The After Christmas Post

Dec 29, 2008 | Filed in Family | 6 Comments

Hello all! I hope you had happy holidays.

After almost a week away, Rodney and I are back in Tennessee and getting back to things. I must say it’s been an introspective week. We’ve come to terms and are facing the grim truths of how we feel.

Rodney and I, as well as my parents, have all agreed we no longer enjoy Christmas. There is a long list of reasons why, and as much as I’d like to go into detail, I think it would only come off as whiny when I really don’t intend to be.

I guess the short version is that it’s just not the same. Our family is shrinking. In the last 2 years, Rodney has lost his father, I’ve lost my grandmother (Mom’s side), and Rodney’s nephew passed away. Family traditions are waning and all that’s left is a fake smile as we are reminded of Christmas past, when we had happier times.

The funny thing is I can’t name one thing that went wrong this week. We had good visits with many family members, spent quality time, ate good meals, have some laughs, shared some hugs. If this were a movie, everything would seem just fine.

But there is an emptiness we feel and we discussed it with my parents. All 4 of us feel it, so it can’t just be coincidence. None of us are sure if we will ever be able to move on and enjoy the holidays. We feel like we’re just going through the motions, doing what’s expected, but none of us really feel the way we’d like to feel (or used to feel).

So I guess this is something we’ll need to work on. The human spirit is always a work in progress, right? It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels lost, and maybe as a family, we can all lean on each other to find our way in the dark.

In the mean time, Rodney and I are both ready and waiting for the new year. It’s a symbolic opportunity to shed any burdens from 2008 and get a fresh start.

2009, here we come.

Did you like this article? If so, please share it.

6 Comments

About Nathan

I'm a happily married gay man, self employed as a website designer, writing about my life and the world as I see it.
Learn More About Me

A Word from Our Sponsors