A Spanish version of our National Anthem was released by British music producer Adam Kidron. In retaliation, George W. responded with this fucked up remark:
“I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English.”
First of all, Mr. President, maybe YOU should learn English! I don’t think using the word “ought” is proper English. Further more, how dare you say that people “ought to learn English” if they want to be a citizen in this country!
Are we that prejudiced? Do we now require our citizens to fully speak the English language? There are thousands of U.S. citizens who speak foreign languages. Does that mean they don’t deserve to be in America?
Yesterday I posted a story about a Hispanic boy in Texas who was beaten and raped with a metal pipe. If our own President is making statements like this, just think of the example he’s setting for Americans. He’s saying it’s okay to talk down to our Spanish speaking community, and that kind of behavior spawns hate crimes like the one that happened recently.
Fuck you with a big metal pipe, Bush.
Has anyone heard about this hate crime in Texas?
A hispanic boy allegedly tried to kiss a white girl at a party. As a result, 2 white guys beat the hispanic boy, raped him with a metal pipe, poured bleach over him, and left him to do die.
The victim was discovered 12 hours later and is now in critical condition. Unfortunately, it is believed he will die because of the internal injuries. But I do pray that he survives, because it’s a sad way to go.
And if he does survive, can you even imagine the life he is going to live? He will be so terrified of white people. He will never be the same.
WHY THE FUCK do white people think they have the right to do this?! Can you even imagine the suffering he went through? Why kind of fuckhead would stick a metal pipe up someone’s rectum and then pour bleach on him?
This cruelty makes me so sad.
The jerks who committed the crime have been arrested and they are identified as Keith Robert Turner, 17, and David Henry Tuck, 18. I hope they get what’s coming to them.
Welcome to the Nathan 101 class! Thanks to everyone who took the “How Well Do You Know Me” quiz! It was fun reading people’s answers. One person got a perfect score…and since the queen didn’t publish his name, I’ll keep his identity secret.
1) What is Nathan’s favorite movie?
The majority of you thought it was Glitter. Although Mariah Carey is my favorite singer, my favorite movie is Alfred Hitchock’s classic Psycho.
2) What is Nathan’s current job?
Most of you got this one correct. The answer is Graphic Designer. Yep, it’s been my profession for 9 years now. I love it.
3) How old is Nathan?
I knew this would throw people off. I rarely talk about my age, and actually most people think I am older. The majority of you guessed 28. But actually I’m 24. That’s okay…some days I act 50.
4) What state did Nathan grow up in?
Most of you thought North Carolina and Tennessee. I lived in Illinois for the first 19 years of my life. My partner Rodney and I moved to North Carolina for 3 years, and then moved to Tennessee last year to be closer to our family in Illinois.
5) What religion does Nathan consider himself?
Wow! I didn’t know my religious beliefs were so unknown. A lot of people guessed Atheist. No, I’m quite the opposite. I was raised Catholic and still believe in some of the teachings of the church. Deep down, I’m a very conservative person. I believe very strongly in God, and have carried a Rosary in my pocket for about 14 years now. It was sent to me by Mother Teresa and I consider it my protection from harm.
6) What is Nathan’s least favorite month?
January, for sure. It’s the longest, coldest month and filled with cloudy days. I suppose it would be very different if I lived on the West Coast or in another country, like Australia, where January is hot.
7) What did Nathan consider the worst gift ever?
HA! I loved this one. Most of you thought it was a certificate claiming a star had been named in my honor. Has anybody heard of that scam? Well, that’s never happened to me. But I did receive a homemade thong last Christmas from Rodney’s sister-in-law. Actually, she made matching thongs, one for each of us. Bleh!
8) What did Nathan once call the “rebirth of bad internet trends”?
Embedded WMV files that auto-play. A lot of the blogs I visited used to have them set and they would automatically start blaring some annoying music video or song when I visited the blog. Sometimes they were buried so deep, I couldn’t find them to turn them off. I wrote a detailed rant about it, and many readers agreed with me. In a matter of days, the WMV videos disappeared from a lot of blogs. I believe I helped make the blog world a better place.
9) What did Nathan dress as for the Ellen Degeneres Halloween show?
