Nathan Exposed » Fish murderer

Fish murderer

goldfish My friend Eddy was talking about how his fish died this week. That reminded me of a story from 2000, about how awful I am with fish.

I had a little goldfish that I kept on the shelf over my desk. He had a digestive problem. He would swim around with a long thread of shit streaming from his little hole, but he couldn’t quite get it to drop.

Every day, I watched him swim around for hours, trying to get that damn turd off. It took forever and drove me crazy.

Finally, one night, I got sick of seeing his floating turds. I flushed him down the toilet…alive.

That’s right, I’m a cold-blooded murderer.

And I don’t want to hear any complaints from any hippies. If you’ve ever eaten fish, then your fish probably died in a worse way than mine did.

Now excuse me while I go eat this tuna sandwich.

Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 11:22 am | Filed in Humor | Permalink

9 Comments

Its ok. Some days at work I’d have to sac 20 mice a day in the name of science. Most of the times the experiments don’t work.

Posted by adam on Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 12:15 pm

LOL

Posted by sugarfoot on Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 1:08 pm

I flushed my ex-boyfriend down the toilet and I don’t feel bad about that.

Posted by Dan on Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 2:30 pm

hmm. a darker side to nathan is indeed exposed!

remind me not to get constipated near you if I ever visit *ducks*

Posted by jjd on Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 6:55 pm

oh my god and you wanna be a parent? I’m scared!

Posted by Jellygnite on Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 10:30 pm

Yeah you better be scared…

Posted by Nathan on Sat, Dec 10, 2005 @ 11:44 pm

You haven’t got a dog have you??

Posted by Phoenixboi on Sun, Dec 11, 2005 @ 5:03 am

That’s very scary, Nathan. Make sure Rodney doesn’t have anything persistently hanging out of him, lest you flush him alive as well.

Posted by Sunshine on Sun, Dec 11, 2005 @ 8:09 am

If you had just feed your fish some other type of food say not the pellets or flakes that you would have been feeding him/her say used some live feed or frozen then you the fish would have fixed it’s problem and shitted fine. It is a kind of constipation brought on by having the same type of food too much… great now I sound like a nature doc voice over guy… here we see the goldfish shit trail, note the way it bobs about behind the anus of the fish… (ENOUGH I SAY ENOUGH)

Posted by R on Tue, Dec 20, 2005 @ 5:28 pm