Okay, What Is It?

May 19, 2008 / Filed in Humor / 4 Comments

Last week, I posted a photo of an object and asked what people thought it was. Incidentally, I had a lot of fun with that. Maybe I should do that more often.

Most of you guessed a pretzel. Really? Wow.

I thought it looked like a butthole. A very dirty butthole with smegma on it. But hey, that’s just how this mind operates.

It’s actually a belly button.

This poor, poor man. Part of the photo looks normal, the other looks weird and splotchy. Is he melting? He also has a breast on the left, chest of the right.

Oh well. Even on a bad day, he still has better abs than I do.

Guess What This Is?

May 16, 2008 / Filed in Humor / 10 Comments

Let’s play a game. (I love games!)

Look at this photo to the right and guess what it’s a photo of. Go ahead, and I bet it’s not what you think. Post your answer in the comments and I’ll reveal the full photo in a few days.

Hey, I Lived There

May 15, 2008 / Filed in Expose Yourself / 2 Comments

The miracle that is Google Street View has made it way down south, and I’ve wasted at least an hour scrolling through the places I used to live. I feel so sentimental and nostalgic as I prowl through the streets of the neighborhoods, and visit all my favorite restaurants. Life always seems sweeter in retrospect.

^ Here’s the first apartment Rodney and I lived in when we moved to Raleigh, NC in January 2002. What a place. It was old and drafty. You have to turn the heat up to 80 to get any warmth at all in the winter. But it was home when I was in college, and I sure do have fond memories. It was also a beautiful neighborhood. I liked to go for walks after work and listen to the sounds of nature in the trees and see lightening bugs float past me. I can still recall the waving hands of friendly neighbors, the sounds of children playing, and the smell of flowers blooming.

^ This was our second apartment in Raleigh. We moved there in the middle of 2003. It was a nice place, friendly staff, newer amenities. But I don’t feel as attached to it. When I look at the balcony, I think of when my grandmother died and I sat out there crying. Not very happy memories. And there was no neighborhood. This apartment was literally right off the interstate, so there was nowhere to go walking.

^ I worked at a design firm here in Raleigh. It doesn’t look too exciting on the outside, but it was located in a very popular historical area of the city. My desk was right there at the window. Peek-a-boo!

^ This is the Nashville townhome we rented in 2005. Seeing this place stirs up a lot of emotions. There was a good share of drama that went down in this home. But there were also some very good memories. It’s just a mixed bag, but I’m glad we don’t live there anymore. The neighborhood was nice. If you went to the top of the hill, you could see the Nashville city skyline from 15 miles away. This was all possible due to the ridiculously steep hills in Tennessee.

Our most current home, which is the house we bought in 2006, hasn’t made the list yet. Maybe someday.

Armpits Fetish?

May 14, 2008 / Filed in Gay, Humor / 30 Comments

I learn something new everyday.

I’m founding out more and more that a lot of gay guys have an armpits fetish.

There are so many things you have to keep up with to be attractive to other guys. Gay guys are a picky crowd. But now we have to impress guys with our armpits too? And women think they have it bad. Whew.

So now I have to ask… what’s the criteria? How do I know if my armpits are sexy?

Are you looking at the bushy factor? Hair or no hair? Is it about the smell? Does it matter if the arms are really muscular to enhance the overall armpitiness? Do you like them sweaty?

I think armpits are kind of funny, especially bushy ones. I like to pretend they’re furry animal characters that can talk…. like Ozzy’s on Survivor. He was a smart player and had bushy armpits, so I made up a game where his armpits were his comrades and they gave him advice to help him outsmart everyone. I imagined scenarios that took place where he sat down and had a good talk with them before making his next move.

But hey, that’s just me. Please enlighten.

Did You Have a Past Life?

May 13, 2008 / Filed in Life / 3 Comments

I want you to try something for me. Roll your eyes upward, toward the back of your head. Try to see how much you can show of the white part of your eyes (without straining, of course). Is it easy for you? Is it difficult?

If you have an easy time doing it, you’re a good candidate for regression therapy, where you are hypnotized and can re-live events in your life that might be causing you deep emotional turmoil. The easier it is to do this, the easier it is for you to dive right into the depths of your emotions.

For me, it’s difficult to do. I have a hard time rolling them, so it’s not easy for me to reach the depths of my feelings, and requires extra effort and work. I can be hypnotized, but it might take longer to reveal anything. I guess I really do keep my emotions under lock and key.