A pimp, baby! Rodney was dressed as Elton John and I was dressed as a pimp. We had so much fun at the show last year!
10) How many pets do Nathan and Rodney have?
3 pets. A lot of you didn’t know this. We have 2 cats, Purr Purr and Prissy, and 1 dog, Petey. They are really sweet animals. Sometimes cats are big snobs, but I think we really picked them well. All 3 of our pets are very loving.
Lately there seems to be an increase in crazy ass drivers around Nashville. Although drivers are crazy everyday, I’ve noticed a definite increase in the past week. Have high gas prices made people crazy?
On a daily basis, I get rudely cut off by some asshole. They just come on over into my lane, abruptly making me slam on my breaks…no turn signal, no warnings, nothing.
What exactly is going through someone’s mind when they decide to jump in front of moving traffic without any turn signal? Why would you purposely want to make someone slam on their brakes and risk getting your car smashed to pieces? I don’t get it.
Last Friday, this old man actually came into my lane on my right side. We were sharing a lane and he tried to run me off into the grass! WTF?! Of all things, he had the nerve to honk at me as he was running me off the road…. Like I had done something wrong. He got in front of me and then puttered along. I tailgaited him, laying on my horn and flipping him off. I did this for awhile, and he looked terrified. Finally I got into the next lane and just stared at him. He looked like he was about to cry.
I don’t mean to be so hateful, but I don’t understand why people have to be such assholes. The worst thing is when they cut you off and then speed along, only to end up right next to you at a red light. Again, WTF? After cutting me off and speeding away, they haven’t gotten any further. We’re still side by side at a light.
DON’T BE A RUDE DRIVER. It doesn’t pay off, it puts you in danger of having a serious wreck, and you rarely get any further along on the road. And if you fuck with someone like me, I will follow you 😉
We had spent 2 exhausting days touring homes all over Nashville and its suburbs. We had fallen in love with a house in Hermitage, and felt it was the one. But we still had one more day of touring ahead of us, and were working to keep an open mind.
Sunday – LaVergne, Smyrna, and Murfreesboro
LaVergne was first. Holy hell, what is this place? This town has absolutely nothing. I’m not exaggerating. There isn’t shit to do there. It’s an industrial town with like one Food Lion. That’s it.
Okay, I’m sorry. Maybe one of my readers is from there and likes it. Let’s just say it wasn’t right for me.
The first house was taken right out of a horror film. I cannot even describe the awful feeling we got when we walked in it. Something very bad happened there. In context, the house was a good size, well maintained, and all that. But something made our hairs stand up on our necks. Even our Realtors admitted feeling strange.
They left all their furniture behind. But it was obvious nobody lived there. The heat was turned off, the clocks had stopped in the kitchen. There was a collage on the bedroom wall of this man named Nathan. Can you believe that? Nathan. One the photos was a “sexy” one. I giggled a little.
His wife, I forget her name, also had her name on some marriage plaque. But there were no photos of her. Come to think of it, all the photos of her were missing. Weird.
We went on to another house in LaVergne, which Rodney LOVED. I failed to take any pictures of it, which really annoyed him. Oops, sorry.
I realize wallpaper is cosmetic, and can be removed. But we all had a very hard time overlooking it. I’m not kidding, it was a lot of work. And a lot of flowers.
Our final stop was in Murfreesboro. Of all the towns outside Nashville, this was the furthest away. Most of my friends from work live in this town.
My first impression of Murfreesboro was negative. A lot of the homes we toured were in a specific area, which I call “cookie cutter”. I hate cookie cutter neighborhoods with a passion.
You know the type. All of the houses look exactly the same. All the roads are completely flat and boring. There is no architecture or history. There are no large trees. Everything has just been planted in the ground.
I love neighborhoods with a history. I love large, beautiful trees, especially in the spring. Cookie cutter neighborhoods like this piss me off.
I was ready to call it a day. Rodney loved a house in LaVergne (the one I took zero pictures of) and I loved the house in Hermitage (which I had 20 pictures of). We had a decision to make, and needed time to think.
Right before we left, our Realtors introduced us to a popular builder in Murfreesboro. “Hey, there is this one house for sale,” the builder told us.
