What Is the Montauk Monster?
Cloverfield, is that you?
It all started when this mysterious beast washed up on the shores of Montauk, NY. On Tuesday, a photo of it was posted on Gawker.com
With its unusual beak and sharp teeth, rumors quickly spread that it was a “monster”. Was it some kind of turtle without a shell, a dog with a decomposed snout, a pig? WTF?
The mystery continued to unfold, and since the exact whereabouts of the body are unknown, people decided it was all a hoax… That is until witnesses started coming forward claiming they too had seen the body on the beach.
Now new photos have surfaced, taken by a different person. In these shots, it just kind of looks like a dog. Not nearly as interesting as a monster, I know. And the “beak” was actually just the bone of the nose, taken at a strange angle.
I actually have a theory of my own. It’s a creature sent by God to punish us all for trying to legalize gay marriage. The Bible thumpers always warned us that bad things would happen if queers started getting married. Too bad God forget to make the creature water proof. But hey, the universe wasn’t created in a day. Sending a creature to punish us all for gay marriage might take a few prototypes to get it right.
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It’s a Bush Pig. I’m a descendant of them.