what makes a pessimist?
I really don’t like the label, but I guess I am a pessimist. There is specific formula that I use when making a decision, and it usually revolves around negativity.
For example, let’s say I meet a person. I start out disliking them and secretly judging them. I pick them apart in my head. With a little time, they earn my trust and I begin to like them. From there, things can take a very positive turn and I end up being an optimist. If I catch a bad feeling, however, there is usually not a chance for things to improve. I consider you an enemy and I will try to avoid you or even tell you to “get lost.”
I’ve been lied to a lot, I’ve been hurt a lot, and now it is very difficult for me to believe people have good intentions. More often than not, people eventually disappoint me. Even the ones I really like.
The sad part is that I’m usually correct. If I think a person is bad news, sure enough they prove it. But why does that happen?
So is being a pessimist something we are born as or is it a learned trait?
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We are so opposite boo. I am the eternal optimist. I am forever holding out that some event will work itself out or some person will change for good.
Hmmm… not sure about that. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, and stabbed in the back, but still I give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t really think it’s pessimism as much as a lack of being able to trust someone. It sounds like you view someone you have just met as an enemy who has to prove their worth, which is fine, but it also sets up a bad precendent for you to broaden your group of friends. And instant distrust weeds out people – whether they’re good or bad and so might wipe out potential friends without giving them a chance. In the same token, the quicker you get rid of toxic people, the better.
I generally start out liking you, then as time goes on the judging has started and your points start dwindling if you lie, cheat, or steal.
I’ve always thought of myself as a realist. It is what it is. Period.
When I meet someone, I accept them for what they say they are, and move on.
Of course, the first time I catch them in a lie, I write them off forever.
I think when it comes to people, you’re just going with your first impression. I do, and first impressions, whatever they are, are ususally right on. (At least for me.)
I’m so painfully aware of my own flaws I tend to give people a lot of slack. I think part of that comes from my religious background. “Judge not, etc…”
I guess I’m an optimist. Do you really have people lying to you a lot? Hummm, that’s lousy. I don’t think that’s happened much to me. Not that I can remember at least.
Hey bro
Prety much on the same page here. Your question sparked a discussion between my partner and I that was really interesting. He thinks that there is some inborn pessimism inherent in different zodiac signs and that surroundings magnify and/or exacerbate those tendencies. Not sure if I completely believe that, but it is an interesting theory. Mainly, I wanted to comment on the “first impression” comment…..I think to some degree, we are all bound by our first impressions of someone. That said, I found a book that you might find interesting about that same topic. It is called “Blink” by Malcom Gladwell (amazon link if you wanna check it out: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316010669/sr=8-2/qid=1151777494/ref=pd_bbs_2/104-0147858-8158307?ie=UTF8 ) I think that you might find it interesting 
That’s a really interesting point, and I do agree with your partner actually.
In astrology, I am a Scorpio, which is a negative sign. So people born under a negative sign are more prone to exhibit negative tendencies. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t capable of being optimistic, it just means we are more likely to lean towards negativity.
But really that’s only one part of it, I guess. The way we are raised and the environment we’re in is obviously a big factor too. And I think to some extent, it is just a part of our personalities. Some people are happier than others, no matter what.
Thanks for the link to the book, I’ll check that out.