Nathan Exposed: the naked truth about my gay life

swashIn case you didn’t know, bidets are fairly common in parts of Europe and Asia. What is a bidet? It’s a sink that washes your ass after you use the toilet. Yeah, really.

For some reason, many Americans aren’t as interested in cleaning their asses. Most people laugh at the idea of a bidet. Why? You think your dirty ass is cool?

Well there’s a new invention on the U.S. market called The Swash. It’s a toilet seat that you can put on your existing toilet. It sprays a stream of water to clean your ass, then blows warm air to dry your ass, and even has a heated seat. As a bonus, it has an extra option for women that will clean your dirty kitty :)

The only drawback is the $469 price tag. But if more people buy The Swash, the market will improve, which will inspire competition. And with competition comes lower prices.

Someday we will all have ass-cleaning toilet seats.

And the world will be a better place…

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Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 7:05 am | Filed in Humor | Permalink 10 Comments

    As a “power bottom” I totally respect the need for a clean tushie. Great post!

    Posted by T. Johnston on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 7:38 am

      hm.. $3: 1 container of wet, disposable toilet-friendly wipes. They should all be our friends too (in lieu of the swash!)

      Posted by jjd on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 10:02 am

        The wet wipes are definitely a step in the right direction. And an affordable alternative. But they leave little white flakes.

        I still say everyone needs a blast of warm water on their dirty ass. Fo shizzle.

        Posted by Nathan on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 10:41 am

          Im all for bidets!! I think its amazing that they aren’t more common and are actually seen as a frivolity. People in the US think ist all hoity toity but really its just plain sanitary.

          I love the wipes as well. They have them specifically for adults now. I enjoy the Charmin brand.

          Posted by adam on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 11:36 am

            I use the fire hydrant on the curb near my house. My neighbors love it, especially with my latest pick -up in tow. It keeps children away from my front yard. It also does a quite thorough job, and there’s no mess to clean up in the house.

            Posted by Dan on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 11:47 am

              HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

              Posted by Nathan on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 11:58 am

                And now you know why I have a seltzer bottle sitting on the floor next to the toilet and why the area behind the toilet has a backsplash.

                Posted by Kirkkitsch on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 2:23 pm

                  That is a great idea..

                  BTW.. keep away from those toilet wipes..they do NASTY things to your butt!

                  Posted by Phoenixboi on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 3:48 pm

                    I think that’s a GREAT idea.

                    I suppose the only issue is logistics - how much water does the thing blast out? If it’s too strong, I’d prolly get it on my chin and if it’s too weak - well, you might as well use a garden hose.

                    PS I can’t believe the person above who commented that he was a “power bottom”. That sounds SO weird. LOL.

                    Posted by Sunshine on Thu, Dec 15, 2005 @ 3:53 pm

                      I have one of these, well not this exact model but one similar. They are really common in Japan, where they originate from and even department store toilets have them now. They are great for staying fresh and clean and the heated toilet seats are a real boon in winter. I hope they take off in the US, my ass always gets sore when I have to return to rough hotel toilet paper only.

                      Posted by Jay on Tue, Jan 3, 2006 @ 8:45 pm

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