Look What I Found
Garbage Pail Kids.
Oh, how I loved these. I would compete with my older brothers to collect the most.
Circumcision Mission, Part 1
Earlier this week, I talked about how I want to start a mission to decrease the number of circumcisions, starting with my local community.
The key to this mission is education and resources. I need to know all the facts and then gather a group of supporters to help in this.
My first step was writing my personal doctor and telling him my views on this issue. Since he has 3 sons of his own, I knew he would have a strong opinion, but I wasn’t sure which side he would take.
To my pleasant surprise, he is passionately against circumcision. He called it “torture” and went on to say it was “an unnecessary risk” that can lead to “infection, bleeding, scarring,” as well as a loss of sensitivity in the penis.
The problem, as he explained it, is that almost everybody here in the south believes circumcision is normal and the right thing to do. When he asks parents why they want to circumcise their baby, the response is simple, like “I didn’t know we had a choice” or “because that’s the way it’s always been done in our family.”
There’s a lot of work to be done in educating the public. But now that I already have a medical professional in my corner, I feel inspired to keep exploring this topic.
How Do I Stop Circumcision?
It’s been nearly 2 years since I started talking about circumcision and foreskin restoration.
The response has been very positive. Most people who read my blog agree that the foreskin is a great thing, and also understand that sexual pleasure is greatly reduced for circumcised men. But then again, most of the people who read my blog are open-minded and intelligent individuals. So of course they see the big picture. 
But the broader spectrum is very depressing. Regardless of what support I’ve received personally, the overwhelming majority of newborn boys are still circumcised in the U.S. There are ongoing myths and phobias about the foreskin. People don’t understand how important it is, they don’t understand how much sensitivity is lost when it is removed, and they don’t realize just how barbaric the act of circumcision really is.
We’re cutting off part of the penis, people!
It’s the most insane, twisted procedure I’ve ever heard of. You would only cut off a part of your body if it was horribly infected and your life depended on it. So how in the world did it ever become acceptable to start mutilating happy, healthy boys?
My brain hurts when I really start analyzing the craziness of it all.
So how do I make a difference?
I’ve been reading a lot about how to successfully enforce change. If I just tried to tackle the great big problem of circumcision today, I would be exhausted. Change cannot happen without smaller steps and smaller plans that lead to a larger, overall goal. I may never stop circumcision in the world, but with a progressive plan, I can possibly start making a difference.
One idea I came up with was talking to local OB/GYN clinics and learning about the information new parents receive. Is there a brochure specifically tailored for baby boys? If so, is there any information about circumcision? Also, what is the discussion process for baby boys? Do doctors talk with parents about the facts on circumcision, or do they just pressure them to do it?
This is stuff I honestly have no idea about. But if I learned about the process for parents, I could possibly start getting some allies on my side. Would a doctor be willing to encourage the parents to not circumcise their baby? Would they be willing to ask the parents to let their son wait until he’s older so he can decide for himself?
Pulling in some team power
There are a lot of experts online who can help with the facts about circumcision. Many of them have informational websites about foreskin restoration, and/or sell products that assist in the restoration process. I think that if I could start working with them and get them to share some of the staggering facts and feedback they probably have, I could utilize that power and find ways to get their help too.
It’s a start. I’ll report more later.
Ring Hunting
The excitement makes me feel like my heart is beating out of my chest.
The time has come to show the man I love just how much he means to me. It’s been in the works for a long time. I knew very early on that Daniel was the one I’d propose to. After that, it was merely a matter of getting to know each other better and making sure that our goals in life were compatible.
I’m finally at that place. Ready to make the next move, and yesterday I officially started the hunt for his engagement ring. He only knows general details, but the final event is a surprise that I won’t be sharing with anybody.
My forehead was dripping with sweat even though the temperature in the jewelry store was quite cold. I walked up to the glass counter, dozens of golds, metals and diamonds flickering in the light. Where did I begin? I could hardly even speak.
A modern twist on an old tradition
Asking a man to marry you is still uncommon, especially if the one proposing is another man. There are no set rules, no specific traditions. We can do whatever we want. But in my own way, I’m still very old-fashioned.
Sure, I’m gay. But I don’t think that’s trendy or outrageous. Gay people have always been around. We’re just more liberated. But when it comes to love and marriage, I am very much an old soul. I believe in monogamy and being faithful. There will be no open relationships, or flirting with other men, or any of this other nonsense that I see in the gay community. I am committed to one man only, and I will never share my attention or interest with someone else.
