Lift Your Leg and Say “Hey, Gurl!”

Sep 23, 2009 | Filed in Family, Humor | 4 Comments

Let me set this up for you. Petey is the miniature schnauzer that I had with my ex, Rodney. After the break-up, Rodney and I both agreed that Petey would go live with him.

Petey never hiked his leg when he went to pee. I don’t know if it’s a learned behavior or not. He was never around other dogs and we didn’t have any trees. I don’t know if that matters. Anyway, he just squatted in the yard to pee. He’s 4 years old.

But…

A few days ago, Rodney called to tell me Petey lifted his leg to pee on a tree. He walked right up to it, gave it a good squirt, and was done. He hasn’t done it again.

I would just like to know the insight into this. Did Petey plot the whole scene in his head? Did he practice the big event days in advance? I can just see him thinking about it at night. The right angle, the right presentation, it was all mapped out so he would pee like a pro.

And how did he feel after he did it? Was he proud, triumphant, embarrassed? Clearly he didn’t like it since he hasn’t done it since.

I really wish I had been there to see Petey’s first pee on a tree. He’s always been such a homo. I can just imagine him lifting one leg and saying, “Hey, Gurl! Look at my thighs, I’ve been working out.”

Holla.

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I'm a happily married gay man, self employed as a website designer, writing about my life and the world as I see it.
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