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Earlier today, Scott posted a funny photo of a mock Yankee Candle called “Sweaty Man-Ass”. This leads me to a story. Roughly 5 or 6 years ago, there was this documentary on HBO about “Shocking Television Shows” from foreign countries. There is less censorship in other countries, and therefore more sex on TV. One of the clips was a game show with straight couples. A bunch of men stood naked in a line and their wives/girlfriends wore blindfolds. The women would smell each man’s ass and try to identify which one was her man’s. It was funny, yet a little humiliating. Oh well, they participated voluntarily. Anyway, here’s my question: Could you identify your partner by the smell of his ass?
Picture it - December 4, 2002. A bitter cold ice storm blew into the Raleigh, NC region. Over 1 million people lost power while the temperatures were below freezing. We thought it would just last a little while. But it got worse. Overnight, there was so much ice on the trees that they started falling down all around the city and suburbs. Some of them fell over power lines, causing mini-explosions. It looked like the 4th of July as sparks flew outside our window. Now we were stuck. Nobody had power. And of course the phones were out too. We had 1 cell phone and we had to conserve the battery as much as we could. Hotels were so overloaded that people were sleeping on the floors of the lobbies. And with all the broken powerlines, it was a big task for crews to fix the lines. Since temperatures remained so cold, the lines kept going out even after they had been repaired. The temperature inside our apartment dropped to 40 degrees. Rodney was creative with our food options. He took soup and put it in a pan, then heated it by holding a candle underneath the pan. It took 1 hour just to get the soup lukewarm. But it was good enough for us. We lived off lukewarm soup and junk food. To stay warm, we got in bed and piled blankets over us. Our poor baby cat Purr Purr was cold too, so I held her in my arms most of the time to keep her warm. We finally got power after 4 very long days. Some people went a full 7 days without power. It was a mess. So as winter falls upon us, I really can’t complain about the cold. After that experience, I know it could always be worse. [ Photo taken from The Rodent’s Gallery ]
Somebody stop the madness! Okay, it has to be said, so listen up boys. Embedding Windows Media files on your blog is not cute. This trend needs to go away. Years ago, there was a big boom of personal webpages. As a result, there was an overload of poor design. We’re talking animated gifs and obnoxious MIDI files that blared compterized music. Finally, people realized this was a bad idea, and the trend died out. Now, enter the blog boom. The trend has started all over again, but this time it’s gigantic WMV files that take over your browser. I click over to a blog and suddenly my peaceful silence is interrupted with an annoying video clip buried 10 posts down in the page. I can’t focus on the author’s content because I’m too busy looking for the STOP button. A simple solution that will make everyone happy: If you want to share a video clip, offer a link to the video file that opens on a different page. I do this all the time. It’s much more user friendly. And if you don’t believe me when I say it’s annoying, take a poll. Or better yet, just search Google for articles on bad website design. < / end rant >
He’s a great guy, so go check his blog out and welcome him to the community. And on a sidenote, he looks like my gay nephew (nephew-in-law, actually). So blog on, Dan! And thanks for the shout-out.
Craig is a very talented and very gifted filmmaker. He lives in Sydney, Australia, so I have only just begun to learn about him. He is currently promoting his short movie Transient, which he directed and stars in with his partner Phoenix Leonard. It is a 9 minute journey through a gay relationship. Craig is the lead character. His partner Phoenix also plays his partner in the movie. It starts out with happiness and love. Over time, it dissolves. The 2 start spending time apart, and eventually start leading separate lives. They are sleeping with other people and spending time with other friends, and the relationship just floats away. The movie also touches on heavier topics that are part of gay relationships, but they are so subtle and have a good flow with the storyline. In the end, Craig is sitting, thinking about the love he’s lost. And it ends. It’s hard to believe you could feel so many things in only 9 minutes. But that’s why Craig is so talented. I understood the whole story. I could have followed it without sound, because the expressions on Craig’s face and the beautiful editing made the story very clear. That’s good acting, and good film making. The movie is narrated by Ian Roberts, who is a popular gay athlete in Australia. Okay, so how can you see this movie? It is currently being shown at film festivals worldwide. You can check Craig’s blog for dates and information. It has already won several awards, including “Best Short Film” and “Audience Choice” at the Melbourne Queer Film Festival 2005, as well as the “Audience Choice” at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras 2005. Transient will be included on a DVD of short movies in mid-2006, which will be released by Queer Screen. So head on over to Craig’s blog and tell him “hello”. He is a great guy and I’m sure you’ll find his blog just as fascinating. I look forward to watching his career as it grows. And Craig doesn’t know it yet… but someday, I will be in one of his movies
I just realized I haven’t talked about my birthday yet. Rodney planned a surprise party for me. It was great! Most of the people he invited couldn’t come because of Thanksgiving related commitments. But my parents came and some friends from North Carolina flew in to see me! So I wanted to talk about this one moment that was so funny. My parents were asleep in the guest bedroom and the rest of us were in the living room talking about dirty topics. One of my friends was saying her husband uses all her expensive lotion for jacking off. I told her that she should buy him Wet J/O Formula because it was made for jacking off. She got all interested and we started talking about masturbation. Suddenly, I looked down the hall and realized my parents hadn’t closed the door when they went to bed! There we all sat, frozen in horror, realizing everything we’d just said could be heard. I was so embarrassed. Knowing my parents could have heard us talking about masturbation would be awful. The next morning, I casually made a comment to my Mother that we were sorry for the noise last night. She said they went straight to sleep and never heard a thing. I believed her. My Mom would have told me if she had. Whew, that could have been awkward.
