Waxing Your Pubes: The Lost Post
I don’t know when I wrote this or why I didn’t publish it, because I personally think it’s hilarious. My best guess is that it’s from 2007…
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This is the story of how one bad mistake snowballed into another…
Last summer, I dropped my drawers over the toilet to do some manscaping around the ole sausage. I took my clippers and buzzed off a row, realizing I had forgotten the guard. Damn.
Without the guard, my hair was shaved right to the skin, which I hate. I don’t like the “infant” look, I just like a trimmed appearance. Well, the only way to make this look right was to shave it all off. So I did.
Fast forward to this week, when one of those shaved hairs had become a nasty ingrown hair, which was infected and very painful in my pubic area. I had been slacking off on the trimming, so it was a bit bushy and I didn’t immediately notice it.
In order to relieve the pain, I picked it open, releasing the pus and blood (I said “pus”, not “puss”). I tried to get it all cleaned up, but the blood was still spotting a little, and I was in a hurry.
Here’s where it gets stupid…
I grabbed a band-aid and placed it across the sore, attaching it firmly to my bushy pubes. As I did this and started to run off, I knew that removing it would probably hurt a little. But I figured I could just yank it off quickly and it wouldn’t be too bad. In fact, I thought it would be like my own homemade wax kit, so I actually looked forward to it since the hair needed a cut.
Fast forward to later this evening. I dropped my pants and started to pull on the band-aid, expecting my own personal wax job and a tolerable amount of pain. I knew I was going to do it quickly, so the pain would be short.
Oh, no… It wasn’t coming off. I tugged and tugged… the band-aid pulling hard enough to hurt, but apparently not hard enough to disconnect from the hair.
My wax job wasn’t sounding so good anymore. Pull, pull… burn, burn!
I finally got it off, complete with a patch of my pubic hair, right from the roots. It hurt a thousand times more than I expected, and refused to come off quickly, as planned. Forget wax jobs! I’ll stick to trimming. 
(Yes, I know, this was incredibly stupid…)
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Just when I feel down, I cruise to nathan exposed and I’m reminded that I need to shave my balls.
Thank the good Lord.
Oh, the tangled webs that we weave.
Something even worse is putting the nair for men down there. it burns for a while, then the hair starts to come back. yikes!