A Big FAIL in Foreskin Rights
I am very disappointed to read that a San Francisco judge has shut down plans to ban underage circumcision of boys.
The proposed law, which would have been on the ballots this November, would make it illegal for parents to circumcise their son if he was under the age of 18.
Consider these facts:
- Female circumcision has already been banned in the United States. I guess males don’t deserve the same protection?
- Circumcision is illegal in many countries, and in others, it is only performed in emergency situations. The United States is one of the only countries that performs circumcision as an elective surgery where no harm is being caused by the foreskin.
- Circumcision kills more babies each year than suffocation or car accidents. (Source)
- The overall circumcision rate on newborns in the U.S. is down to 33% and continues to drop each year. New parents are making the smart choice for their sons.
I found it particularly infuriating that Judge Loretta Giorgi said, “The evidence presented is overwhelmingly persuasive that circumcision is a widely practiced medical procedure.”
Overwhelmingly persuasive? Really? I don’t suppose that has anything to do with the fact that many hospitals charge $500 to snip babies and some even sell the foreskins to cosmetic companies for use in products. Hmmm… I don’t suppose there would be any bias from the doctors who make quick, easy money on circumcision, would there?
Also, just because it’s “widely practiced” doesn’t mean it’s right. I wonder if she’d feel the same if the topic was female circumcision, which again, is illegal in the U.S.
Read the full article about the judge’s decision here.
Spending the Day with Me
Working from home requires plenty of concentration and quiet time. I try to operate the same way I would if I were leaving the house each day to go into an office. So I keep Anna upstairs in her crate, just as many dog owners do when they go to work.
Most of the time, this arrangement works pretty well. But somedays, Anna won’t stop crying, which means Daddy Nathan can’t get any work done. So I have to bring her downstairs to my home office in order to get her to calm down.
Here’s Anna, looking very happy and satisfied that she gets to spend the day with me:
And here’s Purr Purr, less than thrilled that a doggie has interrupted our quiet time:
It’s Broccoli Botch!
The website Damn You Auto Correct has become my new obsession! It gets me laughing until I cry!
Here’s one of my favorites. I find myself wanting to walk into the room and announce, “It’s broccoli botch!” every where I go. Ha ha!
And here’s another funny one, where a son says he’s come out of the closet, only to be met by his mother saying she always had a hunch. Turns out he meant to type that he was coming out of the clinic instead. Whoops.
If you’ve never been to the site, you should go there now! Just make sure you have the rest of your afternoon free because I guarantee you’re going to be there awhile!
They’re Called Seasons, People!
Every summer, I listen to my friends bitch about how hot it is. Then every winter, I listen to them bitch about how cold it is. It’s almost as if people get amnesia and forget what seasons are.
I think everyone should move to San Francisco where the average temperature is 60 degrees every day of the year.
And I’m so sorry if you broke a bead of sweat while walking from your air conditioned car into your air conditioned office. Life’s hard, I know. 
Justin Yermouth Returns with Advice on Vaginal Fisting
Last year, I wrote a guest advice column called Ask Justin Yermouth on my friend Chris’ blog, My 2 Cents. It was a spin-off of his own advice column, Ask Sofanda Cox.
Well since Chris is too busy fucking animals on FarmVille to write anymore, and I presume Sofanda drank one too many vodkas and fell down a flight of stairs, I suppose it’s my duty to keep the dream alive. Afterall, what would the world do without the brutally honest advice of fictional characters? So without further ado, here it is…
Dear Justin,
My boyfriend wants to fist my vagina. At first I was apprehensive, but after watching some videos with him, I think it looks kind of hot. We’ve been practicing and he can get four fingers in. I think I’m ready to go all the way with it. Do you have any advice?
Open Wide Wanda
- Dear Wanda,
Good for you for being such a versatile whore. It sounds like you’re a real doormat if you’d let a man wreck the only vagina you’ll ever have. And “boyfriend,” you say? So he hasn’t even put a ring on it yet? Interesting that you’re willing to let a man crack open your bearded oyster without any long-term commitment to stick around after it’s reduced to a sloppy ham sandwich that will look like it threw up all over itself.
Anyhoos, on a positive note, fisting can be a wonderful thing. It can give you a full body orgasm that rocks you to the core. I don’t know why it’s such a taboo topic. Nobody thinks twice about putting a dick or a few fingers in there. So what’s the big deal with putting a whole fist up there?
But there are some things I need to warn you about… First of all, don’t think you’re close just because he can get four fingers in you. That’s nature’s wicked sense of humor fucking with you. The real challenge is the knuckle of his thumb. It takes a lot of practice and patience to get past that fifth knuckle, but once he does, sliding the rest of his hand in will be easy.
Second, and just as important, I think you should know that men never marry their fist fuck girlfriend. It’s just not happening. Sure, you might have some wild, kinky, amazing sex now. But the woman he shoves his whole hand up isn’t going to be the mother of his children. So I hope you don’t plan on this relationship going any further once you cross that threshold.
Now that you’ve gone this far, it’s hard to turn him down without looking like the total cock tease of a whore that you are. But hey, just remember that once you’re loose, he’ll be able to throw a hotdog in there and just watch it bounce around. That’s no fun at all.
Keep it tight, girlfriend!
Justin
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That’s it for now, boys and girls! Be sure to submit your questions to Justin in the comments.
Summertime Memory with Mom
It’s bedtime here and I thought I’d close out the day with a fond memory of summertime with Mom.
This story is from early childhood. Mom was self-employed so she was at home working while Dad went to his job each day.
As you can imagine, Mom worked best when little Nathan was quiet and didn’t get into too much mayhem. Sometimes she’d promise me that if I was very good, she’d take me swimming at the lake on Friday. Mom always kept her promises, so I knew she meant it.
Each day, I’d try my best to behave while impatiently counting down to the end of the week. It wasn’t easy, but it did teach me self control and discipline.
When Friday came, I’d get up early and gather up my beach ball, my favorite alligator raft, flip flops, and I was already dressed in my swim trunks. In fact, I think I’d slept in them. Then I’d pace outside by the car, waiting for Mom. I can just hear myself grumbling, “Mommmm, c’mon! I’ve been a good boy all week, letsgo! Pleeease!”
We finally made it to the lake in Mom’s big ol’ Lincoln Towncar. I jumped out as soon as we parked, went running through the hot sand and into the water. Mom laid on a fold-out chair to work on her suntan while reading People Magazine.
When I was ready for a break, we’d go to the concession stand and I watched them make cotton candy. I liked the blue kind. It reminded me of the sky.
I can still recall that sweet, sugary smell of freshly made cotton candy, spun in circles on those white paper sticks like clouds. I’d stick my whole face in it and bite off a big chunk. The sticky residue was all over my nose and cheeks, but I didn’t care. It was so good.
Mom and I would spend a few more hours in the water, then dry off and head home. It was another great day of summer.
Well that’s the end of tonight’s story, boys and girls. Have sweet cotton candy dreams and enjoy your summer day tomorrow!
Wedding Photos, Part 2: The Ceremony
Daniel and I were married on April 2, 2011.
The top of the wedding cake with a rainbow flag flying proudly in the background.
A photo of Daniel getting dressed for the wedding.