But I’ve just had the strangest experience. I was watching an episode of Oprah with Dr. Oz (I love it when he’s on, they make such a great team.) The guest was Dr. Brian Weiss, and the show took an in depth look at people finding peace with events that had upset them earlier in their life.

It then went a step further as guests tapped into former lives. Very deep stuff, dealing with reincarnation and very intense events that seemed to scar people in their current life.

I’ve always believed in reincarnation, but never really taken the time to study it. There are many things in this world that we don’t have the answers to, and I find that exciting. Knowledge is power, and there is an unlimited amount of discoveries to be made in our lifetimes. I love it.

Hypnosis is not at all like in fictional movies. You don’t lose control of yourself and start clucking like a chicken. You’re completely aware of what’s happening and you know what you’re doing. I’ve listened to some hypnosis tapes, but very light stuff. I admit, I am scared to go too deep. But they always work for me.

During this episode, I watched Dr. Weiss hypnotize a patient, and I’m afraid I watched a bit too closely, because I started to feel different. Can a person be hypnotized through TV? I’m not sure.

After I watched it, my eyes felt very heavy, yet I wasn’t tired. I went upstairs and crawled into bed, turning off all noises, blocking out all lights.

I found myself surging into something… but I don’t know what. There was a message, there was an answer revealing itself. But I couldn’t get to it.

(Remember, I’m considered a bad candidate for going deeper.)

An hour later, my Mom called. She said I sounded like someone else, and got freaked out and wanted to get off the phone. It was strange.

I feel like I’ve tapped into a deeper part of myself and I hope to learn a lot more. Very interesting stuff.

I’m wondering, have you ever had any experience with hypnosis or past life studies?

Earthquake In China

May 12, 2008 / Filed in Life / 1 Comment

As many of you probably already know, a 7.9 magnitude earthquake hit China, killing close to 9,000 people.

How much is 9,000?

Well, we all remember the death and destruction of 9/11, and that was just under 3,000 people. We also remember Hurricane Katrina, which was 2,000 people.

I’m in no way trying to compare a natural disaster to 9/11. I’m just looking at this from a mathematical angle. China is now faced with losing 3 times more people than 9/11, and 4 times more than Katrina.

I don’t know about you, but I have a tenancy to be a bit blind to what goes on in other countries. I guess it’s out of sight, out of mind, because when something happens that’s far away, I somehow don’t grasp it as clearly.

So I just thought I should acknowledge, at least to myself, how tragic this is, and how many families and friends have been lost.

Very sad. 🙁

They All Come Out on Saturday

May 12, 2008 / Filed in Humor / 1 Comment

Attention Target Shoppers:
Get off your damn cell phone and trim your nails, please.

A weekend trip to Target proved to be eventful. Let’s start with the Highlights Sisters— 3 girls, all dark haired with the top of their heads looking like they had been dipped in a bowl of vanilla ice cream.

I was enjoying a leisurely session of browsing the latest books when the aisle was overtaken by the Highlights Sisters, all 3 yacking and texting away on their cell phones.

This trend simply has to be end. I don’t mind people having the occasional conversation on their phone. But the people who are completely oblivious to others around them should be put on a boat and sent out to sea. I wonder how long it would take them to disconnect from their phone and realize what happened to them?

I tried moving over to the music section, then DVD’s. Everywhere I went, it was just a matter of time before these 3 stooges ran people out of the aisles. They had no carts, no items… I honestly think they just wondered into Target to have phone conversations.

I finally gave up and went to find Rodney. Once we were ready to leave, we walked down the main aisle that goes all the way through the store. One of the sisters was stopped right there in the middle, one hand on her hip and the other pressed to her phone. Customers were weaving left and right to get around her.

Cat Man

When we got to the checkout, we were greeted by an 8 foot tall man. (Okay, maybe he wasn’t really 8 feet, I was never good at math.) I have sympathy for people this tall. Everyone in the room notices you, and they’re all uncomfortable because your crotch is at eye level. Not to mention the fact that you have to crouch to enter a room and ceiling fans are your enemy.

But Rodney and I were both distracted from his height as we zeroed in on his cat nails. They were freakishly long, and had been filed down at the ends to look sharp and pointy.

Sometimes we all get a little lazy and don’t trim our nails. But this was more than just a lazy fluke. His nails were manicured and shaped to look like long girly weapons. The odd part was that he was very masculine. Not the type of guy you expect to have cat claws.

