I don’t care about celebrity babies
Am I the only one who is sick of this ridiculous obsession with celebrity babies? Now that Tomkat’s baby has been born, Brangelina are the new hot item. OMFG! They had a baby in Africa. Wow!
What’s even more sad is that we all knew exactly who I meant when I said Tomkat and Brangelina. Bleh.
I just don’t get it. Yes, babies are cute. I love babies. But people flock to see the first glimpse of these children as if they are the second coming of Christ. No matter how adorable they are, I’m pretty sure they look like every other baby.
If I’d just become a parent, I wouldn’t want a bunch of people lurking outside my window. Just because you pay to see their movies does not mean you own a piece of their soul.
Can I get an AMEN please?
living forever and dying alone
We spent a nice long weekend visiting family in Illinois. Included in our visit was Rodney’s grandmother, who is in the hospital.
Let me preface by saying she’s 90 years-old, and shockingly alert and independent for her age. She had a few minor health problems, which are being worked out. Nothing to worry about there.
While visiting, my head was filled with questions about life. I hope Rodney and I make it to 90. Actually, I have often said I want to live forever. The thought of growing older and eventually dying terrifies me. I have not found peace with the concept.
On a more negative note, I often fear that I will die alone. I have surrounded myself with people who are older than I am, because I really relate to them better. Even Rodney is 11 years older than I am. And that’s all well and fine, but I know that statistically, I really probably will die alone.
Having said that, life is not worth living if it’s lived in fear. I do my best to be optimistic. When I am faced with situations like a 90 year old person, however, I can’t help thinking about life in the long run.
Let’s start a pissing movement…
Earlier this year, I learned that a lot of gay men sit down to pee. WH-WH-WHAT?! I laughed and thought that was just the girliest thing. But now I realize I was wrong.
Rodney usually cleans the bathrooms, so I’ve never had to endure the disgusting task of cleaning around the toilet. But a month ago, I noticed the bathroom smelled like piss. Yuck. I immediately got to work and cleaned the entire floor and toilet.
Then, in passing, I said to Rodney “You know, the bathroom was disgusting. You really need to be more careful about pissing all over the floor and toilet.”
Rodney quickly corrected me. “Excuse me, I sit down and pee. If there is piss all over the floor and toilet, it’s because you can’t aim!”
REVELATION!
Oh my God, I am a filthy pisser who splatters! I learned my lesson. A few weeks ago, I gave up my dirty habit and started sitting down to pee. The bathroom has never looked (or smelled) better! Now I know how lesbians feel 
I do still stand up in public restrooms. I hate public toilets, and avoid sitting on them at all costs. But at home, I am a very clean pisser.
I recently manscaped, I wipe when I pee, and now I sit down at home. Yes, I sound like a total girl. But I do believe I have one of the cleanest penises in the universe! So gentlemen, think about that next time you go to the bathroom.
And if you think this idea is stupid, you’re obviously not the one who cleans the toilets in your house…
Billy’s Dad Is a Fudgepacker
I saw this hilarious short film on Logo last night, and loved it! This is a clever, and well directed parody of the 1950′s lifestyle, filled with sexual innuendo. Robert Gant, who played Ben on Queer As Folk plays the father, who works as a fudge-packer.
through the years
I love the month of May. It is my favorite month of the year. For some reason, it is always fun, interesting, or life changing.
9 years ago – I was 15 and I had just gotten internet access at home. Up until then, my gay feelings remained in the closet and I didn’t have an outlet. But the internet gave me the freedom to explore. I remember going online and searching for “gay”. I stumbled upon a website of gay porn. The very sexual photo I ever saw of 2 men was a guy sucking on this monster cock. It was taken from an awesome angle, and I went back to look at it everyday.
I also discovered the wonder of chatrooms. That’s where I met my first internet “boyfriend”. One of the hot songs at the time was “I Want You” by Savage Garden, and this guy’s chat handle was “SavageFan”. I wanted to savage this guy’s garden, if you know what I mean 
He had a nude photo of himself, and I thought he was the hottest thing. My chat handle, by the way, was SweetDreams15. HA! I know, that’s hilarious now. But at the time, I received a lot of private messages, that’s for sure.
5 years ago – I still lived in Illinois, and Rodney and I were 2 months into our relationship. It was still the honeymoon period, and we were still adjusting to each other’s personality. We were some fiery queens, you know. Imagine all the attitude of Whitney Houston and multiply it by two. That was us. I guess we’ve mellowed out a lot. But there’s nothing better than young love in the spring.
3 years ago – I was preparing for college graduation, with a GPA of 4.0, and I was very proud of my accomplishments. It was a really good time. I actually skipped college when I graduated high school. I went right into working as a graphic designer. But I’m glad I finally decided to go to college, because it was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
1 year ago – I had a job lined up in Nashville and we were making our plans to move. I’ve changed so much in such a short amount of time. Thanks to blogging, and the extremely open atmosphere I work in, I’m finally able to be myself.
advice about websites, please.
I’d like your feedback on e-commerce sites. Most of you probably shop online, and I’m sure you have your favorites.
What is the number one thing that you see on a homepage that draws you in? What features make you feel safe and secure that it’s a reputable website? And what are some of your favorite websites for shopping online?
I’m asking this simply because I’m a designer and I like doing research sometimes. Most of you are internet savvy people, and I value your opinions. Don’t worry, I’m not opening up an online store for dildos *sarcasm*. I’d just like to know what’s popular and what you like in today’s online market.