My outlook on the proposal is old-fashioned too. I want to propose to Daniel with an engagement ring. When we have our ceremony, I’ll give him another ring — his wedding ring. It all made sense in my head. But the actual search is proving to be a bit more complicated.
Men’s rings are thicker and most of them aren’t made to be stacked in the way that women’s are. So putting an engagement ring on top of a wedding ring looks a bit unusual. The size, style, color(s), texture(s), and finish all need to be compatible.
What I’m looking for
There are all kinds of rings online at great prices. They look amazing and the choices are unlimited. I’ve bookmarked at least a dozen contenders. But after seeing the rings in person yesterday, I realized this is not something I can do online. It’s just too important to me.
One thing I’m really leaning toward is black. It’s unique, and I think we’re unique people. Yellow gold has definitely been ruled out. White gold, silver, titanium, and many other metals are options. I’ve seen rings online that are black, or a very dark metal, and even black diamonds. For the wedding band itself, I anticipate a solid band. So I just have to check out the engagement ring on top of the solid band to make sure they work well together.
Black rings are easy to find online but harder to find in stores. Any place you walk into already has a ratio of 80/20 between women’s and men’s jewelry, so the selection is smaller to begin with. Once I find the tiny men’s section of the store, the chances of finding anything black are even smaller. But I’m searching all over, and I know I’ll find the ring I’m looking for.
The rings pictured above are not in the running
That was the closest combination I could find yesterday. I’m 99% certain that I won’t be purchasing those, but I thought a photo would help illustrate my search. It’s such an exciting chapter in my life! More to come…
Gay Republicans?
Gay + Republicans. It’s like peanut butter and asparagus. Not an appealing combination.
I’m gay and I don’t like Republicans. (GASP!) Yeah, I know. It’s pretty shocking. Take a moment to collect yourself and pick your jaw up off the floor.
I truly am a democrat. Not because it’s the cool thing to be, but because I believe in them. I spend a great deal of time following politics, gathering the facts, and drawing my own educated conclusions. My general mindset is in alignment with what their party stands for.
But over the past month, there have been whispers… Rumors… News reports that the Republican party is about to make a dramatic shift in 2012 to support gay marriage.
Why now?
The Republican party needs fresh blood. The 2008 elections proved that Americans are tired of crusty old white men pushing the same tired politics day in and day out. There are still a lot of crazy-ass, conservative crackheads in the Republican party. But they are gravitating toward this stupid tea bagger business. I think they will eventually just cannibalize each other and die off. I actually think this insane tea party movement is a good thing. They are going to trap themselves in their own minority, which will open up opportunities for stronger, more level-headed candidates to run for office.
As older voters die, younger voters take over and start to shape the future. We’re talking about a new generation of voters. Regardless of their political affiliation, young voters simply don’t have a problem with gay people. It’s part of their culture, their music, their television. Young voters have been around openly gay people for as long as they can remember and that’s fine with them.
So how did the gay community get mixed up in this?
The underlying belief system of Republicans has been that the government should not dictate people. I’ve heard them preach and preach about this, especially when it comes to taxes. It was also a big debate when universal healthcare came up. Republicans didn’t want to insure Americans, but they did want to give them a tax break.
In a strange way, it actually makes sense for Republicans to support gay marriage. It aligns with their belief in not letting the government interfere. I’m borrowing a bit of this philosophy from other articles I’ve read, but I’m starting to see the point.
If the Republicans wanted to make a radical shift, gay marriage would be the way to go. It would appeal to younger voters and make the party look more progressive. Conservatives would throw a fit, but who cares because it would just alienate them deeper into the tea party with nut cases like Sarah Palin. So at the end of the day, you’d have forward-thinking Republicans battling the Democrats, who are not looking so hot these days.
I do love my democrats. But they have been slow. Too slow. And it’s hurting them. Change is coming, but not quickly enough. Calm and calculated is a smart tactic, and I applaud them for being wise with their decisions. But they need some sparkle for the naysayers and the swing voters. They need something, anything to win over the people who are always on the fence.
Would you support the Republicans if they pushed for gay marriage?
In 2004, we were the wedge issue that helped re-elect Bush into office. If these rumors are true and the Republican party does start to open up more to equality for gay people, we will undoubtedly be a wedge issue once again in 2012. This time around, will we be a wedge for the other team?
I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I believe in the Democrats and can’t imagine voting for a Republican. That’s how passionate I am about the party. But if the Republicans pushed this agenda and the Democrats failed to step up, it would certainly be a tough call. Would I give up everything else I believe in just for equality as a gay man? And if I did, would I undoubtedly be let down when the elected official didn’t live up to their campaign promises?
What would you do?
