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Anger and negativity are difficult to control because they are emotions. An emotion feels intangible because you can’t see or touch it. If you were walking down the street, and some scary guy started walking towards you, I bet you’d try to get away from him. You know that scary guy is real because he is a physical entity moving towards you. So how do you get away from anger when you can’t see it? A great method is to create an elaborate scene in your head. First of all, give your anger a face. Give it a voice, a name, anything that turns it into a real character. Then, create a way to defeat your anger. Make it crazy and hugely exaggerated. We remember exaggerations because they are so wild. So by making your anger into this huge, ridiculous thing, it’s much easier to laugh in its face and tell it to go away. I’ll let you in on a little secret that I’ve never told anybody… My anger is Bowser, the villain from Super Mario Brothers. And my weapon is Mario. Whenever I get angry, I imagine Bowser in his castle, trying to attack me with his negativity. My conscious becomes Mario, and I give Bowser a beat down. When Bowser dies, so does my anger. I know it sounds silly, and that’s the point. Why should I let myself get upset over some animated character from a video game? That’s why my anger is usually so stupid. It’s not worth getting upset over Bowser. 9 times out of 10, my negative mood completely disappears within seconds. I tell Mario to come and save the day, and he does. Bye bye, anger. It isn’t just anger. It’s pessimism, doubt, fear, annoyance. Anything that doesn’t make me feel good, I fight it off with Mario. Try it for yourself. It will work! I learned this trick from Steve Pavlina’s blog. If you haven’t heard of him, you should read every article from his archives because he is truly brilliant. 
Many times, I like to imagine different roles and scenarios I will be a part of when I’m a Dad. It’s my own mental exercise to prepare us for being parents someday. One of the hardest things (in my mind) to accept is that someday, our little babies will be teenagers, and we’ll have to discuss sex. I grew up in a Catholic household where abstinence until marriage was preached. For the record, abstinence is an AWFUL thing to preach. It just isn’t realistic to tell a teenager with raging hormones that he or she has to suppress what they feel. The other really bad thing was that, due to the abstinence beliefs, our parents did not offer condoms. We had to learn about those in school. Luckily, my 2 brothers and I all made it out okay and we knew about safe sex. But one of my brothers did get a girl pregnant, and she had an abortion. I can’t fully blame my parents, but I do have to wonder if things could have been different if condoms had been openly discussed in our household. When it comes to sex, I know that I am going to be very open and honest with our kids. Condoms are going to be discussed often and I am going to make sure that condoms are always available. It is my duty as a parent to make sure our kids have the items they need to protect themselves. But I’m confused on how far I should take things. I don’t want them having sex in the backseat of a car just because they feel like they have to sneak around. But should I let them have sex with partners in their bedroom? That almost feels like I am encouraging them to have sex. I don’t want to encourage it, but I also don’t want to discourage it. I know it will all work out, but it’s just confusing to think about.
This is so lame. Are we progressively moving backward into the stone ages? I don’t think Janet’s boob was a problem, and I don’t think Prince’s silhouette was either. This is the same Super Bowl that had a commercial of 2 men kissing, then jumping back in disgust and ripping off their chest hair to be more “manly”. So it’s okay to imply that 2 men kissing is so ugly and horrible that you have to cause yourself physical pain to recover? Sure, nothing wrong with a little homophobia being broadcast to people everywhere. But implying that Prince has a penis is just unacceptable! *throws arm over forehead dramatically* How will we survive in such a sinful world? Afterall, dicks have only been around since the beginning of mankind.
Oprah’s feature on The Secret yesterday was amazing. There was so much positive energy in the studio. They also featured 3 different people from the audience and gave them steps on how they could get through their difficult times. The first was a single mother with $43,000 of debt, then a couple whose passion had burned out until they watched The Secret, and the last was a woman who had been trying to lose weight for 14 years, but never could feel confident about her appearance. If you didn’t get a chance to see it, I’m sure it will make its way to YouTube eventually. The first 5 minutes have already been posted:
Because of my astrology sign, I’ve always been interested in scorpions. I have a small collection of scorpion related items: glass statues, shirts, underwear, caps, stuffed toys, and even a scorpion tattoo on my leg. So it only seems natural that I would eventually have a real scorpion. Emperor Scorpions are the best for beginners, and they rarely sting. They get quite large, and they are black, which makes them look very sinister. Oh, and get this - they glow under blacklight. That’s pretty interesting. But what would I do with a pet scorpion? Sure, we could cuddle on the couch while watching TV. I could buy a mini leash and take him on walks. But seriously, what kind of life would that be? It just seems so odd to take a creature and put it in a little glass box. He would have no entertainment, no exercise, no social life. If scorpions are anything like Scorpios, we hate glass boxes. We’re ambitious, power hungry people. My pet scorpion should be trailing the deserts, looking for love, following his dreams. *sigh* I just can’t buy one. Oh well. It was a nice thought while it lasted. His name was going to be Frank. I don’t know why.