Thanks 
annoying neighbors.
I think it’s a universal rule. Every neighborhood is required to have one family that pretty much lives outside.
I’m talking about the people who pay for a house, and literally stand around in their driveway or front porch all day and night, just socializing.
There’s nothing really *wrong* with doing this. Obviously there is no law against it. I guess it’s just one of those little things that irritates me.
Lucky for me, these neighbors live behind us. Yay! Whenever I go outside, or even look outside, it seems they are there. Can I have a little privacy, please?
When the windows are open, there is a constant stream of chatter that becomes the soundtrack in my head. They aren’t loud or obnoxious, it’s just a never-ending flow of small talk. And it’s just subtle enough to drive me crazy…like the tick tock of a clock.
This isn’t really a rant. It’s merely a note because you all know exactly what family I’m talking about. And if you don’t…well, you probably are that family
a summer without “housewives”
Last night was the season finale of “Desperate Housewives”. A lot has changed since my post in November, which complained about how boring it had become.
You know, my relationship with the show is just like any other relationship. The first season was the honeymoon period. I loved everything about it, and it could do no wrong in my eyes. I anticipated each episode.
The second season was the period where the relationship sets in. You see each other all the time, and become a bit bored. You start thinking about seeing other shows instead, but you’re already emotionally invested and you hate to break it off.
But actually the second season really turned out well. Bree went off the deep end. She was like the Whitney Houston of Wisteria Lane. It was a trainwreck, and I loved it.
And Gabrielle became the surprise mother-figure. Kudos to Eva Longoria for the heart wrenching performance she gave when her adopted baby was taken away. That scene actually made me tear up. She was so good.
I could go on about all the characters, but you get the point. My only complaint is the dialogue when Gabrielle found out Carlos was cheating. Her character responded with simple sarcasm, and a flaky attempt to make the situation humurous (the old “throwing-clothes-on-the-lawn” trick).
After all her growth, I think the Gabrielle character would be heartbroken. She had become a monogamous wife, with a passion to have a family. Her plans were shattered and she was so calm about it.
So that’s my 2 cents on Desperate Housewives. Now that it’s ended on such a high note, I dread the whole summer without it! Rodney and I are looking forward to season 3.
Goodbye Will & Grace
It’s the end of an era. The series finale of “Will & Grace” was last night. At first, it might not seem like a big deal. But let’s think about how much it has helped change television for the gay community.
I remember the time period as if it were yesterday. Ellen Degeneres had recently come out on her show, which created a heavy amount of controversy. I’ll never forget the “viewer discretion is advised” warning that played right before. It was so offensive to me. Two women kiss, what’s the big deal?
From there, Ellen’s show took a quick nose dive to cancellation. Hot off the heels of the controversy came “Will & Grace”. It was the first show to start out with a completely open gay dialogue. We’re not talking about the swishy neighbor next door who made an occasional appearance to throw out catty remarks. This show was full-on gay, with no apologies.
Best of all, it was really funny and original. And heterosexuals liked it too. The show became a hit, and comined with Ellen’s groundbreaking history, it finally became “okay to be gay” on television. I truly believe that the combination of these two sitcoms paved the way for television today.
There were some people in the gay community that said they stopped watching “Will & Grace” years ago. That’s fine. The show was on for 8 years. It’s really hard to keep up sometimes. I can’t say that I’ve seen every episode either. But that’s just the point…it stayed for 8 years, which is a long time for a sitcom.
So now that’s it over, I am left wondering what’s left for gay television? There are not any shows in primetime that have a primary focus on gay people. We need gay role models on television, especially for gay people who are struggling for some inspiration.
Ellen’s coming out in 1997 had a direct influence on my choice to come out in 1997. I could not have done it without her influence. Gay people need role models. They need a voice for their community to come into people’s living rooms every week and be seen.
Rest assured, I bet there are at least a dozen gay themed shows in the works right now, hoping to fill the shoes of “Will & Grace”. I sure hope one of them can do it.
Thanks for 8 years of changing television history.
Click here to watch the finale online. (NBC is offering it for free, one week only.)
bloody hell.
This is a really gross post.
I know I am going to regret writing it. But this is my uncensored blog, so I should say whatever I feel. And right now, I feel pretty miserable.
Last month, I bitched about my urinary tract infection. I wasn’t drinking enough fluids, so I got an infection, which caused my penis to burn painfully all the time. I think it was one of the worst pains a male could ever feel.
I took some medicine that the doctor prescribed, and it cleared up in 2 weeks. That’s when the fun really began.
For some reason, that infection has completely fucked up my body. As soon as my penis got better, my ass started having problems. I started bleeding out of my ass when I went to the bathroom. Yep, I said it.
What a horrible feeling. I can’t even describe the horror of ass bleeding. The toilet looked like it was painted red.
I went to the doctor again, and this lady lubed up her finger and examined my ass. Talk about feeling awkward. She had me start taking a stool softener.
Well, it did work. The bleeding stopped. But the bottle of stool softener promises “reliable, predictable results”. Whatever, bitch! I get absolutely no warning at all. All of a sudden, “the urge” hits me and I have to find the nearest toilet.
This really sucks. If it isn’t a burning penis, it’s a bleeding ass. If it isn’t a bleeding ass, it’s a surprise bowel movement. Life sucks sometimes.
And please no sly remarks…it really hurts.
