whatcha watchin’?
Well, the fall TV season is in full swing. I actually find myself watching TV MORE this year, which would make you assume that I am lazier. But in fact, I am healthier. I try to jog several nights a week with Petey, and I walk at least 3 times a day thanks to his bathroom breaks. But that is not the point.
So far, this is what I’m watching:
- Nip/Tuck (new one for me…love it)
- Survivor
- Desperate Housewives
- Two and a Half Men
- Ghost Whisperer (I hate it…but I can’t stop)
- The New Adventures of Old Christine
Hmmm… that list is shorter than I anticipated. I also would like to possibly start up on “Lost” and “The Amazing Race”.
What are you watching?
everybody gets the blues
This evening, Rodney and I were talking about the changes we had experienced in the past year. I guess we were both thinking the same things.
Last year, I had a big falling out with my brother and his wife over being gay. Their daughter (my niece) was finally becoming old enough to ask questions, and they panicked. They decided we were a bad influence on their daughter and son, so they have done a lot to cut us out of the picture.
My niece started pre-school last month, and I haven’t even taken the time to ask anyone in my family how that is going. I feel like a huge jerk for this.
I guess, in some ways, Rodney and I have given up the fight. We can’t force people to accept us… and I think it just does more damage. So we have backed off, and we just see the kids during holidays.
But something has changed… I don’t know what they have told my niece, but she doesn’t look at us the same. She won’t go near Rodney. She will give me a hug and say she loves me. But that sweet little face has changed. I can only imagine what her evil parents have said.
On some nights, like tonight, I feel very sad. I feel I have lost a brother, and lost his children too. Sure, there is a chance that someday they will all come around. I am pretty confident that his children will grow up to love us anyway.
Kids are so accepting these days. Each generation of society is more and more open to gay people. So I do believe I will have a relationship someday. But in the meantime, I am missing so much. I am missing their childhood, and there is little I can do about it.
I am free to see my niece and nephew any time I want, and so is Rodney. But it’s just not the same. It makes me sad, and makes me feel very empty sometimes. I am very disappointed in my brother, and only he can fix this.
thank you, Japan
Japanese Butt Sniffer
This video clip was featured on this weekend’s edition of “The Soup” on the E! network. It is so funny. On this game show, when the contestant answers too many questions incorrectly, he has to sniff another guy’s ass. Why don’t we have game shows like that? I think it’s hilarious to see the guy squirm.
Potty Training for Kids
This very bizarre cartoon teaches children how to use the toilet. The little turd with a smiley face is so funny! Again, why don’t they ever make cartoons this hilarious for kids in America?
amateur porn is so funny, part 4
It’s been awhile since I poked fun at any amateur porn. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but one of the specific websites that I made fun of has improved quite a bit with their porn. They use the same sets, but they have stopped letting people (and cat carriers) lounge lazily in the background of their pictures. You all know I’m here to make the world a better place, and that includes better porn.
This dandy little photo here really takes the cake. His name is Miguel, he’s 25, he likes sports… oh, and did I mention he’s straight?
Yeah, I think we already figured that out. I’m putting my breeder stereotypes to use here, and pointing out the disgusting, revolting shower. I think it would be a joke to say he’s getting “clean”, since he is standing in a pit of mildew, rust, soap scum, and who knows what else? This picture made me feel like cleaning every room in the house. Gross!
Miguel takes pride in the fact that he’s had sex with over 30 women. Yeah, well maybe if he spent a little more time cleaning his bathroom instead of boning chicks, he might be able to bathe in an environment that isn’t crawling with science experiments. Not sexy.
Wednesday Words: Still no “a” in “definitely”
On July 19, 2006, I published a historic post.
It was simply titled: There is definitely no “a”.
I thought this post would go down in history. I thought it would be featured on hundreds of news channels across the globe. I thought reporters would be pounding on my door to get the scoop on this hot news story.
Sadly, no one came. And only a small group of people actually took notice. Yes, my darlings, I am sad to report that thousands of people in the world have still not heard the good news. They still believe there is such a thing as the word DEFINATELY.
And they use it with such passion. I see it on blogs and forums across the land.
“Will you be coming over on Saturday night?”
“Oh yeah, DEFINITATELY!”
They type it with such joy and pride, and they often use ALL CAPS. They are so certain that there is such a thing. Yes, as sad as it sounds, they do believe there is a letter “a” in the word “definitely.”
So please… for the greater good of this nation… tell everyone you know. Don’t be shy, dear readers. Tell your family, your friends, your co-workers. Tell everyone you know.
There is no “a” in “definitely”.
Together, we can make the world a better smarter place.
big pussy
I like to believe that I am a strong, indomitable force. I face challenging people head-on. Afterall, I did beat up the school bully in 8th grade when he called me a faggott. 
I’ve stood my ground with the most intimidating people. I even got into a fight with this crazy L.A. cab driver, who Rodney thought was going to shoot me because I made him so angry.
