The Four Agreements to Life
Get your boots out, this shit is gonna get deep. 
A friend of mine was recently telling me about a book called The Four Agreements, and explaining the complex nature of the human mind. According to this way of thinking, our life is one continuous story. We are the narrator. Everyone else around us is a character in the sub-plot.
Everything that we learn is something that is absorbed. Right and wrong, good and bad. We all start out with a clean slate, and then the influences around us shape our way of thinking. They teach us to judge everything by their standards, and then we become clones of them, generation after generation.
Nothing is literal. My perception of reality is different than yours, and so we’re all floating in our own dream-like existence. If we’re fortunate, our stories will cross paths and you will become a sub-plot of my world, and I will become a part of yours.
The Four Agreements are a basic set of rules to achieving inner peace with the world around us. They mostly deal with the negative things, which bring us down in life. The agreements are as follows:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
These are all good points, but #2 and 3 are the ones that hit home with me.
I take a lot of things personally. I’m a very sensitive person, and over time, I’ve learned to embrace my sensitivity rather than trying to deny it. The world needs more sensitive people in it, not less.
Emotion is a natural thing. Only a robot wouldn’t take things personally. But still, I do see the wisdom in trying to drown out other people’s actions and only focusing on my own. I will never be responsible for what other people say or do, but I am responsible for how I respond to it.
The point about assumptions is also valid. So many silly wars have started, all because of mis-communication. Sometimes it’s really hard to ask questions and talk about things. But I do think that conversation is the path to peace. As long as we can talk, we can find common ground. It’s when we stop talking that we lose our power.
I logged onto eBay last night and picked up a copy of this book. The overview of it alone is inspiring to me, I can’t wait to read the full book. Apparently it’s been a bestseller for years. I don’t read many books, so that would explain why I didn’t know about it.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Ellen and Republicans
Despite the bad publicity Ellen received for the adopted puppy (which the media blew way out of proportion), this season of The Ellen Degeneres Show has been her best ever. After her career took a nosedive when she came out in 1997, she was more cautious about speaking her mind and in her talk show, she always seemed to tip toe around things.
This season, however, she’s been much more candid and blunt. I love it because it’s Ellen as her true self! In particular, she’s been more outspoken about politics and equal rights for the GLBT community.
Today’s guest was Barack Obama, and her opening monologue was about politics. To date, she has had three Democratic candidates on the show: Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Barack Obama. She said that to be fair, she had invited the Republican candidates too, but none of them responded.
She then went on to poke fun, saying she would give a free bucket of Halloween candy to the first Republican that calls her. She started naming all the candy that was in the bucket, and then stopped to say “But we took out the Mike n’ Ikes’s because we know Republicans don’t like that stuff.”
HAHAHA! I loved it! Her timing and delivery was perfect! I enjoy it that she can joke about politics without getting into mudslinging.
The clip isn’t on YouTube yet, but if it is, I’ll post it, because the real thing is much funnier.
Yard Sale Weirdness
On the first weekend of August, Rodney and I had a yard sale at our house. Our friend across the street also sold her stuff with us, so we had a wide variety of items. She handled the money, and she’s really good at it. Rodney helped her. I was mostly on smile patrol. I’m really good at flashing my teeth and saying “Good morning! How are you?”
It was a huge success. We live on a very busy street and apparently the first weekend of the month is the best time for a sale due to people getting their paychecks.
Anyway, we had some more stuff to sell and decided to schedule one for this fall. Due to schedules, this past weekend was the only time we could squeeze it in.
A little breathing room, please…
It started off rough. I was still in the shower when Rodney went down to open the garage door and bring the tables out to the driveway. People literally started swarming inside our garage before we could even bring the stuff out.
To add to the problem, it was very cold and windy that morning. All three of us were shaking in our chairs. But wait, it gets better.
During the summer sale, we had awesome customers. No problems, and very few hagglers. But this time, the freaks came out to play!
80′s Lady
Let’s start with the lady in her 80′s tracksuit. No kidding! We’re talking teal, purple, and some other crazy colors. She walked up with her daughter and spotted a set of bubbles for kids, never opened, and priced at $1. She studied the set for a good 5 minutes, and finally said “How much for these bubbles?”
They were our friend’s bubbles, so she responded, “I can go down to 50 cents. They’re not opened.”