It makes me smile when… it’s the weekend and I am a total hermit. I won’t answer the phone, I won’t shave, and I dress like a bum.
1996 My big brother and I used to be very close. That changed in 1996, when he got married. Slowly, he disconnected from the family. He became a different person. He was insensitive, uninvolved with our lives, etc. But he and his wife always maintained somewhat of a superficial relationship with all of us. The children In 2001, they had a daughter, who I love very much. And earlier this year, they had a son, who is the sweetest baby. Rodney and I have been very good uncles. We’ve always been there to love and care for their children. But my brother and his wife have continued to hurt the family. And people made subtle comments, but nobody has openly confronted them. July 2005 I decided to step up to the plate and tell them how irritated we are with their ungrateful and fake attitudes. Everything blew up. My brother told me we were never close, and that he never cared about me. Instead of apologizing for all the things they had done wrong, he and his wife said hurtful things to us and brought my mother to tears. Friday, Nov. 18, 2005 I had a glimpse of optimism. I called my brother and his wife to talk. I spoke with his wife first. She didn’t actually apologize, but she admitted she had said some wrong things, and we both agreed to move forward and have a happy holiday together. It was good enough for me. Then I spoke with my brother. He had no shame for the things he had said. He quickly changed the subject and said there were more important things to discuss. He had decided that Rodney and I were perverted for being gay. He said we were traumatizing his daughter and that she had begun asking questions about us. He said we were demonstrating inappropriate behavior and exposing his children to our lifestyle. I pushed him for some examples. He said that sometimes Rodney calls me “honey”, and another time he had talked about “ironing my clothes”. We had also talked about moving into our house in Nashville together. I told him he was an idiot if he honestly thought “ironing clothes” and a “house” was going to affect his children. I also told them that Rodney and I love each other and there is nothing dirty about that. Then he brought out the big guns…he said Rodney is NOT their uncle and he refuses to let his children believe that he is. WTF? I really went off at that point. I told him that he has no right to choose who is in our family and that Rodney is every bit of an uncle to those children. I tried to reason with him and tried to get him to read a book about child psychology so he would see that children are not homophobic by default. Children are only homophobic when their parents teach them to be. The argument went on for an hour, and only got worse. He finally told us that we would not be allowed to be part of their lives if we continued to “act gay” around his children. He wanted us to lie about everything and act like we were “just friends”. I told him I refuse to put on a show just to dance around the subject. I also told him that Rodney is their uncle and that’s final. I told him this conversation was over, and hung up the phone. My whole body hurt. I felt this strange pain in my stomach that I’ve never HAD before. It was sharp and intense, and I could barely stand up. Waking up The next morning, I woke up. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality. My brother had betrayed me. I thought all the homophobia was in my past. I never thought my own blood would turn on me. Ignorance tears families apart. Ignorance is closer than you think. Ignorance broke my heart.
 My life is rated NC-17. What is your life rated? That’s right bitches. No surprises there, huh? My friend Ziggy took this quiz and was rated R. I was surprised to learn this; I think he’s the horniest blogger I know. Oh well. He may be the horniest, but I’m the dirtiest (and the kinkiest, according to Vince)
The Master Bedroom Here’s the newest photo from our home, the Master Bedroom. This really is one of my favorite places in the house (I’m not trying to be dirty). It’s very comfortable, and the bed has a lot of texture to it. The down comforter is great all year long. In the summer, it absorbs the air conditioning and in the winter, it absorbs the heat. Our oldest cat, Purr Purr, loves to cuddle up in the folds of the comforter. I also love the fur throw. Don’t worry, it’s faux, so no animals were killed for it. But the headboard is real leather - some animal wasn’t so lucky. Unfortunately, the details of the bed don’t show up. The comforter has a subtle white stripe pattern and there is also a down sheet underneath it. The red pillows in the back have a red stripe pattern and so do the red sheets. The red fitted sheet, which covers the mattress, has an awesome curled pattern that matches the pillow in the middle. And the lampshades on the nightstands have a mechanical pattern. What It Means to “Expose Yourself” You can learn a lot about a person just by seeing something inside their house. So occasionally, I post a photo from our home and explain what’s in the picture. Click here to see the “Expose Yourself” archives. You can also “Expose Yourself” It’s more fun than you think. Go ahead and do it. Take a picture and post it on your blog, and explain what’s in the picture. Several other bloggers have done it too. See the archives for more.
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Warning: This is a post about ass. If you do not like ass, you will not like this post.
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Last week, I had the strangest dream about my brother. I’ve had a lot of bad dreams about the situation since it happened in July (I’ll explain).
