That’s not convenient…
A few years ago, I bought some of those Campbells Soup-at-Hand. You remember the commercials. Business people in their nice clothes, working at the computer while sipping their soup. It looked very clean, and tidy, right?
Wrong. To my horror, these things were a mess. I distinctly remember the first time I opened one at work. When I pulled off the lid (very gently) it splattered all over my shirt and hands. Then, while in the microwave, it bubbled over and made a mess on the tray. Bitches.
I was so annoyed that I personally e-mailed Campbells and told them how much bullshit their ad campaign was, and proceeded to tell them I needed a bib to eat their damn soups at work.
Their reply: “We are sorry you are having difficulty eating our soups, but we stand behind our products and their quality.”
WTF? Not only did they treat me like an idiot, they absolutely refused to believe that anything was wrong with their product!
Fast forward to Jan. 31, 2006. I decided to give them another chance. I won’t buy their “Soup-on-Your-Hands” anymore, but I was willing to try out their 15 oz. disposable bowls.
I walked into the break room with confidence, and slowly opened the top. BAM! Tomato soup splattered my sleeve and floor.
Campbells Soup is a bunch of bitches. You have stained my super-gay purple shirt that I just had dry-cleaned. That is a crime against humanity.
Fuck you. My dry cleaning bill is in the mail. And I’m also sending you my therapy bill, as I’m sure I’ll need it after writing this.
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I’ve started eating the same soup in a microwavable…thing…at work, and discovered this same bullshit! But in my desperation to have something easy to fix that I could eat at my desk, I learned to pull the tab off over the sink, and as far away as possible from my protruding breastesses (which have been splattered before), and pull the top off backwards. I know, bullshit, but I need my soup!
This is inexcusable. I would like to add my next complaint – when I fly from NM (7,000 ft) to lower altitudes, my hair gel ALWAYS explodes when I open it. All over me. And I’m NOT hairy. They need to develop an altitude-proof hair gel container!
Pizza soup!? Okay I’m sorry but if that shit splatters all over you get what you deserve. Pizza soup…
Sara – Sorry, what did you say? I was distracted by the breastesses.
Dan – I’ve never had that happen. What kind of gel are you using hon?
Adam – Don’t knock it until you try it. If you could put the yummy taste of pizza in a can, this would be the shizzle fo sure.
Same thing with me with the same soup! I’ve found if you hold the container on the counter with one hand and *gently* pull the tab, the mess you make isn’t *that* bad. Bastards.
I’m still stuck on Pizza soup too. Hmmmm…
And, hey, I got my AdamMale catalogue yesterday… My assistant opened up the envelope, saw all the naked guys, and passed it to me. But what made me suspicious of his preference is that he got to Page 8 before he handed it to me. Hmmmmm?
hm.. I had a coworker who used to drink it and it would dribble over here and onto her shirt.. the handheld soup apparently suffers from many pitfalls.
Could it be the user, rather than the product?
*run for cover*
Yeah I was going to say perhaps its the consumer rather than the soup!
But Eddie said it first… so there 
Funniest post I’ve read in ages!!
xK
Oh no – I like the Campbell’s Select soups, and that stupid aluminum pop-top is the same deal. The soup is filled right to the top, so you pull the tab, and when it snaps off at the back – it’s like a freakin’ tsoupnami. Beh.