In January, my Grandma fell and broke her femur. Oddly enough, the night before, her phone line went out of service due to technical problems. She has a Medic-Alert device that she wears around her neck. But the signal is tied to her phone. So if the phone is out, the necklace will not send out a call for help.
So that morning, she fell and could not call for help. She was unable to move at all so she just stayed there on the floor for at least 4 hours. Luckily, my Mom was coming over that morning so she found Grandma and got her to the hospital.
Negativity seems to run on that side of the family. My Grandma has always been a person that believes life is hard. My Mom is the same way and unfortunately a lot of that rubbed off on me. But I’ve made a huge effort to break free from that mindset and good things are happening in my life as a result.
Back to the story, things continued to get worse for Grandma. She was miserable, unhappy, and cried constantly. Everyone who came to visit her had the same pity attitude. Negativity just fed more negativity and Grandma had no optimism to get better. So she didn’t.
She had surgery on the leg and lost a lot of blood. Still no optimism that she would ever get better. Her leg continued to get worse instead of better. She fell and cracked her femur in another place. Her body was too weak to do surgery again, so they had to put on a cast to stabilize the healing.
Now the leg is very infected. The infection has spread and her leg may deteriorate. Meanwhile, Grandma is living in a nursing home so she can receive 24/7 care. She cries everyday. It’s very sad.
Now… as harsh as this may sound, I constantly wonder if a positive attitude would have changed all this. Having an injured leg is not fun, I know that. But I have to wonder if everyone involved in this had reflected an attitude of good health and optimism, would she be getting better?
My Mom is doom and gloom about this and has been from Day 1. I’ve tried and tried to tell her that she has an obligation to help lift Grandma’s spirits. But she just doesn’t seem to get it. I think my Mom takes comfort in believing that everything is wrong.
When you believe that everything is wrong, you get a strange sense of satisfaction because it’s predictable. There are no surprises, nothing to worry about because you believe that life will give you the very worst and you can expect it. Sure enough, bad things show up around every corner and that re-affirms your faith that it all goes wrong.
I hope that somehow my Grandma will take a positive turn. Every time I talk to her, I refuse to give in to the pity. I tell her she’s strong and getting better everyday. I tell her that’s she’s going to be healed and will be back on her feet soon.
She seems to like that. The problem is that I’m the only one who believes in her.