The Roly Poly Bug Incident
Before I get started, does everyone know what a roly poly bug is? The technical term is Armadillidiidae.
Okay, so there was a roly poly bug walking across the floor in the dining area. I guess he found his way into the house and decided to explore. As a rule, I don’t like to kill bugs. I don’t even like to pick them up to put outside, because I feel like that must be so traumatic for them. So I decided to just let him go in peace. Who was he harming?
Another bug’s life spared, courtesy of me.
Petey (who is a dog in case you’re new here) walked over and observed the roly poly. Then, with one quick motion, he slurped up the roly poly and ate it.
Petey killed the roly poly bug.
How Did I Get Here?
I’m a liar. A big ol’ phony. I haven’t just been lying to others, but to myself.
Maybe denial is a better word. Yeah, I think denial seems more fitting. I’ve denied my true feelings, and without that kind of honesty, I obviously can’t open up to others.
I’ve been in much worse shape than I let people know. I just don’t want people to worry. So I put on the sunshine smile and act like everything is okay.
But I’m in bad shape. According to this depression test, I’m in the “Severe” range.
My doctor has put me on Lexapro and I take my first pill in the morning. It’s a mild anti-depressant and anti-anxiety pill. We’ll see how it goes.
But medicine is just a band-aid. The only way I’m going to get better is if one of us moves out. We don’t really have the money to swing a mortgage payment and an apartment payment at the same time, but something has to give. Living with Rodney is tearing me apart.
I’ve kept hoping this would work itself out, but sometimes hope just doesn’t cut it. I’m taking action and this is going to get better.
The Fart Bandit Returns!
The rotten scoundrel is back in town.
Last year, I told the story of how my dog Petey had come to love visits from the Fart Bandit. Who is the Fart Bandit, you may ask. Well, you should read the original post for the full story. But in short, the Fart Bandit is the sneaky burst of gas that slips out of Petey at random. Petey jerks his head back dramatically, as if he’s trying to catch it in the act. He has never quite figured out what’s going on back there.
After a long winter in hibernation, the Fart Bandit is back. He first made an appearance a few nights ago when Petey was sitting on the floor, thinking doggy dog thoughts, or whatever he thinks about.
There was a sudden squeaking sound, which made Petey jump to his feet and start looking around. Who was back there? Where did he go? What was he doing?
Let this be a warning to all that the Fart Bandit is on the loose again. He may be blowing into your town next, so beware! The Fart Bandit an unstoppable force of nature.
Oh, Bea. I’ll Miss You.
Bea Arthur, my favorite Golden Girl, passed away today of cancer at age 86. It was always a dream of mine to see her perform. I missed the chance on her last stand-up comedy tour, and I guess I always hoped she would give one more show.
Do You Know What Peeves Me?
Christian Male Seeking Christian Roommate
It really bugs me when I see ads on Craigslist requesting a Christian roommate.
First of all, it’s actually against Craigslist’s fair housing policy. You cannot discriminate against tenants for their personal beliefs and you’re not even supposed to ask them.
Second, it implies to me that a gay guy probably wouldn’t be welcome there. I realize I’m being a bit presumptuous, and there are many Christians that are accepting of gay people… but I’m just going to go out on a limb here and guess it wouldn’t work out.
Third, I don’t understand why it should even matter. I think a truly good landlord will respect his tenant’s privacy, not ask him personal questions, and try to leave him alone. So who cares what the tenant’s personal beliefs are?
I do believe in God. I know I come off as Atheist sometimes with the things I say, but I really do believe in a higher power. I just feel that religion is a very personal thing. I don’t believe it should be integrated into the process of finding renters, you know?
Anyway, there are laws to protect against this, so it’s a moot point. I flag every single ad I see that mentions religion… here in Tennessee, there are plenty.
(Update: There was some confusion in the comments, so just to be clear, they are the landlord.)
