Reader’s Choice #2: Honesty [Updated]
I enjoyed this segment so much that I’m doing another one.
JJD asked: “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.. and yet, the truth will set you free. How do you reconcile these two opposing adages in your own life?”
Great question. I generally prefer to not say anything at all. I like to weigh out the situation. If the truth is going to hurt someone, I have to ask myself how much it’s really worth. Will it damage the relationship forever? If so, why risk it? I don’t like taking risks when emotions are at stake.
These rules all disappear if I am hurt, angry, or personally offended. That’s when I choose to let the truth set me free. I don’t like to keep things bottled up, so I can be scathing at times. That’s when the truth really hurts.
Readers – what are your thoughts on this? Which path do you usually choose?
Also, I’m still open to more questions 
Update: Hmmm…I think this was taken out of context. Some of the comments have made me question how this post was perceived. I think I was even being called a liar, but I’m not sure.
As a general rule, I prefer the phrase “If you can’t say something nice…” because it avoids silly conflicts in our daily lives. That doesn’t mean I lie. It also doesn’t mean I’m going to withhold the truth in a serious matter.
If it’s something serious, then yes I’m going to say something. But I thought this was a light-hearted question, not a serious one.
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If something is going to hurt you, I agree to let the truth out. Relationships will be damaged more by not saying anything – I know from personal experience.
No one should intentionally do anything to hurt themselves, this includes not telling the truth about something.
May I be so bold as to pick at your logic?
You state:
If the truth is going to hurt someone, I have to ask myself how much it’s really worth. Will it damage the relationship forever? If so, why risk it? I don’t like taking risks when emotions are at stake.
Thus, if I cheat on my boyfriend, I shouldn’t tell him because the truth is going to hurt him and damage the relationship forever??
I generally tell the truth always, probably to a fault, but then I also throw that logic away when I want to, so hows that for a contradiction. wee!
I understood what you meant the first time. And agree. I’m as cautious as possible when it comes to choosing the truth over someone’s feelings, especially over trivial things. But when it’s something big, I’m going to be brutally, or sweetly, honest, depending on the person. That’s just how I am. I don’t like fakes and flakes, and do my best not to be either.