odd? Because the guys I talked to claimed this was an original, one of a kind idea. Nobody else on the internet was doing this the way they were. Sure, it could be coincidence. But now I have to wonder… did I get out just in time? Surely at some point, somebody somewhere would discover how similar these products were. There’s nothing wrong with some healthy competition. But I have to wonder if these guys are planning to profit off their competition’s hard work by reproducing it. Thanks inner voice. I’m glad I listened to you. You were right. 
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ——–
It’s a collection of all the Charlie Brown holiday stories (Great Pumpkin, Christmas, Easter Beagle…) in one book. Rodney knows how much I loved Peanuts when I was a kid. But the book had a much deeper meaning. He wanted it to be the first book we bought to read for our future children. Now some of you might think it’s odd to give a children’s book as an anniversary gift. But if you knew us, you’d know it makes perfect sense. I have no idea how many years it will be before this book is put to use, but the thoughtfulness behind it is incredible. Next up, he sent me a bouquet of daisies on Thursday. It wasn’t for our anniversary, it was for my new career. The card said: Congrats on your new adventure. I believe in you! These daisies are bright like your smile. I love you, Rodney. They were beautiful. And that gave me an idea for our anniversary. I took a photo of them in the sunlight, had it printed in 8 x 10, matted and framed, and had it hanging by the dinner table when he got home from work. So now we see it constantly as a reminder of our love. Rodney woke me up this morning at the crack of dawn (9AM) so we could exchange our anniversary cards. We had a good day together. I also bought him a lamp. Okay, don’t laugh. We love lamps. We are freaks about lamps. I think we replace our lamps once a year!
This photo was taken on my graduation day in 2000. My Mom and Dad are on the right, my older brother is behind me, and my oldest brother and his wife are on my left. I have no idea what we’re laughing about, but it sure is funny. This photo makes me smile from ear to ear. There has been a lot of drama in the 7 years since that photo was taken. Then again, what family doesn’t have drama? But no matter what’s happened, this photo is an eternal snapshot of happiness in my heart. [ Sorry about the quality of the scan. ]
I once read a blog entry about how this person refused to watch horror films and graphic TV shows because they desensitize us to the reality of violence. Unfortunately, I don’t remember whose blog I was reading. I have been a fan of horror films since I was very young… too young to be watching that kind of violence. I don’t know why I liked scary movies, but obviously millions of people do. So when I read this blog entry, I didn’t understand why he would boycott horror films. Tonight, I sat down to watch Saw 3. I had been wanting to see it for a long time and I’ve seen the first two films in the series. In the first few minutes, I watched a man beat his foot until it was disconnecting from his body. He then twisted his ankle to break the rest of it off. Still within the first 5 minutes, I saw a men with thick chains going through his hands, feet, shoulders, and mouth. There’s no point in saying what happened next. I can’t think of a time I’ve ever shut a movie off. But I did this time. After watching 5 minutes of this violence, I asked myself why I was enduring it. What interest do I have in seeing human beings torn apart? What does it contribute to my life and how does it shape me as a person? It has no value, and no purpose. It’s merely a competition to see how much agony they can squeeze into 2 hours. I suddenly have no recollection of why I’ve watched any horror film in my life. I truly don’t know what the point was. I still consider Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho my all-time favorite film. But that’s more of a mystery, and the purpose is suspense. It’s not just a bunch of people dying. So whoever wrote that initial post, I’m sorry I don’t remember. But I did remember what you said, and I see your point with absolute clarity. Thank you for that.
I can take a hint. I’ve been featured on your site twice within one month. I’ve received flowers from a “secret admirer”. I get anonymous phone calls in the middle of the night, with silence on the other end of the line. So you’re in love with me. And that’s okay. These things happen to me all the time. But why don’t you grow a pair and contact me for an interview on your site? I know you’ve been wanting to for a long time. I’ve finally recovered from the fact that you didn’t award me for the Best Gay Blog of 2006. I know… it was “voted by the people.” Yeah yeah… I know how politics work. Do you really believe over 50% of voters chose Bush in 2004? I think not. It’s a scandal! I guess I can forgive you. But next time you break into the house to roll around in my dirty underwear, please be sure to put them back in the basket when you’re done. Thanks, peach. xoxo
Yesterday was my last day at work. I went through a full spectrum of emotions, but after it was all done, I mostly just felt tired. I’ve had the privilege of working with some very great people. I’ve made a lot of friends as a result. Everyone was very supportive of my dream to run my own business, so that was very nice. I was also amazed at some of the things people told me before I left. They were so genuine, and had such great opinions of me. I like that. I spent close to 2 years there, and I did my best to be professional. That’s not always easy in the workplace, where stress is a common factor. But I smiled whenever I could, I used kind words whenever I could. And people noticed. I hope I somehow inspired others to be the same. So now that’s done and it’s time for a new adventure. A lot of people asked me “Well aren’t you scared?” Nope, absolutely not. I was a little scared on the day I quit my job. But after that, nope. I’ve never felt so comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never felt so passionate as I do right now. I know that everything has lined up for me and I’m on the right path. So I can’t say I’m scared when life is giving me exactly what I want. We all have an internal compass inside. I finally started listening to mine. Just like a real compass will never lie to you when it says West is West and East is East, our internal compass will not lie when it says what’s right or wrong.
 ©2005-2008 Nathan Exposed . All Rights Reserved Meet the Cast
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