If you get a chance, you should watch the Oprah feature on it, or set it to record while you’re at work. I’m sure it’s going to be an awesome special! Here’s a trailer:
Here’s an exercise that I think will be fun. Did you know that you can do absolutely anything you can visualize in your head? I know, I know… CLICHE ALERT! We’ve all heard it before, but do you know how to actually start doing it? The best way to start is the Parking Lot Test. Start by visualizing a parking space that’s close to the front. Concentrate very hard on it and be 100% confident that the space will be available to you. Don’t get frustrated or discouraged. That will block your positive thoughts. That space will become available to you. Make a mental note and feel enthusiastic about it. Remember that feeling and apply it to future situations. Start moving on to bigger things. In every situation, create a clear mental picture of what you want to happen. You must know with absolute certainty that it’s going to happen. Every time it comes true, you will gain confidence and strength. Eventually, you will be able to visualize huge things happening in your life, and they will. It’s remarkable how much I have been able to visualize and make come true in a very short amount of time. Occasionally, things don’t happen exactly as I visualized. I’m not God, afterall. But this is a great way to accomplish bigger goals in the future. Try it out for yourself. You have nothing to lose.
I quit my job today, and it’s just the most incredible, confusing, exciting feeling. I feel really drained. I’ve went through a whole range of feelings today. My dream has always been to have my own design business, full time. I actually dabbled in it many times over the past 8 or so years. Sometimes it was my full time work. But it’s different now because this is really “it”. This isn’t some temporary transition until I start another job. I am really going to have my own business. I have a growing base of really good, quality clients that I enjoy working with every day. I only work with people I truly like, and they are a joy! I love getting their e-mails and phone calls. I like to be their friend, and help them improve their business any way I can. It makes me happy. And I like being in charge. I’m actually really good at it. I’m focused and organized, creative and friendly. I’m the type of person you’d want to hire, and I recognize my own self worth now. I guess all of this comes with experience. I feel more mature, and more comfortable in my own skin. I’ve made a lot of good friends at my day job, and I will miss seeing them every day. But they will still be friends after I leave, so that’s comforting. It’s blue skies from here!
Sometimes it’s hard to keep your cool when you have a conflict with someone. Conflict is a natural part of being human, and if we didn’t feel that emotion, we wouldn’t be capable of appreciating happiness. The first and obvious thing I try to do is stay positive. I’ve been talking about that a lot lately, and the more I do it, the more things seem to go my way. But there will always be conflicts, so dealing with them effectively is key. - Focus on what you’re feeling that makes you angry or upset. - Ask yourself “Could I let this feeling go?” (Yes) - Ask yourself “Would I?” (Yes) - Ask yourself “When?”. (Now) This method forces you acknowledge the anger and then immediately erase it. By asking yourself “When?”, you have to make a decision on the spot. Do you really want to dwell on it forever? Of course not. So say “Now” and let it be gone. If you say “Next week”, you will realize that’s just ridiculous. Why would you want to hold on to anger until next week? I’ve found this simple exercise to be really helpful in times of conflict. Now if something huge happens, it might take some more time. But if you apply it to anything that makes you mad, you’ll see how quickly you can let go.
It’s easy to do. The world is filled with airbrushed examples of how we are supposed to believe humans look. No matter if you’re man or woman, it’s hard to find a photo that doesn’t have all the pores smoothed out so their skin is plastic. Eyes are a milky shade of white, without a trace of red. Lines are for patterns, not for faces. I was playing around with my camera tonight, and ended up with this shot of myself. I didn’t realize how detailed it was until I loaded it onto the computer. It surprised me at first, because you can see every inch of detail. At first, I felt like deleting it. But then I thought “Hey, this is truth. This is what a human looks like. I should post it and celebrate the real me.” I’ll even point out the flaws. For one, my eyes are bloodshot. I’m always tired on Mondays. My pores are large because I was born with oily skin. Anyone with oily skin knows you can use every product in the world, and you’ll still wake up the next day with the same damn skin. There are stray hairs because I’ve neglected my unibrow. There are lines under my eyes, because that’s what people have. There is a tiny flake of dry skin on my eyebrow. I was bitten by a dog when I was a kid, so there is a scar at the top of my nose. If you look closely, you can see the outline of my contacts. Oh, and one eyelid sags more than the other. Did you know that everyone has one eye that sags more? The eyelids are never identical. I have a stray eyelash that fell under my eye. That’s the truth.
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I didn’t watch much of the Super Bowl, aside from a few commercials and maybe a second of Prince’s performance. But all week, critics have been griping about whether Prince was implying that his guitar was his penis. And of course, they are bringing up Nipple Gate again.
I’m not really a big fan of unusual pets (snakes, tarantulas, anything cold blooded…). But recently, the idea of having a “pet” scorpion has appealed to me.
Thursday’s Oprah will be all about The Secret book and movie, which is what I credit to completely changing my life since I saw it in December. 
