Remember in 2011 when Lady Gaga released the song, “You and I”? The first thing I noticed was that every gay guy I knew made a point to say “you and I” repeatedly in conversation. I guess they thought it made them sound more intelligent to imitate Lady Gaga.
- “Remember the time you and I went to the park and you and I both ate club sandwiches and you and I commented on how tasty they were? That was such a great day for you and I and I think you and I should do that again sometime when the weather is nice. Do you think you and I could start making it a habit to talk about you and I as much as humanly possible every single time we open our mouths? I think you and I should do that so you and I will sound smart.”
Yeah, that’s kind of what it sounded like to me.
The fact is, “you and I” isn’t always correct. Sometimes it’s “you and me” and that’s okay. My grammar isn’t perfect either, but most of the time I know the difference between “you and I” and “you and me” when I’m having a conversation.
This leads me to the “fiscal cliff” I have been hearing about non-stop since election night. Before then, nobody ever said “fiscal.” I knew what it was, and I probably heard the word one time in my entire adult life when I was talking to someone about my 401k. But that’s it. Nobody used that word on a daily basis, because quite honestly, it kind of sounds ridiculous.
It’s like you’re going to accidentally say “physical,” but then you’re clever enough to catch yourself. Then you do a little happy dance in your head because you’re so proud that you pronounced it correctly.
Yeah, it’s kind of funny to say. But nobody fucking said it before.
Now I hear people trying to insert it into conversation, like they’re clever. A woman was on the news last week, talking about some bullshit. I don’t remember what. Honey Boo-Boo’s plans for Christmas? Anyway, she tried to say something was “fiscally good for the economy.”
“Fiscally good for the economy.”
Yep, you heard it hear folks. Nobody says that. No-bod-y. But she did.
Oh, and then Daniel and I were standing around in a bar last weekend. This guy starts talking about something. Again, I have no idea what. I just know the drink I ordered was awful and I should have sent it back. But I digress.
We’re all standing around talking, and there’s this 22-year-old and it’s his first time in a bar. And he’s trying to hook up with this 30-something bear, but this other guy, who’s in his 40s, also seems interested in the bear. So they’re all going at it, trying to compete, and I’m thinking at any minute they’re both just going to whip ‘em out and compare sizes to settle things. Well then the 40-something says, “Yeah, I do think we should start taxing cocaine and bath salts. It would be good for the fiscal cliff.”
(Okay, I don’t really think he said we should tax coke and salts…)
But he did say such-and-such would be “good for the fiscal cliff.”
The point is, we should all just agree to stop using words we hear on the news or radio when they’re not part of our vocabulary. It’s obvious and it draws more attention than it should.
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