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Rodney’s hotel had a lavish Christmas party in the ballroom. There were aisles and aisles of good food, good sweets, and good liquor. I loved it! The DJ put on a sultry song in Spanish, and all the Latin people went on the dance floor. I don’t know what it was, but they seemed to know the steps. I was sitting at the table and this attractive Latin woman walked over and asked me to dance. I was stunned, but flattered. We went on the dancefloor. She grabbed both my hands and started grinding up on me. I backed away. We danced, but I didn’t know the steps. I couldn’t keep up. I started sweating and my hands got wet. She kept trying to get close, and I kept pushing her away. Between my bad Latin dancing and my sweaty hands, she became irritated and let go. Whew, finally. I thought it was over, and then her Latin friend asked me to dance. What is with these Latin seductresses? And where the hell is Rodney?
We had dinner with Rodney’s side of the family, which includes his gay nephew and his partner. The nephews cooked a feast that would make Martha proud! Everything was homemade, including the candy, dipping sauce, alfredo and marinara sauce. Yum. After we ate, I somehow started telling everyone about baby Jesus butt plugs. That proceeded into a conversation about dildoes and butt plugs. Oh it was a riot! I had everyone in tears. One of Rodney’s sisters didn’t know the difference, so I grabbed 2 candles (a tall taper and a short Santa Claus) and explained to her It is so great being around that side of the family because they are so open minded! I am usually an introvert, but that night I was the center of attention. I had the whole house laughing, and it felt great.
We had dinner with Rodney’s other family and exchanged gifts. Every year, Rodney’s sister-in-law gives him some stupid gag gift. They are never funny, and they always humiliate Rodney. Everybody just laughs at him. I’m not impressed. This year, she decided to include me. Rodney found out early, and warned everyone that it would not be wise to play a joke on me. He told them they don’t want to be on Nathan’s shit list. But they ignored the warning. I opened up the box, and this hideous thong was inside with eyes and a tongue. Yuck. They gave Rodney a matching one so we could wear them together. Whatever. Just wait until next year, bitch.
I spent these days sick at the hotel, sick in the hospital, then sick at home. Rodney took good care of me. He sat these flowers on the shelf next to the bed, along with my Christmas cards from him and the kitties and puppy. This was my view from the bed. The ledge overlooks the living room and the skylights give a great view. And what’s that in the basket? It’s petals from all the roses we’ve given each other over the years. We’ve kept all of them 2006: What’s Coming Up Next Well, I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful New Year celebration! In the coming weeks, you can expect to hear about AdamMale’s response to this post, lessons in manscaping, podcasting, and more. See you next year! 
Hey what happened with the latin dancers? Did one of the men eventually ask you to dance? As for the Aunt, A croched thong? OMG… it’s like a tea cozy for a prick. I can see a jackhammer jesus in someone’s stocking next year. Posted by Scott on Fri, Dec 30, 2005 @ 9:29 am how in the hell do you spell croche? crothche? crotchie? Posted by Scott on Fri, Dec 30, 2005 @ 9:30 am Hey - as your gay nephew, I didn’t remember having dinner with you and Rodney on 12/23. Hmmm…must have been too much egg nog. Posted by Dan on Fri, Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:06 am I can’t wait for next Christmas to find out what evil thing you do to them. Ah, something to look forward to ;P I’m glad you’re feeling better, sweetie. It absolutely sucks having sickness coming out both ends. Gross, but you’ve been there and know exactly what I mean. It’s like the depths of some fiery hell. Oh, and I think it’s crochet, Scott. Posted by sugarfoot on Fri, Dec 30, 2005 @ 11:54 am Nathan Darling, If you have no use for those thongs I am sure Mickey Rooney and his wife Jan would love them. They are sick like that!!! Glad to see you recovered from your Flu Well I’m off to Kathy Lee Gifford’s Happy New Year Kisses, MargOH! Posted by MargOH! Channing on Fri, Dec 30, 2005 @ 12:44 pm Even though you were really sick, it still sounds like you salavaged a nice holiday, Nathan. And, I’m still howling at the baby jebus butt plugs! I first saw them in a post over at god is for suckers. Have a great weekend, and an outstanding new year! Posted by Steve on Fri, Dec 30, 2005 @ 5:31 pm I have my notebook poised for the manscaping lecture! Hope you and Rodney have all the laughter, fun and love that you deserve in 2006! Posted by Spider on Sat, Dec 31, 2005 @ 12:52 pm Spicy Latina seductress! That got my attention. “C’mon baby lets do the Conga…I know you can’t control yourself any longa” You loved it. Happy New Year and best to you, Rodney, and JLo in 2006! Posted by Jetboy747 on Sat, Dec 31, 2005 @ 2:59 pm Happy New Year!! u guys are so sweet together! keepin all the rose petals is so sweet!! xoxo Posted by Phoenixboi on Sat, Dec 31, 2005 @ 11:07 pm Hey Nathan…so sorry to hear you were so sick, buddy, but it’s wonderful that you have someone like Rodney to take care of you. What a great man he is. Hmmmm…baby Jesus butt plugs and puppy dog thongs. I think I can truly say I’ve “seen it all” now. OMG…just too damn funny, man. Happy, happy New Year to you, my friend. Thanks for all the great stuff you share with us! Hope 2006 is full of many wonderful things for you and yours! Posted by Ziggy on Mon, Jan 2, 2006 @ 10:31 pm There is something strangely endearing about that bunny gift … I actually like it. No, I’m serious. Posted by Sunshine on Tue, Jan 3, 2006 @ 6:40 am Leave a comment
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12/18/05 - Dance with Me
12/23/05 - A Gay Ol’ Christmas
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