“Okay,” I said impatiently. “Let’s have a look”…
I borrowed this idea from Eddy. This 10 question quiz lets me know just how well you know me. Every question comes straight from my blog, so there are no trick questions. Play along and let me know how you did.
I’m skipping ahead because I like to share photos and discuss. I actually have a lot more to say about our experience getting a loan and finding the right Realtor. But I’ll fill you in on that later.
Our fantastic real estate team was a husband and wife duo. They set us up with a 3 day househunt which covered over 30 houses within Nashville and the suburbs. It was incredible, overwhelming, and exciting.
Friday – Spring Hill
Williamson County is the place to be around Nashville. It’s outside the city, very safe, and very clean. Spring Hill is located in Williamson County, 30 miles from Nashville.
The first thing I noticed was the silence. Not a sound for miles. All you could hear were the birds chirping. I loved that about Spring Hill. The air smelled so different. Actually, Spring Hill was farm land just a few years ago. It’s recently become a hot spot because of the population growth.
But after a few hours of touring, the panic hit me. I realized we were really far out from any major hospitals, gas stations, and stores. I have this weird fear where I always have to know civilization is nearby. When I get too far out in the country, I freak out and worry that I’ll run out of gas, or somebody will get hurt and there won’t be any help. Weird, I know.
In the end, Spring Hill was just too far out. I loved the peacefulness at first, but eventually got annoyed at the winding 2 lane country roads.
Saturday – Nashville, Hermitage, and Old Hickory
We started in Nashville. We found this one really nice house with an extensive amount of landscaping. The photo is on the right, but doesn’t really do it justice. You have to see this place to believe how much work they’ve put into it. There were a couple of red flags, but nothing too bad.
After Nashville, we traveled on to Old Hickory. WTF is this place? I was not a big fan at all. “Old” is the key word. Sorry, this town just didn’t do it for me. We did tour a very nice home that stood out. But I was grossed out by the vacant turd in the toilet. (YES, I check toilets. I check everything.) Anyhoo, Old Hickory was just too far out and something about the town bothered me.
We also visited Hermitage. You know, we actually kind of liked Hermitage. It had easy access to the interstate, and did show signs of growth on the main roads. Not bad.
That’s where I absolutely fell in love with this house pictured on the right. It’s very hard to describe why I loved it. There were a lot of things wrong with it, actually. It was built in the 80’s and the appliances were extremely outdated. All those would have to be replaced when we moved in, which would be expensive. The bathrooms had not been updated either, and they needed a good renovation. Again, very expensive. And finally, the yard was small. There wasn’t much room for growth.
Fine, those are the negatives. But something about it felt right. It was an established house, and established neighborhood. The interstate was nearby, and it was very easy to get to major locations from there. The inside was actually rather spacious. It had some beautiful architecture inside. This was a “real” home.
Rodney and I discussed it heavily. After some thinking, the house grew on him too. We were so excited because we thought we’d found the one…
It’s amazing to look back and see how much Petey has grown in 6 months. I don’t know where the time went, but he’s all grown up now.
Brings a little tear to my eye. 🙁
Well, Ace is gone from American Idol now. He was awfully pretty, but it was time to go.
I always feel bad on Thursday’s. You know it’s a sad and disappointing day for these people. Sure, they’ll go on to bigger and better things. But still, I hate to see anyone’s dreams not come true.
So whenever I need a good laugh, I just whip out this photo of Simon Cowell’s speedo bulge. *tee hee* Gets me every time.
“Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?”
By Bruce Heffernan
Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything – I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.
Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man’s man, tooâ€”big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn’t seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.
Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don’t recall the phrase, “Suck my cock” entering the conversation, and I don’t have a sign around my neck that reads, “Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock.”
I’ve got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, I’ve got a real problem.
Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he’s sucking my cock!
What is it with these homos? Can’t they control their sexual urges? Aren’t there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?
Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who’ve come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?
I’ve tried all sorts of things, but it’s all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn’t work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, chest, and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?
I swear, if these homosexuals don’t take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I’m going to have to resort to drastic measuresâ€”like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can’t get much more direct than that.
Published: July 6, 2005 at The Onion