80′s lady scratched her chin and thought about it. “Hmmm… I’ll give you 30 cents.”
“Sorry,” our friend responded, “They’re a whole set. 50 cents is as low as I’ll go.”
80′s lady stormed off! She was seriously upset about not getting them for 30 cents. Holy fuck, lady! You could have went to the grocery store and found that much money in the parking lot!
Jew You!
Next up was the “Jew You” lady. She seemed like a nice lady at first as she brought up some clothes and opened up her purse. Rodney told her the total and she handed over the money. We made eye contact and I smiled. For no apparent reason, she said “These are so nice, I won’t even Jew you about them.”
A stunned look crossed my face as she paid and walked away.
“Ummmm, did that lady just make a stereotypical insinuation about Jews?” I asked. Rodney and our friend nodded.
The Smokers
It’s common courtesy to not smoke at a yard sale. Not only do you risk dropping ash on items you haven’t paid for, but you also get your smell on the clothes. Plus, cigarette smoking is just annoying and invasive in public.
This really trashy, dirty looking man and woman strolled up our driveway, puffing away and blowing smoke on everything. They were too lazy to even flick the ashes, so they had foot long sticks of ash just hanging off the ends. Yuck.
I was going to just let it go, but then our friend covered her mouth and ran inside. Oops, I neglected to mention that our friend is pregnant and they were blowing smoke right towards her.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t smoke her. My friend is pregnant,” I said to them in a very friendly tone, thinking they would apologize and put the cigarettes out. Instead, they walked off, cigarettes still lit, and got back in their truck to leave.
The Check
One woman was 50 cents short, so she asked if she could write a personal check for it. Ummm, no.
So that’s it, in a nutshell. It was amazing how different this sale was compared to the one in August. We made very little profit, which we already expected since it was cold and the end of October. But what was with all the weird people?
Free Hugs
Sometimes a good hug is all we need. Find out more about the Free Hugs Campaign on their website.
Here’s a video of the campaign in action, offering free hugs to strangers:
Desktop Meme
This meme has been making the rounds and my friend T.J. recently posted it. You simply take a picture of your computer’s desktop and post it.
I specifically held out because I knew the newest version of Apple’s operating system, Leopard, was coming out today. At 8:30 this morning, the FedEx guy dropped mine off and I installed it immediately. It’s kind of fun because it doesn’t officially come out until tonight at 6PM, so I felt like one of the early birds. 
So this is my desktop. Yeah, I know the dock is a mess. This is my personal account. I have a work one that I keep separate, but it has personal info on it so I thought I’d share this instead.
Leopard is a pretty solid release, as I’d expect from Apple. I did have a panic attack when I first upgraded, because my whole system slowed down to a snail’s pace. I put it to sleep and went out for lunch, then came back and it’s just fine. Perhaps it needed a rest after the big changes it had endured.
It has a ton of gloss and drop shadows, which can be a bit rough on your average computer. They looked faster on Apple’s demo, which probably had a truckload of RAM installed.
But all in all, it’s fast and even more useful than Tiger was. It’s another homerun from Apple. And back to the point of this post, here’s my desktop.
Halloween Fear in Children
One Halloween, when I was a little boy, I remember walking up to a house that had a scarecrow sitting on a stack of hay. He looked like a natural part of the decorations, blending in with the spider webs, pumpkins, and such.
As I stepped up onto the porch, the Scarecrow jumped at me, instilling fear in poor little Nathan that I have never forgotten. I probably never will!
I am almost certain at least one of you has a similar story. It’s mean, it’s awful, it scars children for life. I was always afraid to go trick or treating after that night.
…Which is exactly why I must do it to young children now that I’m an adult.
Should I do it? Would it be evil? Wickedly cruel? I’m thinking about it. Just imagine being the mean man who brought fear to children the rest of their lives on Halloween.
There is a perfect corner on our porch… they’d never even see me until… BOO!
Thriller.
Putting all his negative traits aside, Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video is still a classic. I’d forgotten how much I love this. Damn, the 80′s were good.
Healthy as a whore
I went to the doctor today for a physical. He was a good doctor, and the first gay doctor I’ve ever been to. Everyone raves about him, but he isn’t taking any new patients. But I got a special referral, like an all-star in a private club.
I sent Rodney first. He was my test subject. So the first thing I asked Rodney was “Did he play with your balls and give you a prostate exam?”