So last night, I was walking along with Petey. It was a little after 11, the neighborhood was pretty quiet. As we were walking, I was stopped in my tracks by this hideous beast.
I don’t know what it was, but it was standing in the street. A faint glow off the streetlight cast an outline around it. I moved a bit closer to get a better look. This is the part where most animals scurry away at the sight of a human and his dog.
Nope, not this beast. It perked up to look more intimidating. I could see its ears standing up, and it held up its claws.
What the hell was I looking at? Where did it come from? It started to move towards us, instead of running away.
OH SHIT! I quickly turned around and marched right back home! I didn’t want to run because I’ve heard that will make some animals chase you. So I just walked very quickly. I looked back and the little beast was still moving closer.
Ohhhhh noooooooo. I am wearing flip flops, a t shirt, and some pajama shorts. I am not equipped for this shit. Finally, we made it down the street and into the house.
You won, little beast. You scared the hell out of me and I was a big pussy!
what would make you happier?
Keeping a list of goals, and joys, and generally positive things can always be unbelievably powerful, even if it all starts with something very small and simple.
My buddy Michael recently listed some of his joys. He got the idea from Marc of Voyeur Nation. I think it’s great that Michael rekindled Marc’s idea. And during this season of Ellen, she is encouraging people to create a Life List – things they would like do achieve someday, no matter how big or small.
These things are all different, but they all seem related to me. They are about making yourself happier, reminding yourself what makes you happy, and working towards things in the future that will make you happy.
I am not so good at lists. That is why I’m asking one simple question –
What is one thing that would make you happier?
Would anyone like to share their one thing? It can be as realistic or unrealistic as you want. Maybe someone else here can even make it come true for you. Leave a comment if you know what one thing would be.
Oh… and what’s my one thing? Well hmmm… I guess a real hug from one of my long distance friends would make me happier. 
Negative influences on women
Tonight I saw a commercial that really made me feel sad for women. It was for Lean Cuisine. Three women are at work, during their lunch hour. Two of them are chatting about food, and they seem pretty sad because they don’t really plan to eat anything. One makes a remark about getting a bagel (Fact: Bagels are very fattening so that would be a bad choice) and then they hear a woman in the next cubicle eating some amazing type of pizza. What is it? It’s a Lean Cuisine pizza. The ladies stare in amazement. How can she eat something? At the end, one of them jokes about eating her keyboard… is she starving herself that badly?
You get the point. Lean Cuisine has this whole ad campaign of starving women, and then one woman swoops in to save the day with her spectacular, low-fat food. But none of these women really seem to have a weight problem. So why are they torturing themselves?
I could really go on for hours, but I’ll skip to the points:
1.) Study after study shows that dieting is the worst way to lose weight. Most people gain the weight back within a few months. Starvation is the worst way. It puts your body into survival mode, and you might actually gain more weight because your metabolism slows down.
2.) Lean Cuisine is NOT healthy and it makes me angry that they claim to be. Their food is LOADED with sodium… which is a member of the salt family. Salt is fattening, so is sugar. Both salt and sugar clog your arteries and can lead to heart problems later in your life. You may only be eating 350 calories, but you also may be eating 850 mg of sodium in the same meal.
3.) And finally… it disgusts me that women (and men) are expected to live this way. Healthy meals, in smaller portions throughout the day, combined with regular exercise are proven to be the BEST ways to maintain your weight.
It is not about changing your diet, it is about changing your lifestyle. Shame on you, Lean Cuisine. I don’t think anyone deserves to starve.
oh, pee wee
Who doesn’t love Pee Wee Herman? He is one of my favorite icons of the 80′s, and Nike is releasing Pee Wee Herman shoes in 2007. They are grey and red, just like his suit, and the inside soles have a cartoon of him sitting in a movie theatre! I love it!
Source: Nice Kicks
blackjack saturday
It’s 10 PM on a Saturday night, and what am I doing? Playing Blackjack on Yahoo! Games. Everyday is a thrill ride in Nathan’s world, but please do envy me, guys.
The urge to play cards hit me earlier in the evening. Rodney was tired, and didn’t feel like playing. In his defense, he did work today, and he’s working tomorrow too. But it would be so much fun. We have decks of cards with naked men and hot gay couples, courtesty of AdamMale. We haven’t used them yet either.
I rarely play card games… because I always lose. It is also the worst test of my A.D.D.
Anyway, since Rodney wasn’t in, I went over to Yahoo! to play games. Their rooms are always filled with a nice variety of snotty little teenagers and creepy elders. Who could ask for anything more?
The first two rooms I entered kicked me out. Yes, kicked me out! Bitches. I joined another random room, where I just happened to be confronted with the asshole who booted me. I played the game, kicked his ass 7 times, and then left. Take that.
Next up, I played this fierce older lady. I’m not making assumptions, her avatar had white hair. You do the math. She was good. Whoops, there went the A.D.D. Losing is boring.
I left the room, and that should take care of my card playing urges for another 2 years or so.
Hey, if Yahoo! started offering cards with naked men on them, maybe I’d go more often.
