The Reunion
My high school reunion is coming up… And I’m torn…
High school sucked for me. I wish I could say something positive, but it really was a terrible experience. I was openly gay, socially awkward, and very shy. What a great way to attract the attention of bullies.
10 years have passed… a whole decade. I’ve grown up, evolved, and am much more comfortable with myself. I’ve handled so much in life. Surely I can handle a room full of people that I hate, right?
For years, I’ve said there was no way I’d attend the reunion. Somewhere along the way, I got a burst of optimism and decided it would be fun. So I was finally in.
But now that it’s just a few months away, I am once again second guessing everything. I don’t like these people. I don’t want to be around them. I’m not scared or intimidated anymore. I just don’t particularly feel like wasting my time with them.
The truth is that I live in a bubble. All of my friends are gay, I only go to gay-friendly neighborhoods, restaurants, parties, etc. It is very rare that I have to deal with homophobia, or even be reminded that it exists. Going to this social gathering would burst that bubble, and I don’t want that.
Surely there are other gay readers out there who have dealt with this. How did you feel about it? Does it bring closure to bad memories or does it just remind you that awful people are out there?
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I think almost everyone hated me in school because I was the nerd. After I came out a couple years ago, they have another reason to hate me. 10 year reunion coming up next year – will definitely not be going, waste of time like you said. Love the straight friends I made in college, though – will invent reunions just to meet up.
It does nothing but bore you to death – a bit like meeting a long lost friend after years and finding you’ve evolved and they haven’t. That bunch of people from high school clearly are not important to you – you don’t feel like going so don’t. The whole ‘closure etc.’ stuff is not real – if you have a good life and know yourself, why meet some stupids from the past since you have nothing to prove to them nor to yourself.
Nathan….Also, did not go to mine. Why torture yourself…..Joe
Its been 14 years since I graduated high school. Ive never gone back to my reunions and I just remember the first one was set in a bar, from what I heard there were people dancing on tables and even girls crying under them. These are supposed adults.
I was a fairly shy guy in high school, kept to myself and just prayed to get through. I was never bullied but I wasnt openly gay. I didnt even know what gay was in HS. I just worried about homework and then getting to my afterwork job.
My 20th is coming up and I will not be attending. High school was pure hell for me. i was outed by what i thought was a close friend. I grew up in small town Kansas and constantly was called names and threatened daily. Teachers even knew this and never once helped. It’s amazing to me that the same people who tormented me are now finding me on facebook and wanting to become my friend. Their intentions may be good but the sting of the past still hurts. The one thing I do owe them is the thank you for making me stronger. I survived. Other than that I have no use for them
You should at least check it out Nathan. A lot has changed in 10 years. I bet most of the people you went to school with either have a gay family member, co worker, or realized they were gay themselves! Kids in high school can be really mean. I bet it won’t be as bad as you think it will. Check it out. If you get a bad vibe, leave.
Try being in high school NOW.
I get bullied, but I can’t help but wait to go to my reunion in the future and laugh at all the people that made fun of me.
Go and have fun.
This has been really amazing to get the insights and stories from other gay people and their high school experience. Thanks for sharing.
And Brendan, I especially want to say something to you since you’re in high school now… I’m sorry to hear that you’re being bullied. I hoped that in 2010, things were more progressive. The good news is that it will be over and the opinions of your classmates really won’t mean a thing in the real world.
Can we just clarify that not ALL of your friends are actually gay? Not that I’m a typical straight girl…or typical anything (hee-hee)….
but seriously, I’m sure you’re curious about some of your old classmates, but none of them sound like they’re worth the effort of attending a reunion. Even if some of them may have “matured” past their old homophobic/bullying ways—why waste your time with that bunch? Have any of them sought you out to make amends during the past 10 years?
Hey Nathan, I just discovered your blog while reading about searching “Kathy Griffin Does The Bible Belt” & I love it! You have a wicked personality & post some good stuff, keep it up! I’m definitely saving this blog to my favourites.
Conflicted. Went to my boyfriend’s last July and had a blast ’cause no one knew me. Palo Alto, California, so the gay issue didn’t come up.
I went to an all-boys Catholic high school, so the gay issue will definitely come up. Mine’s this year… or would be if anybody had the nerve to plan it. I occasionally check my school’s website, and there are notices about other years, but mine’s missing. I’m not working right now so I’ve unfortunately got the time to volunteer, but I don’t want to.
I worked with a guy who helped plan his class’s 10th reunion. He still lived in the same town, was very active with the reunion planning for months and everybody at work knew about it, so the Monday after everybody wanted to know how it was. He got very embarrassed and said that evening he’d made it as far as the parking lot but couldn’t get out of his car. Watched other people arrive, most with spouses or dates, dressed up and looking like they were expecting a good time, and after all that planning he just couldn’t do it. But he couldn’t just go back home either ’cause he’d moved in with his parents to save money for a house, so he left, got some dinner, went to a movie, and then went home and lied to his parents about what a good time he’d had.
That would be me, and I don’t want to be that guy.
There’s three guys I would have thought I’d like to see again after all this time. One dumped me when I came out to him, one’s occasionally in contact but is a bit of a flake, and the one I want to see more than anyone else in the world is dead. My boyfriend thinks I should go for closure. I think closure is overrated.
Irisgirl – I stand corrected, haha!
And no, they have not made amends, but this isn’t about holding grudges. Remember, I’m rarely one to be vindictive. It’s more about just not wasting the time and energy to travel back for mine.
Joey – How exciting and flattering! Thank you so much
I hope you enjoyed the special last night too! We were on there, but too distant to really point out.
Gary – Thanks for the insight. I’m sorry that one of the people you’d like to see has since passed on. Sounds like you have a tough call to make, if it’s even being planned at all.