Now let me stop right there. I know you’re probably thinking how bad could they be? But really, you would have to see these to believe them. This tall glass of water was ready to scratch someone’s eyes out.

So that was our trip to Target. And people wonder why I never leave the house. 😛

It bums me out that the majority of gay blogs I read have turned on Hillary Clinton in recent months. Polls that were done at the beginning of the year showed an overwhelming majority supported Hillary for President. I even conducted 2 polls of my own on this blog, one of them asking if people had to vote that day, who they would choose, and they chose Hillary.

I guess she lost people when she started being so fiercely competitive. I’ll admit, there was even a time when I was thinking about switching over to Barack myself.

But the thing that really bothers me is all the people who say she should give up. It feels completely unfair to say this because you’re basically saying people like me don’t count. We’re unimportant just because we support 2nd place.

I count too. The states Hillary has won count. She still wins, she still has supporters, so why quit now when she’s made it this far?

I just think it’s selfish, and it makes me angry. If Barack had 90% of the votes and Hillary had 10%, then yeah, it would probably be a good time to throw in the towel. But all in all, the race is still tight.

All the Hillary bashing only fuels my support for Hillary more. I think of all the times in my life people told me to give up:

– When I was 15, I started a website design business. People told me I was too young to be taken seriously and suggested I get a job at somewhere like McDonald’s like all the other kids my age. But I didn’t give up, and now I’ve been doing this for 11 years. Where would I be today if I listened to the people who said to quit?

– When I came out of the closet, people encouraged me to be discreet in order to lead a “normal” life. Even my own parents tried to convince me that the world would never support me. But I didn’t give up. I chose to live my life openly and honestly… and I truly feel that I do have a “normal” life.

When you want something with all your heart, you shouldn’t give up. Hillary has often said that she feels America is worth fighting for. And if she loves this country so much, why should she quit?

For all the Barack supporters out there, I applaud you. I am glad that you support a Democratic leader and I encourage you to continue supporting your candidate. But please think twice before you say Hillary should give up.

Saying this implies that she isn’t entitled to pursuing the American dream too. It implies that the underdog can never win. And we gay people certainly know what it feels like to be the underdog. But most of all, it implies my vote doesn’t matter and has no value.

Daddy Nathan

May 9, 2008 / Filed in Family, Gay / 4 Comments

The idea of having children is something that’s often on my mind, and as the years go by, I feel a heightened sense of urgency to get started. I’ve reached a point where many of our straight friends have babies, and they all ask the same question— “Do you and Rodney plan on having kids?” We tell them yes, and the goal remains by the time I’m 30 (I’m 26 now). Rodney will be 41, so we really feel something has to happen by then.

But I do have to admit that I’m crippled with fears and worries about the whole process. The first obstacle is that I want to have a biological child, which means I’ll need to find a woman who will carry the baby.

When you’re a lesbian, your options are endless. All you need is a sperm donor and you can handle the rest. But for us, we would basically be at the mercy of this woman for 9 months. I have this deep fear that she would change her mind and want to keep the child… On the flip side, you have to almost question a woman who doesn’t have a problem giving up a baby.

Then there is adoption. People always throw that out there. I might be open to it if we have a second child. In fact, I’ve wondered about adopting a child that is 5 or 6 so that we can theoretically turn back the hands of time to counter Rodney being in his 40’s when we get started. But I definitely want at least one biological child and I think that should be the first.

A whole other issue that worries me is the day to day stuff. Many people are afraid of settling down and the lifelong commitment to be a part of a child’s life. But that doesn’t bother me at all.

What I worry about are the little things. Spending 1 hour with my nieces and nephews exhausts me. There is no “off” button, no pause. They are sweet as can be, but they have to be entertained from sunrise until sunset. I can turn my head for a second and they get into trouble. They get into something they shouldn’t, or they fall off and get hurt. How does any human maintain the energy for that?

Well, I’m just venting my fears. As people always tell me, “It will all work out.”

I know the child(ren) will be loved, fed, and clothed, so that’s the first step. It’s all the minor details that overwhelm me.

Double Rainbow

May 8, 2008 / Filed in Life / 1 Comment

This double rainbow disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared, so I had to hurry to get this shot. Will you join me as I channel my inner Judy Garland and break into song?

About Nathan

I'm a happily married gay man, writing about my life as a new father and sharing our adventures with a side of snark.
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