Diccups
My friend Irisgirl sent me this, and I’ve been meaning to post it. This is exactly the kind of dialogue I imagine straight guys have on a regular basis. Funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1ZbEhJ40XI
The 4 Stages of Grief
- Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, just a few
Stages of acceptance that it’s really over
It’s just so complicated
I’m stupid for believing in you
— Darren Hayes, “Unlovable”
Well, the last stage finally hit. Denial was easy. Those were the posts where I said Rodney and I were going to try again… Yeah, total bullshit. I had no interest in “trying again”. I just agreed to do it because my parents convinced me it was the right thing to do.
Anger and Bargaining hit me at the same time with a fury like you couldn’t imagine. It happened last Thursday night. I stormed into the room yelling at Rodney, demanding an explanation for his actions. Trying to understand “why me, why me?”
His response? “I was bored.”
Bored. With me. 8 years and that’s all it took to cheat on me. Boredom. He laughed in my face and told me to go away.
Depression hit me just this morning. I had a dream of us together. I was kissing him and told him I wanted us to get back together. He gladly agreed, saying I was “all he’d ever wanted.”
But then a sobering moment came in my dream. I realized what he’d done, and that we could never go back. So in the end of the dream, I finally accepted it was truly over.
And it is over. I have no desire to get back with him. No fluffy visions of us spending the rest of our lives together. My whole world has changed and my life is taking a different path. But it will all be better. I know that. And most days, I’m very happy. So all things considered, I think I’ve handled everything with a healthy and balanced attitude.
I’m talking to my bank to see if there is any chance at all I could re-finance the house in just my name. I realize the chances are slim to none that I could swing it alone. But I’m going to go ahead and see, just to cover that base.
I’ve also contacted our realtor to have her pull some numbers and see if there is any hope for selling this house at a decent price. The market has actually been fairly steady on our street. But we’ll see.
Dancing In Public
I think if more people broke out into dance in public places, the world would just be a better place. Look at the smiles on everyone’s faces. (Thanks Irisgirl.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UE3CNu_rtY
Scared For My Life
I’ve never been so scared.
Take a look at this photo from a traffic cam. Do you see the tornado way back to the left? That’s where I live.
It all happened so fast. Rodney told me a tornado was on the way and we frantically gathered up the pets. I hunkered down in a closet downstairs and Rodney rushed across the street to a friend’s house. We’ve always had an agreement with our friend that if bad weather struck, we would try to go over and get her dogs in a closet… if it was safe, of course. So he was there and I was here.
Since I was in the closet, I obviously couldn’t see what was going on, but I turned up the TV so I could hear it in the closet. The news reporter was naming off the streets and subdivisions where the tornado was coming. It was getting closer and closer.
I started crying and praying and shaking. I know a lot of my readers don’t believe in God, but I personally do. I prayed God would let the tornado pass, that it would take a different direction.
It was 4 miles down the street from me.
Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, another tornado was coming my way from the opposite side of town. There I was, sandwiched in the path of two major tornadoes.
The crying persisted, the praying went on… and finally, it passed. The tornado spared our street.
Our town is pretty torn up. Two story houses are now just rubble. Cars are flipped over and strewn about like toys. If that tornado had hit, I really feel like I would be dead.
Thankfully I’ll live to see another day. But I never want to feel this way again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q01uAPoaBAc
Live from the Bachelor Pad
Thanks for the continued support. I’ve received comments, e-mails, and phone calls checking up on me, and I really appreciate all the care and concern.
Well, I guess I have my own bachelor pad now. I’ve moved a bed into the home office, and it’s kind of nice actually. Kind of reminds me of a college dorm, but I do love the easy access to everything in the room.
Rodney is sleeping in another room and we are getting along better. Earlier in the week, we were at each other’s throats.
I don’t know how long this will work out, but it works for now. We can be house mates until we are ready to deal with the house. As long as the bills are paid and we get along, I’m fine.
So don’t you worry about me. I’m just a big bundle of sunshine. No matter how hard the clouds and rain try to block it, the sun always shines through eventually.
I will love and be loved, and I will not give up on happily ever after.
“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.”
— Richard Bach