“Nope.”
I was baffled. Every doctor I’ve ever went to has played with my balls and tried to give me a prostate exam. Unfortunately, I chicken out of the exam every time. Even though I’m in my 20′s, it wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and have it checked. I’m a bad patient, I know.
So today, it was my turn. I was wearing a new pair of underwear and was all fresh and clean, reading for my exam. Yes, sir. We went through all the regular exam stuff. I peed in a cup, he took my blood (I hate that part), and he even gave me an EKG since there is a long history of heart problems in my Dad’s family.
Everything was good, there was no detectable blockage to my heart, and then he got to the discussion about testicular cancer.
“Have you checked yourself lately?” he asked.
“No, I haven’t. I’m kind of afraid to, actually. Afraid of what I’ll find.” I said nervously.
“You do know that testicular cancer is the leading cancer among men your age, don’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I squeaked.
Okay, now it was coming. I was certain he was going to ask me to drop my drawers, even though he hadn’t asked Rodney. It was fine, I was prepared for it. Even if it’s a little uncomfortable, I knew it was the responsible thing to do.
“Okay,” he said, “here is a brochure on how to properly check yourself. I recommend you do it at least once a month.”
That’s all? No jangling, no poking? All that nervous energy for nothing?
I should have asked why he didn’t check them for me, but I didn’t have the balls to (heh). Are there some doctors who just don’t do that?
Oh, well. I guess if I gather up the nerve, I’ll check my own balls. If I feel anything suspicious, I can call him and specifically ask. As for the prostate, maybe I’ll get to put that off until I’m 40 afterall.
Oh, and I say “healthy as a whore” just for fun. I’m healthy as a horse.
Update: Rodney just told me doctors never check your balls until you’re 40. I wonder why all my past doctors have wanted to see mine? Hmmm….
Global Warming is Hot!
Forgive me for the pun in the title. I couldn’t resist.
In less than 3 days, my post on global warming has become the single most popular post on my blog ever written. Not only has it brought forth passionate views from all sides of the spectrum, but it’s also been featured on 2 prominent websites:
- Best Gay Blogs featured it as the Blog of the Day (thank you guys!)
- Skeptical Science featured it also, which is probably the first and only time I’ll have something to say that interests the science community (and I’m honored to be featured)
I’m glad that most of my readers are open minded enough to realize it’s a very complex topic that deserves to be seen from all angles, not just the popular ones.
Click here to read the original post that started the discussion.
Are We Causing Global Warming?
This is a very touchy subject for a lot of people, so the only thing I ask that you keep an open mind for this discussion.
Ask anyone about global warming and they’ll quickly agree that we have a problem. I remember a time when it snowed on Halloween in the 1980′s. Now there are days that I can wear shorts in December. Oh yes, dear readers, something is awry.
The most popular consensus is that humans are to blame for this warming. According to one poll, 86% of American believe we are the direct cause. Those are pretty high numbers, and I’m guessing the results would be the same no matter where you took the poll.
Just because something is popular, does that mean we should automatically believe it? There was a time when the popular consensus was that the Earth was flat. We all know that’s not true now, but once upon a time, you would have been laughed at if you suggested it were round.
Al Gore has become synonymous with global warming. Millions of people consider him to be almost God-like because of all the hard work he’s done. I admire Al Gore because he’s passionate and he cares about our planet. But the fact remains that he is human. He isn’t God, and even though he can prove the Earth is getting hotter, there are still questions as to whether humans are the cause.
If you look back in documented history, there have been unusual spells of warmth throughout it. Long before we had cars and pollutants, there were years in which the climate changed drastically. Who was causing it then?
Today, there are scientists who want to speak out and say that we are not the cause of global warming. They want to discuss it in a factual, diplomatic way. The problem is that nobody will listen. If they even try to explain, people immediately try to censor them.
Why? What is so wrong with just talking about it? It’s a big deal and I think we should examine all sides. But as humans, it is just easier to accept that we are the cause. That fits nicely into a box that we can understand, because everything must be rational. Well, the Earth isn’t rational. Just because we want an explanation that aligns with our thought process doesn’t mean it’s true.
So I just wanted to put it out there. Nobody denies there is global warming, but there are very educated scientists who do believe this is just part of a natural cycle. I think we should listen to all sides, rather than letting the media tell us what to believe.
